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An anthology of strange tales. Some wholesome, some twisted. All eerie. |
| [Introduction]
Though they were before my time, I am a huge fan of classic anthology tv series like The Twilight Zone and Tales From the Crypt. Twilight Zone in particular, with Rod Serling's masterful writing and story telling, always has me enthralled with each episode, even if I've seen it before. So, I thought, why not make my own sort of tribute to said series, with my own personal touches here and there of course. Like my Paragon Prince campfire, this will be episodic in nature, with each episode telling a different story. Each episode could range from something completely original, to a sort of parody of a classic episode of the original series. Or anything in between, really. If anybody wishes to join in on they need only to ask the author. |
| You are now entering a realm unlike any on this Earth. A realm where anything is possible. A place where humanoid animals exist alongside homo sapiens, and where the line between magic and science blurs. You have just entered...The Anthro Zone. It Takes a Village Presented for your entertainment, Robert Birkman. Your average 35 year old human male. Profession, officially, babysitter. Unofficially, thief. His specialty is con jobs. More specifically, gaining his mark's trust, then robbing them blind when the opportunity presents itself. At present, he is driving to his latest target, a wealthy couple who seemed rather desperate to find someone to look after their 6 year old daughter while they get some much needed time to themselves. Robert thinks this will be his biggest score yet. But he's about to discover that it will in fact be his worst nightmare. Robert parked his beat up old Chevy down the street from his destination before walking the rest of the way to the wrought iron gates of a large estate belonging to a family known as the Millers. He didn't know what exactly they did to make such money, but whatever it was, surely it was enough they could easily replace whatever he planned to steal from them tonight. So needless to say, he didn't feel very remorseful about robbing them. It would be like any other job, he thought. Once the parents were gone, he'd tie up the kid and load everything valuable into his van and be gone before the parents got back. Piece of cake, he thought. He rang the door bell and was greeted by a fox lady in a ravishing red dress. "Oh, you must be the babysitter." She said, welcoming him inside. "Thank you so much for taking this job on such short notice. You wouldn't believe how difficult it is to find someone willing to watch Tina for us." He stepped into a grand foyer with marble floors, a long oak staircase, chandelier and everything else you think of when you imagine a rich family's home. "What was your name, sir?" The lady asked "John." He said. Only an idiot would give their real name in his line of work. "Well, Mr. John, my husband and I will be out for quite a while. I don't expect we will be back until well past midnight. Please make sure Tina is asleep in her bed by ten, and help yourself to anything in the fridge. There's a list of phone numbers and instructions on the dining room table." Just then, the husband came down the steps dressed in a tuxedo, followed by a small child that Robert figured must be Tina. "Thank you sir, for coming all the way out here." The husband said, hastily shaking Robert's hand. "I'm sorry to be so blunt, but me and my wife are running late as it is." He kissed the small fox goodnight, and hurried out the door alongside his wife. Robert watched them drive off through the window. Once they were gone, he grinned to himself. Suckers, he thought. This is too easy! Asking someone like him to watch their home was like asking a cat to watch over your canary. He turned to face Tina, who just stared up at him with big bright eyes, holding an old teddy bear in one hand. "Are you gonna be my new friend?" She asked innocently. He smirked. "Sure, kid. In fact, let's play a game!" "Yay! What game?" The next thing Tina knew, she was blindfolded and tied to a chair, while Robert began stealing anything that wasn't nailed down. Jewlery, silverware, cash, you name it. Suddenly, Robert heard a thud coming from the room where he had left Tina. peeking inside, he saw the chair he had tied her to was now laying sideways on the floor, with the rope untied! "What the hell?" "You tricked me." Came a voice from behind him. He turned to see Tina, staring up at him with an angry scowl. "That wasn't a game at ll! You just wanted to take our stuff!" Damn, he thought, this kid's smarter than most. "Look, kid. I don't know how you got out of those binds, but I I've never had to hurt a kid on the job, and I'd really rather not start. So how about this time I tie you up on the sofa this time, and you can watch cartoons or something while I finish up." Tina just grinned a wicked, unsettling grin, especially coming from a child. "I have a better idea." Suddenly, everything went white! When his vision returned, Robert found himself unable to move or speak. Everything around hims seemed enormous. As he realized what had happened, he tried to scream in horror, but couldn't so much as gasp. He'd been turned into a doll! Somehow, that kid turned him into a toy! Tina picked him up and stared at him for a moment. "Hmm. I think you'll do." The next thing Robert knew, he was sitting at a small table, surrounded by stuffed animals being served imaginary tea and cookies. "Excuse me, ladies. I'll be right back." Said Tina, exiting the room. Robert tried in vain to move, but couldn't even wiggle his toes. How in the world was this happening?! This had to be some crazy dream! "Psst!" He heard a voice say. "Over here!" |
