The Life I Dreamt About

When I was a young girl, I dreamed of getting married someday, wearing a beautiful white dress with a long veil trailing behind me as my Dad walked me down the aisle to the most handsomest & kindest man I’d ever met.  Of course, there would be kids – 2 boys and 2 girls, all very intelligent and growing into responsible human beings that dearly loved their Mama.  My husband would be successful and we would never have to worry about money and I would be a stay-at-home Mom that baked cookies, prepared the kids’ the best lunches each day for school and even made their clothes myself.  Then, when I watched “Leave it to Beaver”, there I was – Barbara Billingsley as Beaver’s Mom – that would be me someday!  Funny thing about dreams though, you eventually wake up or find yourself slapped in the face by a good dose of reality!

What happened to those dreams of that young girl?  My life certainly did not happen like my dreams – First, my wedding dress and veil were knee-length and my husband served his tour in the Air Force then began a career in Construction!  Holy Crap – need I say more!  The construction industry was and still is, a career of “feast or famine” so there was no “Stay-at-Home” Beaver’s Mom career in my future. At one point, there was even two jobs to hold down, so I went to work and didn’t quit until I retired at 62.  As for the children, there was only 2 in my future – but 2 very handsome sons, but no girls!  There were baseball games, football games, Tai Kwon Do practices & tournaments, meals to fix, bathes to give, laundry to do, doctor appointments – well, it was a full schedule.  By the time I turned 30, my Dad had passed away and my Mom followed 3 years later.  Ultimately, their loss and our business loss due to the recession, took its toll on the marriage and I came to realize the devastation of divorce. 

Thankfully, 9 years later, after 2 engagements ended, I happened to meet the man of my dreams at work and he was leaning over a copier!  A happy beach wedding followed and almost 22 years after we met, we’re still as in love as we were then.  With the new marriage, I gained another son (still no daughters) and life got even fuller.  We now have the three sons, 12 grandchildren and 1 great-granddaughter!  We are truly blessed! 

So, what happened to that life I dreamt about so many years ago and what are my regrets?  I’ve come to realize that Life is a journey with many detours, potholes, and lots of surprises – but, bottom line, without those sidesteps, I wouldn’t be the strong, empowered, enlightened and loving woman that I’ve become.  Regrets … well, there’s always regrets.  The primary one being that I didn’t tell my parents and my sisters I loved them more often and how much they meant to me! Meanwhile, my life goes on … I’m still learning, experiencing new things, adore my grandchildren and my husband, and still looking forward to new dreams and new adventures!