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How the Bird Boy and Unicorn Girl Met and fell in love |
| [Introduction]
Zander meets a Unicorn Girl, he shows her and her Humanimal crew around his planet, they have a nice time, but he doesn't really think much about it until one day... Silly Anthropomorphic Mills and Boon in space |
| It started like any other day. Zander and his sister Gear were doing their job as Prince and Princess to put their planet together again after the Bettas had ruined it. Zander sighed He had been fighting for eight long years, that meant he had been fighting since he was ten years old. The night the Bettas came they had killed his Father Atal, his Mother Jezzle had died four years earlier due to some illness, the council clucked their tongues when Jezzle died they claim she got sick because she was a maverick, she didn't believe in spanking and thought their should be other ways to discipline children. Zander hated what the elders said about his Mother, his Father Atal got even angrier, he yelled at the council in his big booming voice that it is not a crime to be a free thinker despite what traditionalist elders might say. Atal had also been a maverick in his day, he was the one who proposed that the Aves form an alliance with two neighboring planets Rigel 4 the homeworld of cephapod Octos, and Jellicle, the planet of the feline Magis He was harshly criticized by the Elder Council, they thought Ava should remain isolationist, but Atal argued they would need allies should hostile forces attack their world He was right. Now as Zander sat in his office doing paperwork, something he hated but knew must be done. A young servant boy Pip appeared "Prince Zander!" Pip said "Two spaceships are now in our solar system...the council thinks...the council thinks they may be Human Spaceships!" |
| "Human hu? I've heard about them- mostly that they like to fight. Problem is, what one hears isn't always true." |
| "We've got to do something!" Said Zander's elderly adviser Clucker "These two ships are fighting with each other, and their lasers are going dangerously close to our planet!" "All right Zander said "This looks like it requires intervention! Get the Phoenix Ship!" Meanwhile Matoaka and her crew were being chased by Bimbolurlina's speed ship (Remember this is before Ichabod and before Edward) The shields were taking a pounding, everyone was panicking. "Captain!" Bob yelled "The shields! They can't hold much longer!" "I know! I know!" Matoaka said "If we die tonight, we die with honor..." Suddenly something amazing happened! Something...Red and oranges and yellow came between the Fellowship and Bimbo's speed ship, it looked like an enormous bird! "Oh god!" Kong said "Can it be? It can't be!" "It looks like..." Bill stammered "It looks like a Phoenix!" |
| "THIS SHALL NOT CONTINUE!" A deep booming voice echoed in everyone's heads including those on the enemy ship. "STATE YOUR BUSINESS HERE." The Voice Commanded "WHY ARE YOU IN THE AVE SOLAR SYSTEM?" Oh GOD!" Bimbo screamed "We're in alien territory!" "The head of the Phoenix turned to Bimbo's ship, it's yellow eyes glowed "SEND YOUR THOUGHTS TO ME." The voice commanded "WE DO NOT SPEAK EARTHLING LANGUAGE, SO SPEAK TO US IN THOUGHTS." Bimbo and her crew were too terrified to reply, they didn't think of Aliens much better then they thought of Humanimals, they thought of Aliens as big bug eyed goblins that ate people. 'Great Lord!' Matoaka sent her thoughts toward the ship 'The Humans were trying to enslave us! We are not humans we are Humanimals!' Now Zander, who was doing the talking through the ship's telepathy voice was curious "WHAT ARE HUMANIMALS?" Zander asked "WHAT PLANET ARE THEY FROM?" 'Well..." Matoaka thought spoke 'We are made from Earth Animals, Humans made us to be their slaves, but we are intelligent and have free will...Please Great Lord help us!' Clucker who had been listening approached Zander "Your Highness..." Clucker said "I've heard of these monsters, they are mutilated Earth Beasts...I hear they are just as bad as the humans themselves! I think we send them both packing!" "Oh! You think every foreign race is evil!" Zander snapped "Just because they were former animals does not make them evil!" 'Please Great One!' Matoaka thought again 'Please help us!' The rest of her crew started thinking to, with all their might 'Please! Please! Please!' Zander thought these minds sounded very young, not much younger then him, some sounded barely in their early teens...feeling sympathetic, he turned to Clucker "A Prince can never turn down a cry for help! No matter who it's from!" Zander pushed a button and the Phoenix ship kicked it's great legs and sent Bimbo's ship sailing to the next galaxy! |
"Thank you, kind sir," Matoaka thought projected. "You're welcome," Zander thought back. "Now go in peace and try to change your fighting ways. It's not civilized." "But our ship is disabled! We must make repairs. Can we land on your planet?" |
| 'All right.' Zander thought 'But when you land do not exit your ship until I have given you all a universal translator.' 