| The voice came from a stuffed rabbit. "What's going on?" Robert asked. "Long story short, she's a sorcerer, or something like that," the rabbit said. "She's been doing this to anyone that displeases her in some form." "So, what did you do?" Robert asked. "Told her that she couldn't have some special gummies, that children aren't supposed to have," the rabbit said. "You mean, cannabis gummies?" Robert asked. "More customer-friendly than smoking a joint, or even a vape," the rabbit said. "What about you?" Robert chuckled nervously. "Um, I'm a thief." The rabbit snorted at this. "Did you hurt her?" "No, I didn't do that," said Robert. "Guess you're lucky there," said the rabbit. "You'd be dead if you had." "What do you mean?" Robert asked. "She'd turn you into food," the rabbit said. "Something fitting to what you are." "So, what happened to your gummies?" Robert asked. "Good news is, she didn't like the taste of them," the rabbit said. "Bad news is, things, apparently, were extra crazy, compared to normal." |
| OK I tried I want out of this campfire I can't pay attention to these long entries I'm too busy |
| That's when they heard the sound of small footsteps coming down the hallway. "She's coming back!" The rabbit said. Tina re-entered her bedroom and resumed her tea party. There has to be some way out of this mess, Robert thought. "There is." Tina said out loud, as though she heard him. "That's right, I can read minds." She said as she picked up Robert and held him in front of her. "What do you want?" Robert asked. "I just want someone to play with." Tina said, with an almost sad glint in her eyes. "My parents are always busy, and I don't have many real friends." Robert could actually relate on some level. He had always been an outcast as a child, never knew his father, and his mom was always working to provide for him and his siblings. Looking back, all that probably contributed to him turning to a life of crime. "Alright, kid. I'll play with you for tonight, if you promise to change me back to normal." Tina had a thoughtful expression on her face for a few moments, before replying "How about this? We'll play three games, you and me. Win, and I'll turn you back to normal and you'll be free to go. Lose, and you're my plaything forever." Robert hesitated. It was a big gamble, but he knew it was also his only shot. "I'll play your games. But only if you free everyone else too." Tin a looked around at her various toys. Just how many had she collected, Robert wondered. "Okay. But we do this my way." The room began to warp and twisted, until they were standing in a sunlit forest. "Our first game will be hide and seek." Tina said. "I've made it so you can move again, and will give you to the count of twenty to find a place to hide. If I can't find you within thirty minutes, you win." She set Robert down and closed her eyes, beginning to count out loud. Though still a toy, Robert was thankful to at least be able to run again. He ran as far and as fast as his plastic legs could go, diving into a hole in the ground. Now he just had to stay quiet for the next half hour, and hope Tina didn't find him. |
| "Good luck with that," said the rabbit's voice in Robert's head. "Tina don't play fair." That was when it started to rain, and the hole became rather muddy. |
| It was then Robert had to scurry out of the hole. He grabbed a root and hoisted himself out of the ground. I really need to go on a diet, he thought to himself. He scurried up the nearest tree he could get to. He waited until thirty minutes were up. "You win," Tina said, levitating next to the branch Robert was on. "For the next game, I want to see how well you can navigate a funhouse." "Big deal," Robert said. "Those mirrors distort your reflection." "But there is a catch," Tina said. "Whatever mirror you're looking into, your real-life body will alter itself to match the reflection. Don't worry, your clothes won't be affected." Robert's knees started to shake as the room changed to a mirror hall section in a funhouse. "Good luck," Tina said with a sinister smile. "You're going to need it." |
| This shouldn't be that hard, Robert thought. As he made his way through the maze, he passed dozens of mirrors that warped and twisted his appearance. One made him ridiculously tall and skinny, like a stick figure drawing by some kindergartener. Another made him squat and fat. "How do I win this game, anyway?" He said out loud. "Very simple." Came Tina's voice. "Find the exit." "That's it? How is this supposed to be a challenge?" "Oh, you'll see." Said Tina with a wicked giggle. Suddenly, the entire funhouse went black, as though someone flipped a light switch off. Robert couldn't help but groan. "Me and my big mouth." After taking a few more steps, he felt the floor give way from underneath him, and he fell deeper into the darkness. Evidently, he had been standing on a trap door. He felt himself land in a pile of something firm, yet soft. The lights came back on, and he saw he was now in the center of a gigantic ball pit, like one would find at a Chuck E. Cheese. Struggling a bit, he tried to, for lack of a better word, swim through the rainbow assortment of plastic balls, in hopes of reaching the edge and climbing out. Then he felt the balls shifting around him, as something else was moving around beneath them. There was something in the pit beside him. Something very big. |
| There was also the concern about what might happen to his real body. He needed to locate a regular mirror |
