behind the cold concrete walls

I watch as life is handed out
on broken mining hands
Bountiful leader gives us
our daily bread
Amen

I see the grey water
being sloshed a plenty
on dull silver
Grateful leader feeds and
waters us
We are told to worship him
And we do.
We have to love him.

I don't...

Mother said that the eternal leader
could not do so.
She whispered in my ear before
Find the right oar to travel
through this black burned door
to the white snow past the fizzy fence spoken in lore.
Then she dies...

BANGBANGBANGBANGBANGBANGBANG
BANGBANGBANG
BANG...

Grateful leader does this?
I need out.
Now.
How could a man do this
Our Grateful one...
Not for me
Anyone?