'A what?' Matoaka asked 'It's like a wristwatch' Zander thought back 'Only it has the power to translate whatever anyone speaks into a language your ears understand.' The Fellowship landed on Planet Ava on a flat mesa The first thing they noticed was the heat. "How hot it is!" Matoaka said as she wiped her brow. The Phoenix ship landed close by. "Now to see what these so called 'mutilated animals' look like." Zander said to himself "Wait Zander!" Gear said "I want to go to!" "It might be dangerous." Clucker said "I'm not afraid!" Gear says "I'm curious! I want to see what Earth Animals look like!The only Earth Species we ever learn about in school are humans which are very ugly, I want to see if Earth is capable of producing anything beautiful!" "Where Gear goes I go to." Revel said Zander sighed his best friend, was also his faithful servant Revel, who was only a few months younger then him Revel and Gear were hopelessly in love with each other, but they were forbidden to marry because she was a princess and he was a servant...But there was a another reason, Revel was the son of a rapist, his father had raped his mother...Because of this he would always be a servant from birth to death... Still Revel and Gear loved each other, Zander didn't know what to do...He swore he would always protect his sister, but keeping Gear away from Revel made her miserable, Zander also inadvertently let it slip that Revel was the son of a rapist, the taunting and teasing the other young Aves tormented Revel with was so severe that Revel nearly killed himself, Zander managed to stop him before he slit his own wrist... Zander sighed, he had no choice but to let Revel accompany Gear even though the elders would cluck their tongues and disprove "Come along then." Zander said sadly Meanwhile aboard the Fellowship Matoaka and her crew were very nervous. "Captain I'm nervous." Jim said "I know." Matoaka said "But we've got to hope for the best." "These aliens are nothing to fear." Bob said "How do you know?" Bill asked "It's a gut feeling." Bob said The three aliens boarded the Fellowship, not one of them knew what to expect. The door opened, and two worlds met for the first time. Gear's jaw dropped, then she giggled "Oh...Bless my soul!" She giggled "They're adorable! Aren't they quaint?" "Let's get these translators on them first." Zander said |
At first there was awkwardness, but Bob, with his gift of gab, soon had everybody talking. Gear said to Bob, "You humanimals are all so different from each other. I don't see how you get along." Bob, who had a catfish background, responded, "In some ways I think all the differences help us to get along better. There is less competition when your neighbors are nothing like yourself." "You may be right," Gear said, thinking about her homeworld of Ava and the fierce competion there for prestige and status. She had the feeling that her relationship with Revel would not be a problem in a community like that of the humanimals. |
| Revel was a little shier then the other two was nonetheless intrigued by these strange creatures. He listened very closely, he just didn't speak up very much. Mostly Matoaka explained the history of the Humanimals' creation which she had learned from her Human Mother, she wasn't sure about telling these Aliens about the actual childhoods of herself and her friends, also there were some things that might not be suitable for sharing like the fact Minsk was a prostitute at 11 years old to by medicine for her sick little sister Anya, Matoaka knew that sharing that information might hurt Minsk's feelings, and also she didn't know what these Aves would think if she mentioned a member of her crew had once been a prostitute. Then Zander said "This is all very interesting...But I'd like to her about your childhood Captain Matoaka." "My childhood?" Matoaka gulped nervously "That may be a bit difficult for to reasons, one my childhood was shared with every member of my crew, we all grew up on the same slave farm, and also we Humanimals don't think in words, we think in pictures, if some of us seem very verbose it's because we've trained ourselves to be so because we live with humans." Zander did not seem put off by this, he merely replied. "That's OK...We could do it by Harkaskeerah" "What?' Minsk asked "It's the act of sharing memories." Gear said "All Aves are born with the ability to share memories through skin contact, and we can transfer the ability to any other species, we've given many Octos and Magis the ability to share memories and we would like to do the same with you!" Minsk and Matoaka looked at each other, Minsk spoke up "We Humanimals have a similar ability." Minsk said "We call it Dream Sharing only difference is it's not just for sharing memories we can also enter another Humanimal's dreams this way." Zander reached out and touched Matoaka's hand she looked into his eyes, her dark purple eyes meeting his bright green ones. "Captain..." Zander said "May I?" "Can I be part of this too?" Revel asked "I've never performed Harkaskeerah with an alien before, I'm curious what it will be like." Before Zander could say anything, Gear smiled and said "Why not?" Revel took her hand in his, Zander was just glad no council members could this. Soon, Zander, Gear, Revel, Matoaka and Minsk were all holding hands "These are the memories of my Brother Demetri." Minsk said "Who is not a member of our crew, he takes care of my three younger siblings back on Earth, he witnessed the death of all the adult members of our community, but was clever enough to escape death himself and escape the farm with three baby minks!" The three Aves were the first aliens to witness the deaths of the Humanimals of Nuthanger Farm. When the memory slideshow was over, the three Aves were profoundly disturbed, Gear burst into tears, and Revel patted her on the back trying to sooth her although he was also very disturbed by what his just experienced. "Oh Gods!" Gear cried "I had no idea...I had no idea!" "To think." Revel said "That Humans are actually worse then the Bettas! They kill other intelligent beings for the supposed crime of being no longer useful." |
| "Not all humans are evil," Matoaka said. "There are good ones, they can just be hard to find in a world full of corruption. Sometimes they're hiding in plain sight- they act wicked around others, but when it's just you and them, they can be their true selves." "Why's that?" Zander asked. "Fear, or even they are undercover." "What?" "On several worlds, what I'd shared with you is illegal- the use of humanimals as slaves. Admittedly they tend to be treated as second-class laborers, but one can live freely. Then there are worlds where only humanimals live." "What about that other ship?" "Crewed by slavers." |