| Robert had to heave his heavy body out of the ball pit. He didn't want to be attacked by whatever was in there. As he finally managed to climb out, a giant monstrous stone jaguar head popped out afterwards. The rest of its body rose up to attack. Robert ran as fast as his pudgy body could carry him. "I've got to find a regular mirror and change myself back," he said to himself as the stone jaguar came crawling after him. As he ran, he looked around for a mirror that could change his body back to normal. Then, coming into his view was what looked like a real mirror. His face brightened up. "This is it!" He exclaimed. As he looked into it, however, he was stretched both vertically and horizontally. Without warning, his already distorted body began to contort itself to match the reflection. His already ill-fitting shirt was beginning to ride up on him even more. "What's going on?!?" He demanded. "I can't get out of here looking like this!" "I didn't say you had to find a regular mirror to fix yourself," Tina said from afar. "The challenge is you had to escape the funhouse while avoiding the jaguar." Robert looked behind him. To his surprise, the jaguar wasn't chasing him anymore. "Okay," he said. "What's the final game? You name it." "For the final test," Tina said. "I want to see how you handle the dangers of the jungle." On cue, the room began to turn into a jungle. Robert was turned back into a human, but he was still stretched vertically and horizontally. "Can you change me back the way I was before?" He asked. Tina formed a frame with her fingers. "I like you better this way," she said. "Besides, you have to follow this multicolored path on the ground while encountering the dangers of the jungle until you reach the ivory tower. If you succumb to ten dangers, you lose. I'll be waiting!" |
| With that, Tina vanished. Robert looked to the path in front of him. Well, he thought, i have ten chances to get to this tower, and i just have to follow this road to get there. Shouldn't be that difficult. Like in the Wizard of Oz. But before he had even taken a dozen steps, he found himself in a pit of quicksand. He sighed. "Should have known." He wasn't too worried. He knew quicksand wasn't as dangerous as movies and video games make it out to be, rarely getting more than a few feet deep. But now, his feet were stuck, and he was slowly but steadily sinking. "Okay, just relax." He said to himself "If I struggle, I'll only sink faster." He tried to stay calm, looking around for something to grab onto to pull his way out. But he didn't see anything within reach. |
| It dawned on Robert he had to slowly move to get out of quicksand. So that's what he did. After climbing out, he looked over to a tree with a rolled up piece of paper dangling from a tree. He walked over and grabbed it. Upon unrolling it, he read it carefully, "When you reach your destination, please yell the following word aloud-" He flipped it over and read the following word which was written in uppercase letters: "COWABUNGA!" "Bravo!" Tina said from afar. "You found something useful for when you end your journey at the golden city." "Wait a minute!" Robert protested. "You said I had to reach the ivory tower!" "I've changed my mind," Tina said. With that, Robert continued along the path. It wasn't long that he got winded from walking as far as his blubbery body could carry him. He began to feel the ground vibrate. At first, he thought it was his bulging stomach, but as the sound grew louder, he knew it was a stampede heading straight toward him! |
| A herd of elephants came bursting out from the jungle! Robert might have been able to dodge if he still had his normal body. But in his current form, he never stood a chance. He was trampled flat by the rampaging pachyderms, before reappearing good as new at the start of the path. "That's one down." Came Tina's voice. "Seriously?" Robert protested "You're gonna make me start over every time I die?" "Think of it as an opportunity to learn from your mistakes." Said Tina "When you get back to where you were, you'll know to avoid the danger." She did have a point. Besides, he thought, I still have nine more tries. That should be plenty. Making his way past the quicksand and the elephant's stomping grounds, he came to a river with the rest of the path on the other side. At first he thought he could just swim across, but...no...that would be far too easy. By now he was catching on to Tina's tricks. This had to be some sort of trap. He threw a rock into the water, causing several fish to leap about from beneath the surface. "Great." He said "Pirahnas." The only way forward was across the river, but if he tried to swim he'd be torn to shreds by the fish! There had to be some way around this. |
| He looked thoroughly around for a bridge, but he couldn't find one. "I guess I'll have to make one," he said. He tried to get off the path, but an invisible barrier stopped him. "Uh, uh, uh," Tina's voice said. "Stay on the trail or you'll be cursed to turn into a monkey." Robert sighed. At first, he wanted to jump across, but after spotting a raft in front of him, he picked it up, started to run, and flopped on his fat belly as the raft hit the water. "Now to get across," he said. Then, he picked up a paddle and started rowing to the other side.as he landed, he got off the raft, which was being ripped apart by the piranhas. "I'd better keep going," he said. As he started walking, he noticed what looked like a long log stretched in his path, but upon further inspection, it didn't feel like wood. It felt like a snake's skin. As he looked up, he saw the owner of the skin. "A python!" He shrieked. "I've heard how you and the boa constrictor hunt: you squeeze your prey to death before eating. I'm not going into your belly!" He grabbed a coconut and threw it at the big snake, hitting it on the head. He made a dash away from that spot, but after 20 steps, he started panting heavily. I wouldn't blame him, seeing as he was huge in shape and size. It wasn't long until he heard a rumbling noise out of nowhere. He looked behind himself to make sure it wasn't another stampede, but he didn't see anything. The sound erupted even louder. He looked down and this time, it really was his stomach! "I really need to eat something," he told himself. |
| "Better be careful." Came Tina's voice again "Many of the fruits in the jungle are poisonous. So choose wisely." |
