Needing Comfort

Needing Comfort,

There are times in our lives when we all need comfort and it starts early in life. Babies are born into a strange world where they are bombarded by new sensations; being cold, I would think would be the first shock for them. They are swaddled in a warm blanket and placed in their mother's arms. They soon learn about hunger, the discomfort of a wet diaper and as they grow they find comfort in being rocked, sung to, a favorite blanket or stuffed toy. They get frustrated and cry because they can't always express what they need, but when that need is magically found and dealt with they once again settle down happily.

From our childhood years we discover many things that give us comfort and not the same things provide comfort for different people. It depends on the situation. Some people take comfort in the church, some in alcohol and, some in sex.

Some of us take comfort from foods that bring back memories of a time you felt safe or loved. Strangely enough one of my preferred comfort foods is Aylmer's tomato soup in a cup. It has to be Aylmer's and it has to be in a cup. I can trace this back to my early childhood when we live in a huge tenement house in Danville. In the evening everyone came out and sat on their porches. One very nice old gentleman would make a pot of Aylmer's tomato soup every evening and bring out a cup each for him and me in the evening. When we moved to a house in the country Aylmer's tomato soup in a cup was what was waiting for me when I came in from sliding or skating in the winter. Most kids had hot chocolate, but I had Aylmer's tomato soup in a cup.

The need for comfort is triggered by many different things: fear, loneliness, loss, pain, and sickness are a few but the list is long. For some it is easier to find comfort than it is for others.

For example, I cannot imagine being homeless and living on the streets. When I see documentaries of people living on the street I cringe thinking of the comforts they must yearn for. There are missions and shelters, but not enough of them and many homeless people won't for whatever the reason make use of these services. Some will find a place out of the wind and set up house in a large cardboard box lined with blankets and clothing they find in garbage cans. Much of their food comes from those same garbage cans.

Then there are the elderly still living at home after losing their mate of 65 years. They're grieving and lonely and unable to do the things that used to make them happy. Sometimes their children and grandchildren are spread across the country and many friends have passed away. The fear of having to leave their homes and go into a Senior Residence is high on their list of worries. Having someone drop in for a visit is often a big comfort for them, it could be a friend, a neighbour or a Home Care nurse. A nice cup of tea and a chat goes a long way.

Comfort can be found in escapism by reading a good book, watching a movie or working on hobbies. I feel sorry for people who have no hobbies to fall back on, on a rainy day. It is never too late to learn a craft or find an interest to help pass the time when you are lonely or bored. Eventually, everyone grows old or retires or is struck by an illness that changes your routine for ever.

Yes, everyone needs comfort and this leads me to questions about the darker side of life. Were there needs, that weren't met or behaviors learned in childhood that contributed to some of the evil that exists around us? Do serial killers find comfort in killing their victims or rapists find comfort in violence against women? Do prostitutes find pleasure in pleasing their pimps or being physically abused by the Johns? What about women who stay in relationships with men who beat them and what about the men who beat them?

This line of thought makes me happy that I can take comfort in Aylmer's tomato soup in a cup, a hot shower, a warm blanket to cuddle under with a good book, friends, pets, etc. I think the world would be a better place if we all took the time to look around us and see what small things we could do to bring pleasure and comfort to those around us.