"So they would be considered wicked humans?" Zander asked. "Oh most definitely!" Matoaka replied. Zander grinned."Then I am glad I used the Phoenix to kick them into the next galaxy." "We're glad too," Matoaka said and their eyes met and held for a long time while little sparkles seemed to shoot back and forth between them. |
| "You are quite remarkable creatures!" Zander said "I've never met any creatures with as much gumption as you Humanimals have." "Thank you." Matoaka said "I feel you deserve something for all you've done for your people..." Zander said "I know! How about a tour of our Capital City Dimentina!" "Uh..." Bob stammered "That's very kind of you but we need to repair the ship." "Oh it will only be for a few hours I promise!" Zander said his eyes were sparkling and he was smiling like a little boy who knows it's Christmas morning "I want to show you guys around my hometown!" He said |
| Matoaka looked at her crew and then looked at Zander "Well..." She said "I suppose a few hours couldn't hurt..." |
| "Let's just be careful," Bill said. "I mean, haven't you heard the story about that exploration team on PX3-976?" "That was a hundred years ago." "It could still happen." "What's this story?" Zander asked. "The team disappeared without a trace- the last words were, 'We've made contact with intelligent lifeforms.' After that, nothing." |
Zander laughed. "We have stories like that too. Spaceship goes to strange new planet. Sends message back: We have made contact with another species. They seem very friendly. And then they are never heard from again. These are the kinds of tales our young ones tell each other at summer camp." Bill frowned. "Well my story was no summer camp tale. There really was a PX3-976 exploration team." Matoaka touched Bill's arm. "Just let it go, Bill." |
| Matoaka and her crew followed Zander, Gear and Revel right off the spaceship. The heat was terribly hard on them, "It's so HOT!" Bob moaned "That's because we're hot this hot mesa." Zander said "It will be cooler once we reach the rain forest...Say, would any of you like to go for a swim? We have terrific beaches!" "But we don't have any bathing suits." Minsk said "Oh..." Zander said "And I guess you wouldn't be able to buy one on this planet, as all of you have radically different body designs...Nevermind...Our first stop when we get to town will be a nice bar to get you some drinks!" Zander was true to his word once they went into town, the first thing they did was go to a juice bar to quench the Humanimals's thirst! "What it'll it be?" The Bartender asked "Something thirst quenching.." Bill said coughing. The Bartender took a purple coconut, drilled a hole in it, and put a straw in it, and gave it to the thirsty bull. "Say!" Bill said "This is really good!" |
"We call it Hole In A Purple Coconut" "That does seem basic," Bill said. "What else you got?" Jim asked. The bartender poured a glass of glowing orange fluid. "We call this one Fresh Squeezed Orange Fruit" Jim sipped it. "Ahhh! Tasty!" "Got anything fit for a fish?" Bob asked. |
| "My you look tasty..." The Bartender said licking his beak "Excuse me?" Bob said getting nervous. "You do know we're evolved herons right?" The Bartender said "I didn't know that..." Bob said "We Aves love to eat fish more then anything else..." "Oh no you don't!" Zander said getting right in the bartenders face "You know there is an ancient law forbidding the eating of intelligent beings!" "But your Majesty I wasn't really going to eat him I just wanted to scare him a little!" The Bartender said |
| "Remind me to tell you a werewolf story and then introduce you to a wolf humanimal." |
"I wasn't scared," Bob said. "Anyway, there are fish big enought to eat birds. It's not like it's a one way deal." The bartendender grinned. "Oh, a stand off, eh? Here, I've got a special drink for you. I call it Muddy Water." Bob looked at the tall glass. "Uh... it's not really just muddy water, is it?" |
| "Try it." The Bartender said Bob took a sip of the drink, turned green (His normal color is blue) And fell off his stool. "Now there is a fish who can't hold his liquor!" |
| "How would you like spending time in jail for selling to an underage minor?" Matoaka asked. |
The bartender put up his hands. "Whoa! Lady! He looks like a middle-aged guy." "It's the fish face," Matoaka said, "but really he's just a kid." |
| Bob spit out the muddy water. He looked like a fish that was seasick. "Can someone get me the number of that truck?" He asked |
After the laughter died down the bartender gave Bob a ginger ale. "What have you got for me?" Minsk asked. The bartender looked her up and down. "I call this a Pink Fizzy." The drink was bubbling like a little witches cauldron. Minsk sipped, smiled, and gave a thumbs up sign. |
| After getting everyone drinks Zander took the Humanimals to the heart of Dimentina the great castle his home. "This is the traditional home of the High King and High Queen." Zander said "On Planet Ava there are numerous smaller kingdoms ruled by a King and Queen, but everyone defers to the High King and Queen." |
Zander acted as if he didn't hear the question. "Notice the beautiful ceilings. They are made of platinum and diamonds. That's why they sparkle so much. On Ava we like sparkly ceilings. It reminds us of the sky." "Are these floors made of marble?" Minsk asked. "They are indeed. The finest black marble available. And as you can see, they are polished to a high shine." |
| Matoaka felt a little strange, she felt like she belonged here among all these beautiful things, Unicorns love anything beautiful, they always like to be near a big clear lake where they can see their reflections, Matoaka was not like other unicorns in that she tried to keep her vanity down and remind herself all creatures all equal in the eyes of Mother Nature. But still she felt aroused by all this jewels and precious metals, she felt like a princess in a fairy tale |