| Looking at what fruits were at his disposal, Robert grabbed a blue fruit and took a huge bite out of it. Then he waited until he would succumb to poison, but he didn't. "I know fruit's supposed to be good for you," he mumbled to himself. "But I'm not losing a single pound." He pinched his belly fat while he continued to devoured the fruit. Too bad he wasn't paying attention when he heard screeching overhead. He continued down the path until he heard the screeches getting louder. "Monkeys?" He gasped when he looked in the trees overhead. "You've got to be kidding me!" A dozen or two monkeys came climbing down from the trees and came after him for the fruit in his hand. He began to run as fast as his portliness could allow him to go, but the monkeys were about to get closer. He grabbed a vine off the ground started using it like a whip. "Git!" He shouted. The monkey screeched before turning tail and running. "Next time, think twice before messing with me!" Robert warned them. "Now that my hunger is satisfied, I guess I should continue," he said to himself. |
| After walking through the jungle some more he came to a vast mountain range. "You're really close now." Said Tina "The city is just on the other side of these mountains." Looking up, Robert gulped. For one thing, he was never really comfortable around heights. Also, with the current state of his body, how was he ever going to climb all the way up there and down again? "I'm feeling merciful." Said Tina "So I'll give you a sporting chance." He heard a heehaw coming to his left, and he saw a donkey, with a saddle and bags of supplies. "Um, thanks?" He said. "Don't thank me yet." Said Tina "I said I'd give you a fair chance. I never said I'd make it easy." |
| Robert got onto the donkey. "Alright," he said. "Just get me to the city." "I'll do what I can," the donkey said. "And, I'm sorry for any inconveniences that I and the others have caused you, and will cause you." "Don't tell me, you're all those Tina has trapped?" Robert asked. "That includes the jaguar and cougar that will be coming after us," the donkey said. "Good friends when they don't have to hunt me down." "And when they do have to hunt you down?" Robert asked. "They'll just kill me," the donkey said. "You, they will toy with - they have to. You'll be glad when they can finally crush your skull. As will they." |
| As the donkey carried Robert further up the mountain, the two began to hear a rumbling sound. Robert placed his hand on his giant stomach to see if it was growling again, but instead, the rumbling was coming from the mountain in front of them. Upon closer inspection, he saw something red coming from the top. "It's a volcano!" He exclaimed. "Let's get moving!" The donkey called, showing him the path. "Isn't there a shortcut I can take?" Robert asked. "I'm not afraid not," Tina said. "That would be cheating. You'll suffer a curse for cheating." "Oh, brother," Robert muttered. |
| The donkey started to run as fast as it could along the rocky slope. Which really wasn't easy with Robert on his back. "You know, you could really stand to lose some weight." It grumbled "Hey! I'm not normally this fat! This is just because of Tina's last game. I'll turn back to normal once this is all over...right?" The donkey shrugged. "Can't really say. Nobody's ever made it that far." "Real reassuring." Robert said, his voice dripping with sarcasm. "Hey, I'm just being honest." The donkey replied "Wouldn't want to give you false hope." |
| "So, what about the jaguar and cougar?" Robert asked. "They'll be along, soon enough," the donkey said. "As I've said, it's nothing personal, but something that they have to do." |
| At the bottom of the mountain, Robert and the donkey managed to outrun the lava dripping from the volcano. There in front of them was the multicolored path that led to the golden city. "We're almost there," Robert said. As they went further down the path. "Let's give it all we've got!" "Wait a minute," the donkey said. "It seems there's still more to come." As if right on cue, rain began to pour down from the sky heavier than usual. "Told you," the donkey said. "It must be monsoon season." Robert frowned. "I really hate that little brat," he said, cradling his large stomach in his hands. "If I ever return to my normal body, I swear I'm going to slit her throat and chop her head off with a butcher knife!" "I heard that!!!" Tina shrieked from a distance. "Besides, you can't kill me." "Why not?" Robert demanded. "If you win the game," Tina said. "You'll find out. You've got more dangers to encounter in the jungle along the way. Don't stop now." |
| "How much farther, anyway?" Robert asked the donkey. "Not much farther now. Should just be another mile or so." As they made their way along the path, Robert kept nervously looking back and forth, on the lookout for the Jaguar and Cougar, which he had no doubt would appear at any moment."So, when these cats do show up, how fast can you run?" He asked. "Not fast enough to escape them, most of the time." The donkey said "Sometimes I get lucky, though." |
| "Good news for is, they'll stop to feed on me," the donkey said. "Buys you a head start, and you could outrun them as a result." "Still sounds cruel, to just leave you," said Robert. "Well, that's a Moral Dilemma for you," the Donkey said. "Do you risk your life to try to save mine, or do you keep on heading to the finish line?" |
| "I've got a better idea," Robert said. He quickly made a bonfire and dipped a torch in, lighting the tip. "Those cats won't know what hit 'em," he said. As if right on cue, the jaguar and cougar leapt out of the bushes. Robert waved the torch in front of them, scaring them away. "And away we go!" He exclaimed. But, before they could take another step, a big animal charged toward them. "A rhinoceros!" The donkey shouted. "Whoa, Fido!" A familiar voice said. It was Tina. She was riding on the back of the rhino. "I'd like you to meet my pet, Fido," she said. "Do your parents know about him?" Robert asked. "I'm sure they don't mind," Tina said. Fido lowered his head, and with his horn, drew a line in the sand. "I dare you to cross that line," Tina said to Robert. "Yeah, right," Robert said. "I'm not going to do it." "I can fix that," Tina said. Using her powers, she made Robert levitate. "Put me down!" He protested. Tina smiled and dropped him past the line. |
