The First Time

She couldn’t believe what she was about to embark upon, and she was amazed at how excited she was becoming.  She could not sit still; the thrill of it all energized her like never before.  It was all she could think about day and night.  Even whilst attempting to do regular household chores, those thoughts would creep in and whatever she was doing would become a blur. She’d be preparing a meal, and sit there for minutes dreaming and planning and then realise she hadn’t even turned the burner on. 

She was nervous too, anxious beyond belief. What if this was the wrong thing to do? What if I’m no good? What if I get laughed at? Can I really go through with it? So many thoughts infiltrating her mind. It was all so tantalizing and intimidating at the same time. Back and forth it went in her brain from enthusiasm to worry, eagerness to panic.  She felt like her mind was going to explode in the anticipation.

The date was set and she told a friend, so she couldn’t back out, though she thought often of not going through with it.  Am I good enough? Do I have enough to offer? How exciting if something more happens from this one step!

As the day drew closer, her eagerness gave way once again to fear. What am I doing, how can I possibly go through with this? But that alluring call of the unknown gave her such a shiver in up and down her spine that she simply had to go through with it.  She also knew that once she’s done it, never again will it be quite as exciting and nerve-wracking to go through.

The day arrived.  She was ready.  It was just as scary and fun as she’d expected.  As she uploaded and pushed the “save” button for her very first project submitted to Writing.com, she knew her life as a writer had finally begun.