If a Mexican seagull pecks on your head,
take a big spoon and stuff him with bread.
If that doesn't work and he won't go away,
you can shout in the wind and scare him away.
If a French bumblebee stings your face and your ears,
take some salt from the sea and give him wet tears.
If he keeps on stinging, despite your best efforts.
Shout hoggiily boggily and bring in the experts.
If an English mosquito chooses your skin to prick,
try to smack him with fingers, just give him a flick.
If he continues to bite and your tears come in floods.
Mix some dirt with your tears and smear him with mud.
If a Portuguese horsefly lands on your toe,
take a giant wood bat and strike one big blow.
If he refuses to move, just sits on your digit.
You may consider calling a world-famous midget.
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