| (I think this story has gone on long enough. So I'm just going to wrap it up and get us started on the next one.) This instant Robert's feet made contact with the ground, the earth began to shake and split, like an immense earthquake from nowhere. But to Robert's surprise, this seemed to cause Tina to panic, as though she wasn't causing this. "What's happening?!" She exclaimed with an obvious tone of fear. The jungle began to disappear, and for a moment, they were both standing in an empty white void. Then a booming voice called out from nowhere: "Tina! What have I told you about abusing your magic?!" There was a blinding flash, and the next thing Robert knew, he was back in Tina's bedroom. He looked around in confusion,, noticing that many of the toys Tina had before were missing. There stood the fox woman from before, Tina's ear firmly grasped between her fingers. "I'm so sorry." She said "My husband told me she was too young to learn magic. I insisted she learn early, so I guess this is partly my fault." Robert looked down to see his body was back to its normal shape. The fox lady continued " Whatever she put you through, it was all just an illusion. You were never in any real danger, if that's any comfort. Now, Tina, you apologize this instant!" Tina gave a teary eyed look as she said "Sorry, mister." "I assure you, she will be punished appropriately for this."Said Tina's mother."I've also freed her "Prisoners", for lack of a better word." Robert, however, was just relieved that it was all over. Before the vixen could say another word, he made a beeline for the front door, ran straight to his van and floored the gas, eager to get away from this place as fast as possible. Right now, all her wanted was to get home, have a good stiff drink or ten to help forget about this nightmare, and maybe in the morning he would consider finding another line of work. The Suits New York City. New Years Eve, 1999. The residence of one Jonathan Foreman. At this very moment, Mister Foreman is awaiting the arrival of his closest living relatives to spend his final evening with his family. But Mister Foreman isn't doing this for the sake of sentimentality. He knows full well that his family is just waiting for him to pass on, so they may inherit his vast fortune. Tonight, they will get their wish. But first, Jonathan has one last thing he must do. He's going to teach his family a lesson they'll never forget on this New Years Eve. Something they will carry with them well into the next millennium. Fireworks ignite the New York Skyline as Jonathan Foreman watches from the bedroom window of his penthouse suite. For months now, he has been growing steadily more weak and frail. He lies in bed with his personal physician doing some standard tests. His faithful servant, a cat man named William, awaits outside the door, dreading the news. When the doctor finally exits the room, he worriedly asks "How is he?" The doctor sighs. "I'm afraid he's in the final stages now. By my estimate, he's got until midnight tonight. Shame, too. What with it being new years. If you wish to say anything to him, now is the time to do it." William enters the room and sits by Mr. Foreman's bedside. "William." He says "You have always been so good to me. I'm just sorry that my end means you will need to find new employment." William nods sadly. "You have always been good to me in return, Mr. Foreman. Which is more than I can say for most humans. Especially your family members. No offense." Jonathan nodded. His family never was the open minded sort. "When are they coming, anyway?" William asked. "They should be here soon. I suggest you take your leave before they do. They never were very fond of your kind." Bidding each other farewell for the last time, William went to the penthouse elevator. As it opened, out stepped four humans, each looking more snobbish and stuck up than the others. William pretended to not notice their jeering glares as he boarded the elevator and made his descent. Making their way to the bedroom door, the humans greeted Mr. Foreman with cries of "Father!" and "Grandpa!". Jonathan knew it was all a load of bunk. They were here for only one reason: to claim their long awaited inheritance. "My dear family." He said with a subtle undertone of sarcasm. "Thank you all for being here. Before I depart this world, I have one request for you all." A few moments later, they were all in the living room, Mr. Foreman in a wheel chair, and his family on the furniture. "Now then, I have something for all of you." He indicated four boxes aside of him. Passing them out, the family was confused to find a costume resembling different animal in each box. "What is this, father?" Asked his daughter in law, Maggie. "This is part of my request, Maggie. Each of you are to wear these costumes until the stroke of midnight tonight. Whoever refuses, or takes off their costume before the ball drops, will be excluded from my will." |
| "What if we have some last minute errand that takes us away?" asked a grandson, who had turned 18 a couple months back. |
| "You're not going anywhere," Jonathan said with a glare. "To make sure none of you leaves this place, I'll have William lock every door." So, the family looked at their costumes and saw what which one was whose. Maggie's was a lemur. Ethan, the grandson, had a tiger costume. Cora, the granddaughter, had a wolf costume. Of course, Jonathan's son Bruce had the costume of a blue heeler. |
| The family looked hesitantly at each other. They didn't exactly want to go through with it, but if they wanted their inheritance, they had no choice. They reluctantly began to slip on the costumes. "Why is it so important that we wear these things?" Cora asked. Jonathan smirked. "Oh, you'll see soon enough." They had about three hours until midnight. The costumes were rather hot and smelled weird on the inside. But greed can be one hell of a motivator. They would stick it out, for the sake of finally getting what was theirs. |