"It's more than just nice,"Minsk said. "It's magnificent! Fit for a queen! Where is the High Queen?" |
| Zander sighed "Right now there is neither a High King or High Queen...There is only the Prince and Princess...Me and my sister Gear." Matoaka realized what this meant...Zander was an orphan, like her herd brothers and sisters, Matoaka herself was lucky, both her parents were still alive, Her human mother lived on the Indian Reservation while her Unicorn father wandered the wilderness. "I'm sorry..." Matoaka said "I didn't know..." "It's OK." Zander said wiping away a tear "How could you have known? My parents...My Dad died when I was ten years old, he died saving my life....My Mom...she died when I was six...She died of a mysterious illness." |
"I don't know," Zander said. "I'm not sure it just... happened. I think she was deliberately made ill by one of the nobles in the court, an evil man who wants the throne for himself. Unfortunately, I have no proof." "That's awful," Matoaka said. "Ava is a really cut throat place, isn't it?" "Well, the upper class is very competitive, but the common people are kind and friendly." |
| The two of them were very quiet for a long time. Zander looked at Matoaka's eyes, he had never seen such eyes before, they were struggling with Animal Emotion Zander did not understand |
She almost blushed. What if he knew the thought she had been thinking! "I just enjoy sitting here talking with you," she said. "Tell me more about your childhood. It was so different from my own." |
| Zander almost blushed himself "Well..." He said "After my Mother died I promised to be a good big brother to my little sister Gear." |
"I suppose in a way it was just the two of us against the rest of the world. Although you have to realize we didn't have a hard life by any means. After all, we were the Prince and Princess. There were always servants around to give us whatever we wanted. But somehow Gear and I maintained a special bond through it all. As we got older we kind of drifted apart, but I suppose that's only natural." Matoaka nodded agreement. "When children lose both parents then they must cling to each other." |
| Zander sighed, he really didn't want to tell these Humanimals about the struggle he had, his Sister in love with a servant which was forbidden Zander feeling sorry for both of them but powerless to do anything to help. "How about we go to the ballroom?" He asked "We Aves are known throughout the universe as being the best singers and dancers in the universe, maybe the royal band can play some of our best songs!" |
Matoaka kicked up her heels. "If you like to dance you have asked the right unicorn to the party!" The royal band members were called and they hurriedly put on their uniforms, rushed to the ballroom, and tuned their instruments. A servant brought Zander his dancing shoes. |
| (Um...Steve Aves don't wear shoes) By dancing shoes we mean a special ointment for his feet that would help his feet not stick to the dance floor. "Why do you need that?" Matoaka asked "Unfortunately it's necessary" Zander said as he rubbed the ointment on his soles "it prevents our talons from scuffing up the dance floor." |
| "Completely understandable- though you should see high school gym floors, between school and after-school activities, there's plenty of marks by the end of the year." |
"Are high school gym floors made of the finest imported black marble, mined in the quarries of distant Aklebdabbabad, ferried across the Yantoo River, carried on the back of Groats for a thousand miles over the Timberlyle Mountains, and then fitted into place by master craftsmen?" "Er... no." The Royal Band struck up the sprightly number called Kings Walk which always began every dance event. The Prince would take the floor accompanied by his partner and they would dance alone for a minute before everyone joined them. Zander held out his hand to Matoaka. "Me?" she said. For the first time she realized how very much special attention she was getting from Zander. It sent a little thrill through her. Dancing with a Prince! |
| After the dance, the party members relaxed in the lounge drinking cool drinks and generally having fun. "You Humanimals are really interesting folks." Zander said "I'm sure the Aves of Dimentina, would love to hear of your daring escape from the farm, your search for paradise and then your return to liberate your brothers and sisters..." "Yeah." Bill said "I suppose we could tell them all that with mere words, but wouldn't be so much more satisfying to tell them through song..." |
There was an awkward silence as everyone looked at everyone else. Finally Jim said, "I kind of thought somebody would burst into song." "Don't look at me," Bill said. "I just think a song would be cool. That doesn't mean I actually wrote one." "Well, it's still interesting," Zander said, "even if there is no song about it." |
| Bill put his hand to his chin for a moment, "I think I have an idea..." He said "Let's go back to the ballroom!" "Why?" Jim asked "You'll see." Bill said In the Ballroom the lights were dimmed, a spotlight shined on Bill, Jim, Bob and Kong who were sitting in a circle The other Aves gathered around Bill started singing "Oh Mama I'm in fear for my life from the long arm of the law..." Bill sang softly and slowly "Lawman has put an end to my running and I'm so far from my home..." All the boys started singing together "Oh Mama I can hear you a crying, you're so scared and all alone, hangman is coming down from the gallows and I don't have very long..." "HIT IT!" Bill shouted to the royal band The music started playing, all the Humanimals started dancing and singing "The jig is up, the news is out, they finally found me! The renegade who had it made, they tripled the bounty!" |
