Finding my ideal Self

Life is nothing but a game
A game of chess where
The smartest wins the game.
Brain is very crucial in it
Cause it determines your chances
To win with also no army by your side.

Then comes your hand
You need it to portray your choices.
Then again it may get its own mind
And deceive your brain!

Then another player in this game is the soul,
The soul that tells you where u belong,
The very soul that guides you to your destination,
The one that you were born with
The one that you keep on forgetting
As soon as you get involved in the material luxuries.

Then comes The famous heart !
The one that is the most delicate!
It is the one that fights with your brain , hand and soul.
This is the game changer for many.

The heart is something that we adore,
We adore it if someone has a big heart.
We adore the heart that places humanity above religion,
But we hate the ones with small heart.
We hate the ones that have a heart made of stone.
We hate it even more when someone is heartless.

Then again we blame this very heart
For breaking like a glass!
We blame it for being a player .
We keep on saying that
The heart is the most complexed one !
But how is it complexed when we are
Not sure about ourselves!
We don't know what we are and what we want ,
We keep on changing and blame the heart for it!

As we proceed in this game ,
We encounter other players,
Who are on the same game ,
Maybe at different levels,
Fighting different devils ,
At different situations .
We may tend to like the way
The other players perform
We may feel that they are better than us.
We may try to copy them ,follow them.
In the process we lose a part of ourselves.

Then again on one side
We admire the other players
On the other hand we get jealous of them .
We admire their strength, their tactics
We admire their intelligence
But on the same time we get jealous
Of them having more strength than us
Of being more intelligent than us.
That’s how this game rolls
With us having the inferiority complex.

When we start failing we want to cry
We feel like a complete failure when
We continue to fail again and again ,
We ask god that why all the troubles come to us only ?
We fear to cry in public cause we are told that
It makes us weak and nobody likes a weak person.
We are told to hide our emotions from others
Cause nobody likes an emotional person.

We are told that feeling these emotions are not okay
We are told that we need to delete them ,
But what happens if these are natural
When we are bound to feel them
What happens if we don’t learn to control them.
That’s when they turn worse than before
The normal emotion becomes extreme
The one that’s not good
But we don’t know how to control it !

Then on the other hand ,
We expect people to show sympathy ,
When ever we face big loss in our life,
Like losing a close one ,
Like failing in exam of life,
Like getting your heart broken ,
Like getting involved in accident ,
When we don't get the response we want,
We curse people for being heartless ,
We hate everyone for not showing their emotions!

When we see others in trouble
We don't want to help
We feel that it will invite more trouble,
But on the other hand
When we are in trouble
And are seeking for help
We hate when others don't help.
Why is it that we hate people
For doing what we do!
For thinking like us !

We get into arguments
We get misunderstood
We get blamed
We feel nobody understands us
We cry and feel sad thinking
That when will someone understand us
When will people start thinking like us.

When someone copies
What the whole crowd is doing
Then we call them sheep
We feel that they are good for nothing
That they can't do anything unique
Can't express their thoughts .
What's the fun in doing what
Everyone else is doing
We call it boring .

We get scared whenever
We want to do something
We ask our self what will others say
Will they disapprove my actions
Will they make my life hell
We can't escape this trap
Trap of fear of being left alone.

Why is it that
We get broken by our own expectations
We get let down by our own selves
We make big impossible expectations
When will we learn from our mistakes
When will we stop expecting things.

Why do we have to become
Like somebody else
Why can't be become like our own selves
Why do we have to compete with others
Why can't we compete with ourselves
Why can't we try to be better than yesterday.

Why can't we learn to love ourselves
Why do we have to wait for others to love us.
Why can't we help our self
Why do we wait for others to help us.
Why can't we just be our ideal selves.

The ideal self that we imagine becoming
Since we were young
Since we started talking and dreaming
Why can't we stop making life hell for ourselves.
The day we learn to except ourselves Just the way we are
The day we learn from our mistakes
The day we stop keeping expectations
The day we don't require anyone else
That very day we will become our ideal self .