Raw Fear

RAW FEAR

It starts with just a small tightness in your body.

Nothing significant, just a rather uncomfortable feeling.

It's there because you just know that this is going to end badly.

You can't deny that awful taste in your mouth.

It isn't pleasant at all doesn't and signifies even worse to come.

The voice in your head tells you it is time for fight or flight.

You are immobilized, and can't get your brain to process your need to move.

Cold sweat begins to form and trickle down the center of your back, but you are not hot.

Chills course through your body as your mind fills with pure anxiety.

Your heart begins to palpitate, as your thoughts start pushing you down further.

Impending doom grips your mind pressing you beyond your endurance.

Partly because of the knowing, but it's the not knowing that is killing you.

You want even need information, but you don't want to hear it.

Solemnly sitting here in this hospital emergency room you know, and you are scared.

Scared, because everything points to what you don't know and don't want to know.

Your body tenses even more every time the triage door swings open.

Your mind wonders what are they doing and what can be happening.

Others look at you with the same blank eyes with which you look at them.

No curiosity just looking, knowing, and feeling sick from the knot in your stomach.

The news can't be good because they are taking entirely too long.

Only the worst could be happening as you sit here helplessly waiting.

How could this be happening to you here and now?

The pit of your stomach churns and your clothes feel sticky in this icy place.

Your head throbs as you feel the blood cruising through your veins.

A wave of cold daunting emotions begins to take control of your mind.

As you arrive at the conclusion that you know will send you over the edge.

The what if of the situation plays itself out, and suddenly just before you pass out

You hear the doctor saying "Your son is alright.  You got him here in time."

You wet your pants as the tears begin to flow down your cheeks.