| Two servants walking along a hallway of the palace heard the music echoing out of the ballroom. "I thought the dance was over," said one. "His highness has got his second wind and the visitors have brought their own strange music." "There will be a big mess to clean up tomorrow." (STEVE! THIS IS BEFORE ICHABOD JOINED THE CREW! MARZIPAN AT THIS POINT IN TIME A STILL A SLAVE ON ALDERBAREN!) |
| During the dance Matoaka approached Zander and taught him swing dancing, at the same time, Gear made use of the confusion and took time to dance with Revel. The Aves were quite surprised by this strange music! They had never heard Rock n Roll before. After the dance, all the dancers were completely wiped out, the Elder Aves, clucked their tongues at the rowdy behavior of the younger generation. "Aren't this Humanimals just the sweetest things?" Gear asked the elderly servant Clucker "Yes..." Clucker replied sarcastically "... Sweet." |
| "Hey, some of the dances look like fun- wouldn't mind trying them with the right partner." "And just who would this partner be?" "Well, um, eh-" "A little shy around her aren't you?" "Well, somewhat." "Hmm, a good night's rest might help with that, and tell her first thing in the morning." "Um, thanks." "As for me, I'd prefer a more traditional dance- used to be good when I was around your age. Most of the female servants wanted to be my dance partner, along with a few of the younger Noble ladies that were without a partner." |
The next morning everyone wanted to sleep through breakfast. But Bob had stayed up all night and was still awake so he went around shaking everyone to drag them to breakfast. "Go away," Bill said. "I need to sleep." "You can go back to sleep after breakfast," Bob said. "Get up!" |
| "WE NEED TO REPAIR THE SHIP!" Bob screamed at the top of his voice Bill gasped and jumped out of bed "HOLY CRAP!" He shouted "We've been spending so much time having fun, we forgot all about our mission! Who knows how many innocent Humanimals have been enslaved while we were partying?!" |
| "The Comm was quite," Bob said. "So three things come to mind- Nothing happened, Comm needs fixing, or Command is using another frequency to get someone to check on us, and I know who that someone would be." "I hope they don't send him here," Bill groaned, as he got out some clothes. "That old wolf never lives anything down, and is apt to mess up what good terms we have with these people." |
| At breakfast everyone was quiet. Matoaka was not quite her usual self she was just as tired as everyone else, but she seemed happy and wistful, as she ate her breakfast she looked lovingly at Zander who was busy eating his Rainbow Melon and didn't seem to notice. As the night dragged on, Matoaka found herself wandering the royal gardens, she admired the beautiful alien flowers, and she kept staring at Ava's moon, Unicorns tend to be nocturnal like deer feeling most alive at night when magic is at its most powerful. Then she heard the sound of footsteps, Zander was walking through the garden all my himself, Matoaka hid behind some berry bushes, she did not know why. Zander was mumbling to himself, something about, 'The stress being too much' and 'I wish I could help them' Zander had been thinking about Gear and Revel, he cared about both of them, but the law stated they could never marry...The only way in hell that was possible was if Zander transferred his title and birthright to Revel making Revel a prince and therefore a suitable suitor...But the only way he could do that was to commit some act of perversity so he would have to give up his birthright. |
| "Captain." Jim said softly breaking Matoaka out of her reverie "Oh!" She said "Yes Jim?" "We forgot to repair the ship yesterday." Jim said "I know." Matoaka said sadly, She took a sip of Ava Sweet Water because her mouth was dry and it would help refresh her brain "OK." She said "We had our fun but now more fooling around...We'll start repairs today." |
Bob looked thoughtful. "If I didn't know better I would say she was in love." Bill laughed. "Captain Matoaka in love? No, I don't think that's it. Maybe it's just a reaction to all the stress. We need to be more helpful." |
| Bob knew better, even though he was gay, or maybe even because he was gay, he knew how to read a woman's mood. It was possible his homosexuality helped him understand women, because he didn't get all tingly in the groin when looking at their features. "Get my tools." Bob said to Bill "I have some serious work to do on the Fellowship." Zander, had no idea that Matoaka was falling in love with him, he liked her of course, but he liked her as a friend. Zander had put off any thoughts of romance until after Planet Ava was back on its feet after that long war with the Bettas. |
| "So, need any help with anything?" Matoaka asked as she walked behind Zander, startling him. |
"Shouldn't you be overseeing Bob fix your ship?" Zander asked. "Oh no. He 's very good. I don't need to watch him. Once he gets started on something he doesn't quit until it's finished." "A good crewman. It's the way I feel about Planet Ava. I will not stop until she is whole again." Matoaka walked along with him. "You think of her as a she?" Zander chuckled. "Yes. I guess in some ways I feel like I am married to Ava." For some reason that made Matoaka jealous. |
| Matoaka felt a wave of jealousy pass over her, but she decided she wouldn't obsess over it. Zander was merely doing his duty as a Royal Monarch, in a way Matoaka was royalty too even if Human Society would not admit it. "In a strange way." She said "I'm sort of a Princess myself." "How are you 'sort of' a Princess?" Zander asked "Well actually, I can't even be called that." Matoaka said sadly "I'm not the daughter of the the chief of my tribe I am his niece. My Uncle Chief Thunder is the current leader of the Dakota Sioux, his sister is my Mother Bitter Flower. Technically should anything happen to Thunder I would be next to inherit leadership of the tribe, only I can't because I'm a Humanimal, therefore I'm disqualified for inheriting leadership." |