| "Now, we have some time together until they drop the ball," said Jonathan. So, the family began sharing memories with each other while still in the costumes, waiting for the ball to be dropped. A minute before midnight, Jonathan began to feel sick. "Father, what's wrong?" Bruce asked. "My time has come," Jonathan said weakly. "Soon, you'll have everything I've owned and keep it. I've been so horrified at what you've all become. Your greed has made you into Savage animals." He was about to continue when he drew his last breath. "He's dead," Bruce said. "Now they're about to drop the ball!" When the ball was dropped, the family began to feel strange. For some reason, they were becoming dehumanized animal versions of their costumes. Bruce became a blue heeler, Cora became a wolf, Ethan became a tiger, and Maggie became a lemur. Each one tried to speak, but they couldn't. They could only make the sounds their respective species could. "An animal can only be greedy," said William, shaking his head unhappily. "If it catches its prey." The doctor came upon William calling him. Jonathan's Body was taken away while the animals that were once his family were taken the zoo. Stay tuned for our next tale from the Anthro Zone, A Shell of His Former Self. We all know the story of The Tortoise and the Hare, but what we don't know is the aftermath of the story. The hare, now out-of-shape, living on a farm with his family, he finds the answer to redoing the race when he rescues a gypsy from getting hit by a truck. But will he change the past or will he make the same mistake again? Find out in our next tale from the Anthro Zone, A Shell of His Former Self. |
| (I was actually planning on having that last story go on somewhat longer, ThunderX. But you got the gist of it out in your last addition anyway, so no big deal.) A Shell of His Former Self In a small country town of animals, there lay the O'Hare Family Farm, owned and operated by, well, the O'Hare Family of course, for as long as anyone could remember. The Father and head of the Family, Nicholas O'Hare, had inherited the farm from his father, and he from his, and so on. In his youth, Nick was known for two things: His quickness on his feet, and his arrogance. That is, until that fateful day. The day he agreed to a race against Seymour Tortoise. Nick being a rabbit and Seymour being...well, a tortoise, he thought for sure it would be the easiest victory in the history of sports. And indeed, at first he had outrun the old slowpoke by several miles. But after getting so far, he decided to take a nap halfway through the race, figuring the tortoise would never catch up. Oh, how wrong he was. He'd overslept, and by the time he awoke and made it to the finish line, the accursed turtle had already won! Needless to say, Nick never quite lived down the humiliation of that defeat. For many years afterwards, he was the laughing stock off the town. But eventually, everybody moved on and forgot about the race. Everybody except Nick. Even today, as an adult, the events of that race still linger in his mind. Now he's married with at least a dozen children, and has gained a noticeable amount of weight since then. He's no longer as fast as he used to be, but still wishes another chance to redo that race. |
| (To be fair, never saw the original, but I know that the masks warped the family. This ending is not quite what I'd of done myself. But, I digress.) Nick was at the bar one day. He was on his third drink when a vixen sat next to him. "Do you know how to make an apple martini?" she asked the bartender. "That's not one I'm real familiar with," the bartender said. "But, let me take a quick look at the recipe." They stepped back, and took a look at the recipe book. The vixen looked at Nick. "Do you come here often?" "Often enough," said Nick. He turned, and glanced at a photo, one covered up by another. What was visible was "Fastest in the land." A snort came out of the rabbit's nose. "Don't dwell upon the past too much, or you'll get stuck in it," the vixen said, once her drink was served. "What do you mean?" Nick asked. "I was stuck in a bad relationship, with someone who believed that it was for life," the vixen said. "I got out of it, but he always hunted me down. He walked through one restraining order after another, until, one fateful day..." The vixen shuddered. "I stumbled into the territory of this gang, near where I lived, and collapsed. They managed to get a doctor, who checked me out. The gang must of saw enough, and they made a choice." "What choice was that?" Nick asked. "To send him a message, and they burned his car, with a very statement to not mess with me," said the vixen. "He didn't listen, and came after me again. The choice became very clear to that gang. One made the decision to do what was needed. That one is serving 15-30 years, for murder." "So, this guy was so stuck on you, it lead to him being killed?" Nick asked. "He was," said the vixen. "However, I was so stuck on him, I couldn't trust anyone. It's funny, a group of criminals is the reason I learned to trust people again. I ended up becoming a lawyer." She looked at him. "I heard you lost a race to a tortoise because you took a nap. You've dwelt on it for years. You think that you're a loser. However, I know a few other things - you have a family. Do you want to lose them? Because something like that, is more important than some mere race. Think about that." She then paid for her drink, and left the bar. |
| As soon as Nick paid his tab, he heard some ringing coming from his overalls. He fumbled around for his phone until he fished it out of his pocket. "Hello," he said. "Hey, honey," a female voice said on the other end. "Have you gotten me anything for our anniversary?" It was Nick's wife, Rebecca. She was the only one who didn't feel ashamed of Nick when he lost the race. |
| Oh crap!, Nick thought. He had been so busy drowning his sorrows, he'd forgotten today was their anniversary! Rebecca was gonna kill him! Unless... "Well, sweetheart, I actually ordered something special for you. I'm on my way to get it right now." "Ooh, okay! I'll be waiting for you at home! The kids have been helping me prepare our special anniversary dinner. See you later! Love you!" "I love you too." Nick said almost dejectedly as he hung up. How could he have been so stupid? Now he had to find a gift for his wife, and quickly, before he missed dinner and his wife would know he forgot! Think, Nicholas, think! What could you get her that's available at this hour? |
