Optometrist

         Glenn Miller played in the background; "In the mood". Great music doesn't need lyrics to bring its message across, Sarah's feet couldn't help but tap to the rhythm. She was in the mood. Her pen glided across the journal page; 'I got paid today, real money, not just peanuts!' She had started her new job at the local newspaper a week before, 'the world is my proverbial oyster'.

She looked at the words she had written and knew that they were cliche She was a cliche the struggling author looking for a break, the older sibling wearing a mantel of responsibility that was never actually given to her.  Her sister, Leena, constantly reminded her that she was not the parent.

Just then, Leena walked into her room and flopped on the bed with an exaggerated sigh.

"Hey, didn't you see the sign- 'Check dark clouds at the door'?  What's got you all in a bunch?

"It's Friday night, and we're just staying in?" Leena was young and impetuous. "What are you listening to? Ugh." She changed the radio to Rick Dees. "That's more like it, she bopped up and down a few times to some indistinguishable 'pop' song.

"Where do you want to go, little sis?" Sarah knew there was no avoiding it, so she closed her journal and braced herself for a night on the town.

"Andy is at the Beergarten, let's go check it out?"

"That's the one in a tent on the beach?" Sarah heard herself sounding like a wet blanket, like a parent. "Don't you think it is too cold for that?"

"You're not going to catch your death, Sarah. Come on! Come with me? Please."

Sarah hesitated, feeling fatigued from a week of 'trial by fire' and insane deadlines. "Ok," she conceded. "I did get paid today so I guess we can go celebrate."

"Woo-hoo!" Leena jumped from the bed and hugged her big sister.



         The Beergarten was cold. It was over-crowded and too loud. The beach sand filled Sarah's shoes with each step. She was swayed back and forth through the torrents of people trying to reach her sister again. Leena was giggling seductively into Andy's ear at a table in the corner.

"Yuck, the bathroom is literally a long john!" she burst into the love-birds' private moment.

"Haha! I know, right, it's crazy! I'd rather run into the ocean."

"I wouldn't put it passed you, Lee."

Andy seemed disappointed that Sarah had come along on his date.  He got up and took a drinks order.

"I'll have another peach daiquiri."

"No, she'll have a water, Andy, and then perhaps a coke."

"Who are you, my mother!?" Leena shrieked with a sudden flash of anger.

"Someone has to look out for you, and I'm the only mother you have, Leena."

"No, my mother is dead. I don't have a mother!" Leena pushed her chair back and disappeared into the crowd. Sarah's eyes filled with tears at the pain in her sister's voice. She pushed into the crowd but the swell was moving in the wrong direction. Eventually she managed to make it to the bar and forced her way out the service entrance.





         The music faded to a dull thudding and the stars came out to greet her. She breathed in the cool salty sea air and realised she was happy she was outside on such a beautiful night. She scanned the beach knowing that her sister would be sulking on the shoreline somewhere. Not too far from the huge tent, she saw the fragile figure of her baby sister sitting chicken legged in the sand scooping up handfuls and throwing them despondently at the ocean.

She walked over and sat down cautiously. "I'm sorry, Lee, I didn't mean to upset you. I just feel like I'm the only one that ever takes responsibility for you. You just skip through life as though there are no consequences."

Leena's make up had run down her cheeks as she had cried angry, bottled up tears. "Do you remember, when... after the accident, you would always cheer me up when I missed them?"

"Of course, you called me your optometrist."

"Because you helped me see good."

"There is always good in the world, sis."

"What good came of it, Sarah? What good came of us by not having parents?"

"We have each other. Who knows, if things had been different, we might not have been so close."

"Perhaps. You would have probably gone off to private school on scholarship and become a super nerd, if we hadn't been in an orphanage. I bet you would have to gone to college."

"Well, I didn't, and see, I'm still happy. I have you." Sarah hugged her sister's shoulders. She would be gutted if she lost Leena. "Super nerd, really?" The two sisters laughed.

"I'm sorry" Leena said with tears welling up again.

Sarah hugged her tighter. "I don't believe they are just gone. They are with us. Mom is always with us."

"Is that why you keep writing that journal to her?"

"It's my way of remembering to remember her." The sisters sat in silence for a long time. Sarah shivered as the cold wind brushed against her bare shoulders. "Let's go for a swim?"

"Really? It's a quarter after midnight!"

"Yes, really! Life is... unpredictable. Who knows what tomorrow will bring, but today I have my sister."

They stood and walked brazenly into the low tide waves. Sarah felt the icy water wash over her feet.

"Last one in is a rotten egg!" Leena shouted as she ran fearlessly into the sea.

For years since the accident, Sarah had always sat on the outside, watching out for danger and writing to her mother. She had fretted for Leena's safety and struggled to keep them fed and housed so she was never much fun. Each day when she got home from her various menial jobs, she pulled out her journal and wrote to her mother about every detail of her day. Recently, more than 10 years since the accident, Sarah had sat over her journal sobbing because she could not remember her mother's face. At the time of the accident, she had not cried in public, and certainly not in front of Leena. She had to be strong for them both.

Sarah watched Leena dive boldly into the ocean and disappear for a few seconds. Then, she let herself fall into the waves and be swallowed up by the water for a moment.  The gentle swell of the waves buoyed her upwards. When she surfaced, she felt lighter, as though the heavy burdens of life had fallen off in the water and lay at the bottom of the ocean.

The moon shone down on the sisters as they played in the water like children, carefree, innocent.