| "Sounds like your laws can be troubling." "They tend to be, even in good times." |
"It seems we are in similar situations," Zander siad. "Really?" Matoaka asked. "Yes, we both want to do things that our society's laws will not permit. We are both in conflict with the powers that be." "If you say so," Matoaka said. She had no desire to argue with him. |
| After a while, Bob got the Fellowship fixed, the Humanimals went home. Before she left, Matoaka asked Zander to promise her something "What do you want me to promise?" Zander asked "That Ava will help the Humanimal Resistance." Matoaka said "I promise." Zander said And Zander really did mean that promise, he genuinely wanted to help the Humanimals, it's just that with the mountain of work getting Ava back together again he quickly forgot about his promise he forgot the Humanimals in general, he may never have remembered, if Matoaka had not decided to visit him again. Matoaka and her crew were vacationing on the Forest Moon of Endor, which is not too far from Ava Matoaka had been getting a viscous painful hankering for sex |
| "I'm sure that there's someplace that could help you out," said one of the doctors. "I know of a place that soldiers and sailors frequent when on leave." |
Matoaka slapped his face. "I'm not that kind of woman!" "Hey," the doctor said. "I was just suggesting a medical alternative. No need to take it so personal." Matoaka was still feeling grumpy when she got back to the ship. |
| "God!" Matoaka said to herself as she stroked her vulva "This is just torture!" She couldn't approach any of her crew mates for sex they were like her brothers and sisters to her! She grew up with them. Then she looked out the window, and saw a star shining with a blue light "Ava is just an hour's journey from here." She whispered to herself "I don't know if he will...but...It couldn't hurt to try!" She took a personal Space Cruiser, she told her crew she was going to the Space Station to buy some Martian Creme Cake. She didn't have the heart to tell her crew she was going to Ava to have a one night stand. She thought to herself 'He hasn't seen me in so many months...It would be rude not to bring a gift." The Forest Moon of Endor was the only place in the universe where you could find ultra delicious and super nutritious 'Golden Apples' so Matoaka plucked the biggest golden apple she could find as a gift to Zander On Ava Zander was celebrating his 19th birthday. Clucker unveiled the royal council's gift to him, a pink, sports space car. Zander was less then enthusiastic, sure it was nice to have his own car, but why did it have to be pink? Of course he was too polite to say anything. |
| I wish it was blue with orange flames, he thought. That would be a lot better. |
Actually, nobody on the council had wanted pink. Half of them voted for white and half of them voted for red. In the spirit of compromise they ended up with pink. When word came to Zander that Matoaka's Space Cruiser had landed, his face brightened. "I want to see her right away!" |
| Matoaka came into the Throne Room, she didn't wait for the fanfare to announce her presence. She stood before Zander and bowed humbly "Zander I did not know it was your birthday." She said "Well the fact that you wished to visit me at all is gift enough!" Zander chuckled "I did bring a gift though." she whispered "Oh?" Zander asked Matoaka held aloft the golden apple "It isn't much, but I thought you would like this perfect apple." "Apple?" Zander was curious "It's an Earth fruit." Matoaka said "Can typically be found in temperate climates..." She gave Zander the apple, all the royal court leaned in in anticipation, as Zander took a bite. "Hey!" He said as he licked juice off his beak "This is good, and I mean really good!" |
| "You ought to try my mother's apple pie," Matoaka said with a chuckle. "Sadly, I didn't learn the trick to making them right." |
One of the court members yelled, "Booo!" "What's his problem?" Matoaka asked. The court member, who was a tall, skinny Avan known as the Duke of Yolly, stepped forward. "I have been studying Earth culture for the last few time periods, ever since our Prince became interested in an off-worlder. I find that a children's song on Earth concerns 4 and 20 birds baked into a pie!" The rest of the court gasped. "That's just a song!" Matoaka said. "Nobody on Earth eats bird pies!" "Then you deny there is such a thing as Chicken Pot Pie!?" Matoaka was silent. Finally she said. "I'm a humanimal, not a human AND I am a herbivore." |
| Zander held up his claw "It is none of our business what people on other planets eat." He said "Our feline allies the Magis also eat birds, but they are not our birds, therefore they are not our concern, The Universal Code of Politeness is too mind your own business and not tell other sentient species how to live their lives, many species think corporeal punishment is barbaric, but they don't tell us how to raise our kids, so the least we can do is not condemn Earth species for their natural diet!" Matoaka was relieved when the Royal Court quieted down "Your Majesty..." She whispered "Please." Zander said "Call me Zander, I never liked all that protocall. " "Zander." Matoaka said "May...Talk to you privately? It's important." |
They retreated to Zander's quarters. "Is this private enough?" he said. "Yes," Matoaka said, then hesitated. "I hardly know how to begin." Now that she was in the Prince's luxurious rooms she was somewhat awed by it all. Who was she to be talking to a Prince? And in private yet? But Zander smiled and she felt more sure of herself. |