| That was when he saw one of those sexy underwear places. "Well, I know her sizes." |
| At that moment, he noticed a young gypsy woman walking into the street just as a truck was heading toward her. "Look out!" He shrieked. He leapt out and pushed her out of the way. She looked at him and gave him a smile. "I'm sorry," he said. "I'm already married." He rushed toward the store and grabbed a set of women's pajamas for her. At the checkout, he swore he saw that gypsy woman checking out in a different lane. He just shrugged it off. When he got home, he presented the pajamas to Rebecca. "Happy anniversary!" He announced. Rebecca smiled. "Thanks," she said. "I don't have any pajamas in mauve at all." She and Nick shared a kiss when their six daughters and six sons were sitting at the table. When Nick and Rebecca had a son, they'd have a daughter next and so on and so forth. |
| The next day, as Nick was on his way to work, he ran into the gypsy woman once more. "Oh, hello." He said, Surprised to see her. The gypsy, an old Catwoman, said "Tell me, sir. What do you regret most in your life?" Caught off guard by the question, Nick paused for a long moment before responding "You're new in town, aren't you? You must be if you don't know who I am. Well, if you must know, years ago I lost a race to a tortoise, if you can believe that. Ever since, I've been the joke of this town. If I could have anything I wanted, it would be the chance to redo that race." |
| "There's all kinds of races," said the gypsy. "Perhaps you should check up on him, and see how he is now, instead of dwelling upon past defeats. Maybe his life isn't as successful as yours. A simple footrace means nothing, compared to winning a fortune, only to lose everything as a result. I've seen that before. By contrast, I've also seen someone have nothing, only to gain everything." |
| "You know," Nick said. "Seymour did start a sporting goods shop called Seymour's Sportstorium. I wonder if I won that race, I'd have my own." "Perhaps I can help with that," the gypsy said. "Meet me at sunshine at the lighthouse." "The abandoned one?" Nick asked. "Yes," the gypsy replied before leaving. So, that's what happened. At sunset, the two met at the abandoned lighthouse, the gypsy bringing a pie the size of the palm of a hand. She took out a flask, cut open the pie, and poured in a black powder that looked like pepper. Then, the pie sealed itself up. "One bite of this pie," she said. "And you'll go back to the day you regret the most to fix your mistake." |
| Nick hesitated. This all seemed almost like the old gypsy woman was playing a cruel joke on him. But, he thought, what the hell? It can't hurt. Taking the pie in his hand, he tossed it into his mouth, and chewed before swallowing it whole. Immediately, he began to feel dizzy, as though the very ground beneath him was spinning faster and faster. He also felt rather sleepy, and began to lose consciousness. The last thing heard before passing out was the gypsy saying "Good luck. And be sure to make the most of your second chance. Not many people get one." Everything went black. When he woke up, he was astonished to see his body was now back to its skinnier, younger self! Whatever that gypsy had put into the pie, it had really worked! Looking around, he recognized where he stood as where he had decided to take a nap in the middle of that race so many years ago! He definitely wasn't going to make that same mistake again. He took off towards the finish line as fast as his feet could carry him. Which was pretty quick, being his younger self again. "I'm actually gonna do it!" He said to himself as he saw the finish line up ahead. |
| That was when he tripped on a rock, and face-planted. "Are you sure that winning this race will mean everything?" a voice in his head asked. It was the gypsy. "You could lose something very important." That was when he had a vision of his wife and children. Of them being happy, and then, being gone, as if having faded away, as if they were no longer part of his future. "There is always a cost," the voice said. "Win the race, and you lose them. Lose the race, you keep them." |
| When Nick stood up, he saw the gypsy on the side. "Have you decided to lose or win?" She asked him. Nick turned to see Seymour far behind. "I've got a better idea," he said. He leaned forward and whispered something in her ear. "Very well," she said, pulling a tear-shaped vial out of her dress. In it was a liquid that looked like Coca-Cola. She pulled the cork off and handed it to Nick. With one gulp, he drank the juice until it was empty. Then he began to see nothing but his paws until his eyes were shut. When we awoke, he saw the ceiling of his home on the farm. Looking to his side, he saw Rebecca fast asleep. He heaved himself out of bed and headed to get his shower started. Upon walking past the bathroom mirror, he noticed he was back to his older years, but he was still skinny like he was in his younger years. He looked at the scale in the corner and went to check his weight. Obviously, he was about the same weight as he was in his youth. After he showered up and got dressed, the first thing he did was go downstairs and pick up the phone. He dialed for the operator and waited for an answer. "How can I help you?" She asked. "I'd like to call a Mr. Seymour Tortoise," Nick said. "Checking," the operator said. Nick would pound his foot on the floor at random until the operator was done. "I'm sorry, sir," she told him. "There's no one with the name Seymour Tortoise in our listings." "I knew that," Nick said. "Sorry to waste your time." He hung up and sighed with relief that he had prevented the birth of Seymour by drinking that potion. If Seymour never existed, their race never happened. "I should probably go see the gypsy and have him brought back," he said, reaching for the door. "Nah. It's better this way." |
