Too Late For Us

She couldn't believe how after ten years of not seeing or talking to one another that the feelings could still be as strong as they were. Everything played back in her mind like a movie playing on the big screen. She'd arrived at his front door that morning, she stood there in front of it and took several deep breaths. Butterflies and knots and thoughts about just turning around and driving home. Finally after what seemed like a lifetime she knocked on the door. She just stood there when he opened the door, their eyes locked on one another. Finally he motioned for her to come and give him a hug. Their embrace lingered for a few minutes and when they let go of one another, she followed him on inside.

They next few hours were filled with stories of their life after they'd parted, stories of when they were young together, laughter and errands that he had to run. She didn't care that they were running around doing the things he had to get done, she was with him again. Her best friend. In her mind, so much had changed, but there was still so much of him that was the same. His eyes, the smell of him, the way she felt when he smiled at her. The funniest thing is that she could tell that he felt the same feelings for her as he did when they were younger... two teenagers caught up in the romance of youth, not completely sure what the feelings really meant, just knowing that all they wanted to do was drink each other in.

He'd gently poke her in the side, or nudge her with his elbow, and she'd do the same. Flirting, each one too nervous to make the first move. Finally she got up the nerve. Sitting in the car, getting ready to leave the parking lot a little store she leaned over and gently kissed him on the cheek. Their eyes met and he just smiled.

Back at his house, they got the bags out of the car, he handed her his house key and she went on to open the door.
Inside, they placed the bags on the table. She began to put things away as he let his dog out into the back yard. Her back was turned towards him when he came up behind her and wrapped his arms around her. She turned to face him, their eyes locking, He leaned down, their lips drawing closer, she stood on her tip toes to make their lips finally meet. The feeling surged through her body like bolts of electricity, her heart felt like it was skipping beats or just going to stop altogether.

Finally the kiss broke and they looked at each other, without missing a beat he grabbed her and lifted her up, her legs wrapped around him and he carried her into the living room, laying her down on the couch he laid on top of her and they were lost in a deeper more passionate kiss. Again the kiss broke, he pulled her up and led her to his bedroom, he stepped away from her to close the door. She stood in front of him staring into his eyes, nothing mattered but this moment. She slowly pulled her shirt off and let it drop to the floor, he did the same, they took turns removing pieces of clothing pausing for brief moments before removing the next article so that they could drink in the others body.

Both of them finally standing completely naked he reached over and drew her body to his, their lips locking again in a passionate burning kiss. His hands traveling up her back and down her sides, her body shaking in anticipation. He gently laid her back on the bed, and began to kiss her again, only this time his lips moved from hers and down her neck to her breasts, his hand softly cupping the opposite that his mouth was on.

She was lost. Lost in his touch, intoxicated by the feeling of him against her. He kissed her again, and whispered gently, " I will be gentle."

He entered into her, and she inhaled deeply. Their eyes both locked again, she knew this was right. So many times when they were younger had this "almost" happened but something always seemed to interrupt them before they could go this far. Their hearts on fire both then and now. Their bodies were no longer two separate bodies, they were one, tangled in the sheets. They were both lost in each other, drinking each other in. Somehow his hands found hers and their fingered intertwined as they made love.

He kissed her again, and rolled over onto his back. Their bodies still one, she raised up and began to move her hips, his hands ran along her waist and up to her breasts, her head thrown back and her body arched to thrust him deeper as their movements continued in a rhythm that only they could hear. This went on for a while and then without notice he flipped her back onto her back, one arm underneath her arm, one hand running up and down her side as he kissed her deeply again and together they erupted like a sleeping volcano coming alive.

The laid in each others arms afterwards, trying to catch their breath, waiting for their hearts to return to normal. She kissed his chest, he kissed the top of her head. She looked up into his eyes and smiled. He laughed and asked her what she was thinking.

"13 years,' she paused, " this is what I've been missing all this time?"

He just looked at her with a smile.

After a few minutes of silence she said, "it was worth the wait."

They laid together for about a half hour before the dog started barking to be let in. They got up and got dressed again. She fixed dinner for him, the first time there had been a home cooked meal in well, he couldn't remember when. They sat and talked and laughed and he held her.

Day faded away into a soft dusk and she knew the time was nearing for her to leave.
Silently it was killing her, knowing she would have to walk out of there not knowing when the next time she would see him.

He could tell she was lost in her own thoughts, he took her hand and squeezed it gently, "What are you thinking, Jenny?"

She met his gaze, smiled softly and sighed, " I never thought that the feelings would still be there, just as strong as they used to be."

He smiled softly at her and brushed the hair out of her face, "the feelings are still there yes, but I am not at a place where I can give you what you need."

The words ripped through her like shards of glass. She tried as hard as she could to hide the hurt, with choked back tears she simply said, "I do understand, nor am I." They sat there together in each others embrace a little longer before she had to leave. She hugged him tightly, knowing that this day would be one she never forgot.

He walked her to her car, he kissed her again, and opened the door to her car. He was lost, so much he wanted to say and tell her, but he wasn't ready and could not give her what she deserved. He watched as she drove out of sight. The house was now empty again, his shirt smelled of her perfume. He had so desperately wanted to tell her to stay.

As she left the city he now called home, she began to cry. After all those years of not speaking, not seeing each other, knowing that life had taken them down different roads, she still loved him. She loved him as she had when they were younger only now she understood that meaning of love. She also knew that it could never be more than what it had been that day. He wanted to have children one day of his own, she couldn't provide that for him. She needed someone to love her and her own, and he was not in a place to where he could do that. The moment she left his house, it was goodbye... for the both of them it was goodbye.