| "I want...To have sex with you." She said "What?" Zander was surprised to say the least "Please Zander!" Matoaka said "I really need this and you're the only male I can have sex with! Please! Please! I might die if I don't have sex!" Zander had to think, he had heard there were some species of mammals where the females die if they don't have sex. (Those Mammals are ferrets however not unicorns) Zander knew that if he had sex with her, he would be permanently bonded to her he would never be able to have sex with anyone else, but then he thought about that, was there anyone on his planet he wanted to have sex with? |
| "Um, I need to think about it," he said. "There could be serious repercussions if you and me were to have sex." "What do you mean?" "Mostly politic stuff. However, we might be able to get away with it if we just limit it to just hugging and kissing, and maybe feeling each other's bodies." |
| Matoaka looked at him with such a sad face Zander thought a little more, of all the girls who were not his sister, Matoaka was the only one who did not swoon and fawn over him like a fangirl She treated him like an equal And she was brave and intelligent and kind, all good qualities in a Queen." "If we do have sex tonight." Zander said "Promise me one thing." "What do you wish me to promise?" Matoaka asked "That you will marry me." Zander said |
"I'm sorry," Zander said, " but it's the way Avan sexuality works. If I have sex with you then we will be bonded for life." Matoka thought about that. It wasn't at all what she had in mind. In fact, all she had been thinking about was sex. And wasn't that kind of short-sighted? Suppose she got pregnant? It was looking like Zander was the more reasonable half of the couple. At least he knew what the possibilities were. "Bonded for life..." she murmured. "It sounds so... permanent." |
| "Take it or leave it." Zander said "I don't know..."Matoaka said she looked like she was about to cry Zander looked at her and suddenly his heart just melted He felt love in his heart like he never had before, now he really truly wanted to make her his Queen he realized no other woman would make a better bride. "Please don't cry!" Zander said "I know it seems like a big leap but so much happiness will come from this! If you become my Queen you will become the most decorated Humanimal in the universe! You will be covered in jewels from head to hoof and you will have flowers in your mane!" |
| "All right, all right." Zander said "If you become my Queen though you'll never be at the beck and call of any humans you'll be the most powerful Humanimal ever! Think of the great things you will get done!" "It does sound tempting..." Matoaka said |
| "But, I am committed to Fleet, I can't exactly turn my back on them after they rescued me and my friends." |
| "You'll have much more power as a Queen..." Zander said "You will be able to keep in contact with your friends and you will also command the Ava Military." Matoaka felt a great pain in her belly, she felt if she didn't have sex right now she would die on the spot, she knew she had to make a choice quickly "All right I'll marry you." She said "On one condition." "Name it." Zander said "After we have sex, give me two months time to prepare for the wedding, let me go back to Earth to tell all my friends and family." "I will let you have two months if that is what will make you happy." Zander said |
"Thank you," Matoaka said. "And now... your bed looks big and soft." "Oh, it's quite comfortable," Zander said. "Care to join me in it?" |
| Matoaka was giddy with joy, she lay down on her back. At first Zander was confused, in Ave sex Ave Woman never lay down on their back sex is always done 'doggy style' (Of course there is good reason for this, Aves have long tail feathers and they need them for flight. If two Aves engaged in the Missionary Position the male's knees would probably break the female's tail feathers.) But Zander didn't say a word, looking at Matoaka's flesh and blood tail, he probably figured mammals and reptiles with tails made of flesh, blood and bone don't have to worry about having their tails broken because they can just move them out of the way. "Is something the matter?" The Unicorn Woman asked "Oh!" Zander exclaimed realizing he had been dawdling "Oh I was just admiring your beauty in the moonlight." Matoaka blushed |
"Be patient, my love," Zander said. "We have to set the right mood. Wait while I light some candles.." Matoaka watched him rummage around in his bureau for some candles to light. "Please hurry, love," she said. "Ah! Found them! Is sandalwood fragrance okay with you?" "Yes," Matoaka siad. "Sandalwood is fine." "And now for some romantic music." He reached for the controls of his sound system. "Any preference?" "Anything!" Matoaka said. "I don't care if you play Dixieland Jazz." |
| Zander pressed his claw too hard into the remote, it went right through the remote. "Oops." Zander said "Can we please start?" Matoaka was sweating profusely "I feel like I might die any second now!" Zander sighed, he new he was acting like an idiot, he was nervous, he wanted the night he lost his virginity to be just right. He got into the nest shaped bed and started stroking Matoaka's face, he caressed her dainty muzzle going down to her neck. His eyes wandered to her small pert breasts, as Matoaka had not been impregnated yet her breasts were small and had no visible nipples. "Fascinating features." Zander remarked "What are?" Matoaka asked "Your... Mammary glands." Zander said blushing "Only mammals have such things, we Aves don't. Most of the elders find Mammal breasts disgusting and abhorrent things I for one find them interesting." "If you want." Matoaka said seductively "You can feel time, I certainly wouldn't mind.": |
There followed a prolonged session of mammary gland feeling which left Matoaka sweating, fidgety, and just about ready to impregnate herself if only that were possible. "We're off to a good start," Zander said. "And now for the customary one hour of ritual foreplay which I learned in my Avan high school sex education class." "Arrrrgh!" Matoaka said. |
