What We Lost (under construction)

1

         Her hands slid into my coat as she greeted me warmly, her palms resting lightly at the base of my spine. I don't know why, but this seemingly small gesture made me happier than anything else that happened during our brief encounters. The reassuring warmth of her breath on my neck seemed to make reality melt away. Nothing else in the world mattered, as long as we were here like this. Alone in our crowded world.

         "Did you hear, some guy from the institute showed in town today to check out a glitch in the system? I guess some kid found a gap in the time barrier and he was using that to sneak out into the city at night. He finally got caught when he got cocky and took his girlfriend with over the weekend." She whispered, to avoid being overheard. The acadamy denies listening in on the students conversations but everyone knows to watch what they say. Even if you aren't conspiring against the acadamy the guards can easily twist your words against you, and on a slow day they wouldn't hesitate to take any opportunity to do just that.

         "I miss lurking about at night, especially here. It's a completely different place after sundown" She looked up at me, a knowing smile breaking her lips. But behind it all I saw sadness. Actually more felt it in the way her hands shifted awkwardly on my back and her shoulders seemed to tense up. It was apparent that she missed those nights under the stars as much as I did. Those days when I would wrap my arm around her as we watched the sunset over the western horizon. That unforgettable way the burnt-golden light used to envelop her, make her glow, as if it was her producing the brilliant aura of color and not the retreating sun. I wasnt always so sentimental about it before. I would get wrapped up in her radiant beauty, but then my mind would wander off and I would begin to wonder what color her panties were and why I wasn't currently removing them with my teeth. In a way I used to feel a little guilty about thinking like that but then I realized that It was just a part of human nature.

         We stood there for a moment before she began to speak.

         "What do you think happened to them?" I was almost taken aback by how childish and innocent she sounded.

         "They were probably executed." I said sounding a lot colder than I meant to. I kissed the top of her head and continued in a more hopeful tone. "But im sure it wasn't before they experienced a wonderful night of freedom and careless joy."

         A loud bell interrupted us. Five minutes already? She leaned forward to kiss me, but i felt no contact as she began to fade back into her corner of the world, and I into mine. It drove me insane knowing shes here at the acadamy, but there is no way we could be together except for those few minutes inbetween, while they prepare the next lesson. But thats just how its been since the confinement.

         Weekends provided no solace, as time burned, deep into my increasingly restless mind. It felt as though a week of school was shorter than those Saturdays alone. Sunday was a working day so it was not as bad, but Saturday I just sat around, waiting to lose my mind. I began loathing graduation even more as I realized that would mean I couldn't see her almost at all until she graduated two years later. I think my biggest worry, was that she would find someone else in my absence, and that drove me insane. Sure, it meant freedom from the system, but if I had to give up one life to gain another, I wasnt sure that was what I wanted.

         My thoughts were interrupted by the small solid clink of a ring tapping against my window. And there was Emily, standing at my window, defying the world once again. I hadn't realized it was raining until I let her in and saw the water dripping off her face.

         "How did you get here? Even without the block you live at least twenty miles away."

         "Seventeen actually, and I rode my bike. Do you still have yours?" She huffed. I was amazed she made it this far.

         "Baby, dont you have athsma?"

         "Yeah, but it's okay. I'm fine. It's not that far." She huffed.

         "If you get caught out here, they wont hesitate to kill you."

          "Thank's, Nostredamus."

         I could only look at her, for I knew any words would fail to express my concerns. She sat on my bed and immediately began to peel off her drenched clothes. Instinctively, I tried not to stare at first, and then I realized, she was still my girlfriend, and I didn't have to pretend. She pulled a dry shirt over her head, one of the ones I had given her. She stood up to pull on a pair of jeans and I couldn't help but notice how pale and fragile her skin looked. She knelt in front of me, so her eyes were level with mine, and for a second she just looked at me with those icy eyes. Then all of a sudden she was on top of me, pushing my back against the bed, never breaking eye contact as she dove into me. I expected her to keep going. I wanted her to keep going, but she just looked at me. Then without a word she rested her head on my chest and closed her eyes. I don't know how long we stayed there like that but I think at some point we were both asleep. When I opened my eyes she was trembling against me. Her skin was icy and ashen. I pulled a blanket over her and she nuzzled her forehead into my neck, her warm breath against my chest set me at ease. I placed my hand at the base of her neck and ran my fingers through her hair, and suddenly, nothing in the world mattered. Just this miracle in my arms. She batted her eyes and yawned and some sappy part of my heart melted like chocolate. She looked up at me, resting her chin on my chest. She blinked away sleep and sighed. A smile pulled at the corners of her mouth.

         "I love you"