Family Connections (Chapter 1)

Dear Diary,
Where am I? That is the question I have been trying to answer since I woke up this morning. I found myself in a bed I have never seen in a dingy room I don't know. I am alone in this room, but I hear other people, so I know there are other people in this building, whatever it is. Right now, all I know is I am cold, hungry and scared.

I tried to remember as much as I could from last night. I remember being home and Johnny showing up. He asked if I would be wiling to go with him so we could talk. After what happened the last time we went out, I figured a good talk was what we needed. I remember riding in his car and getting nervous when I realized we were going to the same place we had went last time. When he parked in the exact same place, I wanted to bolt from the car, but I stayed put. From there, I don't really remember much. I DO remember seeing him reach across the seat toward me and then feeling an explosion in my head. Everything starts to blur from then until this morning. I have flashes of things, but nothing that makes any sense.

I remember feeling like I was being carried from one place to another. I also remember a man, whose voice I don't recognize, calling Johnny a stupid kid. I remember being on a leather seat in what I think was the back of a car and going down a very bumpy road. I remember hearing sirens with that memory flash. Then I remember being tied down to some kind of bed and being wheeled down a brightly lit hallway. I know it was bright because I can remember flashes of light seeping through my closed eyes. The last thing I remember from last night was the sound of a very heavy metal door clanging closed.

So, what happened and where am I? I still don't know for sure, but am beginning to suspect that I am somewhere I would never want to be. The reason I know other people are here is because I can sometimes hear them screaming. I can hear other people to. Some sound nice and they are trying to calm the others who are screaming. Others seem to be very angry and are yelling and cursing at the ones screaming. When and if I ever see another person, I hope it is one of the nice ones and not one of the angry yellers.

I wish I had some clothes. Right now, I am in what looks like a hospital gown (Is that where I am?). It is dingy and dirty and smells awful. The one blanket I have is also dirty and scratchy. When I woke up this morning, I found this notebook. a pencil and a 'clean' gown laying at the foot of my bed. The pen and paper was under the gown, so I'm not sure if someone was trying to hide it, or if it's something that everyone gets. There was a little note that feel out when I picked up this notebook. All it said was 'Use me." There was no name or anything on the note, and I have a feeling that whoever left it didn't really want any evidence that they had done it. So, even though I haven't meet anyone yet, I at least have someone in here who I can maybe talk to.

I think I know why I am here. I never should have told Johnny what I told him yesterday at school. I didn't really have a choice, did I? I mean, it's his fault, if what I fear is true. After all, there aren't a whole lot of things that could cause me to feel the way I feel right now. I missed my period. I have been getting sick for the last week, and my breasts are sore. I am so scared I am pregnant and I had to tell someone. Johnny was the first person I thought of. After all, if he hadn't forced me the last time we were in that clearing in the woods, I wouldn't have this problem. I did promise him I wouldn't say anything to anyone, since we both stood to get in trouble. Being pregnant though would give something away. I would be forced to admit that I was no longer the pure little girl my parents thought I was and that would probably land me in some boarding school away from everyone I know and love.

So, is Johnny behind where I am? It's possible. After all, he is the only son of the local Sheriff, so he would definitely be able to hide me away somewhere. I just worry about how long I am going to be here and what the final plan is. Am I going to be here forever? Will I be able to go home once the baby is born, if I am pregnant? What will happen to the baby once it's born? Sounds like I have a lot to think about which is a good thing, since it's looking like I am going to have nothing else to do but think. I should probably stop writing now since I am starting to smell food and I think I hear a squeaky cart wheel. I'm not sure where I will hide this, but I know I will hide it. I don't want anyone to find it or to get in trouble. So, for now, I will start looking for a place to hide this. I'm not sure when I will get a chance to write again, but I know I will try to find out as much as can before then. Until then, Sara.