| Matoaka started thrusting her pelvis up in the air, grabbed Zander close and forcefully kissed him!" "Just fuck me!" She growled "What?" Zander was confused "Don't make love to me like a bird! She said "Fuck me like a mammal!" There was a strange smell coming from her body, it smelled like cinnamon and other spices. When Zander got a whiff of the smell, his member went up and he became very horny indeed. He breathed in her scent again. It was absolutely nothing he had ever smelled before in his life! |
Things got a little undignified after that. A lot of thrusting, squawking, kicking of hooves, bucking, bouncing, screams of delight... Later, as Zander and Matoaka lay exhausted in the bed, stretched out and totally relaxed, Matoaka remembered that she had agreed to marry Zander. This changes everything, she thought. |
| But then she thought about what would mean, No more having to be at the beck and call of the bitchy Madame Britannia, Britannia would have to kiss her little hoof! Now she would finally have a fleet instead of just one measly ship! |
"What are you smiling at?" Zander said. She snuggled closer to him. "I'm thinking I could get used to this being a queen idea." |
| Well, If you read one of my other campfires, you know for a fact that Matoaka does not become Queen We flash forward nine months later where Matoaka gives birth to her baby they were all on an enemy spaceship setting free all the slaves when Matoaka's water broke. "Oh God!" Ichabod cried as he was the official medic for his team he started to panic "I'm not ready! I'm not ready! I'm not ready!" Kong the Gorilla who was the medic before Ichabod replaced him, gave him a through smacking "Stupid, Stupid, Stupid Fuck!" Kong growled as he smack Ichabod's face "This is no time to panic!" |
| "But this is no place for anyone to give birth," Ichabod stated. "In that case, we commandeer the Captain's Quarters- more fitting for the child of royalty, not to mention a fleet captain, to be born in a place of command." "Isn't the Bridge the place of command?" "Depends on the ship- now shut up, and let's get going." |
| [Haven't we completed the story of how Zander and Matoaka first met?] And so Matoaka lay on the bed of the enemy captain to give birth. Ichabod calmed down, but luckily Kong was there to handle things. |
| (Yeah we completed the story of how they first met, this is just a bonus story, the Space Beasts story of the birth of Amalthia) Matoaka started running a high fever, so Kong stripped her of all her clothes so she could cool off, he also turned her around so instead of laying on her back she was kneeling on all fours. "Why did you put her in that position?" Ichabod asked "Shouldn't she be laying on her back?" "Haven't you been reading the medical textbooks I gave you?" Kong retorted "Laying on one's back is the HARDEST position to give birth in! It's much easier if one is on all fours that way gravity helps things along...Didn't I ask you to get hot water a minute ago?" "Yes Sir!" Ichabod said quickly he scampered off |
In the hallway Ichabod encountered a crew member who asked, "What's up?" "Matoaka's having a baby!" Ichabod said. "Oh man! I have to see that!" "No you don't. It's not a talent show. Where's the closest hot water?" Ichabod hurried back to find Matoaka yelling her head off. |
| Zander had been setting free some Bird Humanimals when his sensitive ears picked Matoaka's screams "Oh Gods!" Zander said "Matoaka! She needs me!" He started running towards the sound of her voice...But one enemy soldier that had escaped being tied up, knocked Zander out with a frying pan. |
Zander was only out for a few seconds. He woke up as the soldier was going through his pockets. With the strength of ten birds he pushed off the soldier and said, "I've got to go to my mate!" The soldier reached for him again and Zander gave him an Avan kick, much worse than an ostrich kick, and the soldier was down and out seeing stars. |
| Zander tried very hard to reach Matoaka but Duchess Bimbolurlina tried to catch him by wrestling him to the ground. While Zander was busy with that Kong was trying to help Matoaka "Didn't you go to your Lamaze classes?" He asked "No..." Matoaka said "I didn't...I forgot..." |
"I know how to breathe," Matoaka said. "Don't be a smarty," Kong said. "Just breathe slowly. And push!" "Push what?" Meanwhile Bimbolurlina was proving to be a good s. "Let me go!" Zander said. "And how did you get me twisted into this posirion?" "You like that? I call that my Mexican Zambolina move. I've got dozens of cool moves." "I have no time to wrestle," Zander screamed. "I must get to my mate! She's having my baby!" |
| "Do you think I don't know that?" Bimbo snarled "Matoaka is my most hated enemy!" Meanwhile Matoaka was straining as she pushed the baby through, she was sweating and feverish, she felt as if her entire birth canal was disgorging, Suddenly the baby popped out. If you could see Matoaka's face, you could see a very goofy grin on her face relieved the baby was finally out. Kong cleaned the birth blood off the little foal with towels, he licked some of the birth blood off too, reminding Ichabod they were in fact animals Should I get a clamp for the umbilical cord?" Ichabod asked "No need." Kong said "I've got everything covered Then with his sharp gorilla teeth HE GNAWED THROUGH THE UMBILICAL CORD! |
| Bimbolurlina had Zander pinned to the floor. "Let me up!" he yelled. "Don't you get it? I'm going to be a dad!" "Tell me I'm your mama," Bimbo said. With a mighty heave Zander once more pulled free of the Great Bimbolurlina's wrestling holds. |
| Zander bolted towards the captains quarters There he found Matoaka wrapped up in a blanket, in her arms was a little green and white and black foal "What are you going to call her?" Kong asked "Well." Matoaka said "I think I'll call her Amalthia." The End! |
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