Something about suicide

You were my everything.
Everything I have, I would give for you to be alive again.
The riots killed many people, but I never imagined
Never considered
That you could have been one of them.
And now my life has gone to hell,
I can't live with myself anymore,
For not stopping you.
For not being there.
I love you.
I always will.
Even after my body turns cold.


I take out my dagger my father had given me when I was in fifth grade. It's pathetic, but I still need to know exactly where to slit my wrists, and so I look it up.
The world has gone insane, I've gone insane, and now that you're gone it only makes it worse.
I lost more than a brother today, I lost my twin. And if I can't have my other half, I don't know if I can live.
Mom and dad fought again last night after they got the news. Nobody consoled me, they just yelled at each other and cried and mom spent the night at a hotel. Dad yelled at me this morning. He yelled and yelled, he would rather have me dead than you, he always wanted a son more.
I don't blame him. And now, he won't have either of us.
I find the vein on my right wrist, and slowly cut along the skin. Red blood bubbles and flows out of my arm.
Our graduation was in a week. We were going to go on a double date with our dates, remember? Now they won't need to hook up behind our back anymore. Now they can be free.
A rush of nausea and dizziness makes my sway and falter, but I feel no pain. I go on to the next wrist.
What drove you to it? Mom and dad, your girlfriend, our life, what america has become? Or was it me?
Ill be able to ask you soon enough.
I don't want to die.
I have to.
I'm not religious, but I hope that there is a heaven how.
And suddenly I regret it, and I try to cry out, but the pain is too much and I fall but I don't notice until I'm on the ground and I don't stop falling.
The room stops spinning.
And the light fades out, like I'm being dragged away by some invisible force.
There is no heaven.
I'm coming, brother.