words

the sun peeked out of the clouds to tell me goodbye
as i went home to see my love, my son
we ate grilled cheese and talked of the day
and i knew
these moments between a mom
and a half grown son
can be counted by the ticking
of the calendar pages '
tearing through his junior and senior year
one gone, one left
treasure it all, mama, you know how time moves

noises bursting from the tv
and cozy blankets follow next
chatting through some comedies
about everything and nothing at all
meaning is in the eye of the talker
the listener may or may not be focused
thinking of things I have to do
noticing dust and cob webs calling

the phone rings and it feels
like just another call from his dad
thankful for the call but worried for it's content,
i uneasily sink to my space on the couch
but your crazy has arrived
to this phone call's destination
and your words rip apart my baby's heart
while i can do nothing to stop you
father of the year you feel
that you are never wrong
telling your son to fuck off
i tell you there will be no one
nothing
from here to hell
is a nonstop flight
its where youre headed
for eternity
No question on anyone's mind

he cries on the couch
you talk about money
his heart is broken
you talk about work
i cry for him
you call me a bitch
break your sons heart
tear his self esteem into peices
that can be flushed down
your million dollar toilet
warn our son that you have messages
from me
that are close to what you say about me
i dare you,
show your cards jack ass
because you know you cant
no messages exist
my other son calls
tears are falling on a long distance love
i miss him so
and he wishes for a hug
but there is nothing i can do
tear apart my family to him
your words mean nothin to me
i'm stronger than your words
i can laugh as you laugh
but not at our sons pain
as you do right now

he stays up late crying, wondering
what did i do mom
to make him so mad
to make this night ruined
i hold my young man
in the same arms i've had
for him and his brother
since they were no bigger
than a peanut
i caress his cheek
wipe away a tear
arrange his gorgeous hair
Just how he hates where I put it
But today he lets me
i kiss his face, hot with tears
I wish to take the pain from his heart
To takes the memory of this day
And toss it into the far off dark

You hateful
Person
And I use that term loosely

you'll die with money around you'
i'll die with riches
him. and his brother.
are the only riches i need

and knowing you will get what you deserve in the end
makes me fall asleep hours after he does
with him near me in our blankets
I may not have it all, but I have all I ever needed
and you have it all, get it all, want it all
but you can never unstab him
his heart has a scar from your words of hate
how can you hate something you made
how can you not see
nothing you do now
will ever make him see you
as he saw you before?
you will be the reason
for your lonely existance
soon
because no one can stand the hurt you inflict

I wish revenge was easy
because for hurting my baby boys last night
nothing is more harsh
than a mom
of a hurting child
to the one who hurts them

so in a week we sit down
for turkey dinner
and you sit where you are
and i have my babies
'round me forever
Their love and trust
A priceless treasure
I keep in my heart
That u will not break
Ever again