| "Are you sure?" Came the gypsy's voice "Is it really fair to erase your rival from existence in order to improve your own life?" |
| "Um, tell me, with him not around, what else changed?" Nick asked. "With no Seymor Tortoise, there was no Sampson Tortoise, and thus no Simon Tortoise," the gypsy said. "Specifically, Doctor Simon Tortoise, the one who figures out a cure to a deadly condition that will affect rabbits in a few decades. Without him, you will lose your great-grandchildren, and your line will die." "So, for my family to live, my rival must also live," said Nick. "He must also win the race," said the gypsy. "Winning the race made him open the store. An interest in sports lead Sampson to become a physical therapist, which lead to Simon to study viruses, which leads to him saving the lives of your family." "So, for my family's sake, I must lose," said Nick. "Yep." |
| So, the gypsy provided Nick with a potion. One drink and Nick was back on the day of the race. "You can make it, Seymour," he said as he watch his opponent slowly trod over the hill. When Seymour did come, Nick stepped aside and let him cross the finish line. Upon that happening, Nick found himself back in the present, but he was back to being chubby again. He grabbed the phone and dialed Seymour's number. |
| "Hello?" "Hey, Seymour. It's Nick." "Oh, hey! How are you, Nick? Haven't heard from you in quite a while." "Yeah. So, how's the sports business going?" "Oh, good. I'm actually thinking of opening a new location soon. How's the family? You're up to, what now? Ten kids?' "Twelve, actually. Six boys and six girls." "Really? Wow, I guess it's true what they say about rabbits and reproducing." They both laughed. "So, Seymour...you remember that race we had all those years ago?" "Oh yeah. For what it's worth, I never meant to embarrass you so much. But hey, you still managed to find a good wife and have a beautiful family, right? So I guess it all worked out in the end, huh?" "Yeah. I guess it did." |
| "Well, I got to go," said Seymour. "Sampson is trying to become a physical therapist or something - taking on extra course work and such where biology is concerned. Bound to be a doctor at any rate." "Wish him luck for me," said Nick. He hung up. Things would turn out well, now. The Shepherd and The Wolf "I wish something would happen," said a human woman, as she flung a rock into a hillside pond, shattering her reflection. "I'm just bored." Linda - an 18-year sheepherder, watched over the village's sheep herd. An attractive woman from the left side. On the right side of her face, a different story. A particularly large brand was burned onto her cheek, stating who owned her, among other things. This is because, you see, Linda wasn't even worth the status of a Slave, or a Pet even. She was a Meat Human. Her Master, a bear anthro, believed that was all humans were good for, or for sex, unless they showed a special talent. Linda was good with the sheep her Master owned - a breed that, even the worst of which was worth far more than she was. If something happened to one of them, it was the dinner table for her. That was when she heard something. She turned, and saw a wolf anthro was walking towards her. It was clear that he wasn't from the village. He walked with a staff, his left leg limping from some past injury. He also looked to be around her age. He was also quick enough to get up to her before she figured out what to do. "Anyone own this pond?" he asked. Linda shook her head. "No one." The wolf sat on a nearby stump, got out string and hook, which he applied to the stick. Then, her dug up a worm, which he placed on the hook, and soon, the line was in the water. "You got a name?" the wolf asked. "Linda." "I'm Max," the wolf said. "Know of anyone who might temporarily take on a cripple for short-term work?" "I don't know," said Linda. "My Master might." "Master?" Max asked. He looked at her. "Are you telling me that you're Owned?" "I'm a Meat Human," said Linda. "How long have you been owned?" Max asked, concerned. "And, why were you made a Meat Human? Did you kill someone?" "No," said Linda, puzzled. "I was born to Meat Humans, and thus I was branded a Meat Human." "Linda, owning humans as Slaves, Pets, or Livestock, has been illegal in this country for fifteen years," said Max. "Unless you committed something like murder, you're supposed to have a Declared Free mark on you, among other things. Just who is your Master to just declare you a Meat Human and not set you free?" "He is the Mayor," said Linda. "And, I guess he Owns the Law," said Max. "His brother is the Sheriff of the village," said Linda. "They control everything." "Guess they didn't like what happened as a result of the Royal Decree," said Max. "What Royal Decree?" Linda asked. "Long story short, an Evil Earl tried to kill the Crown Prince while they were out hunting, with the assistance of assassins, almost succeeding," said Max. "However, Feral Humans found him, nursed him back to full health, and, basically, brought him back just as the Prince's funeral was being held. Prince accused the Earl of attempted Regicide, Earl tried to kill him, again. Big fight. Earl threw an axe at the Prince, only for a Feral to push him out of the way, taking the axe in the Prince's place. Prince killed the Earl, checked on the Feral, only, he was dead. As a result, a Royal Decree was made - all humans were to have the same rights as any of the Anthros. In fact, anyone defying that order risks execution." "How do you know of this?" Linda asked. At this, Max pulled out a rather ornate ring. "That Prince is my older half-brother," the wolf said. "He'd be most displeased to hear that this Decree, made to honor the sacrifice of that Feral's life, wasn't being followed." He then jerked on the line, pulling out a large trout. "Hungry?" Linda's stomach growled. Max chuckled. "I'll take that as a 'Yes'." |
| "You there!" Boomed a loud voice. Linda turned around to find her master, Mayor Peter "PB" Burton. He was a bear anthro dressed in a mayoral uniform. He was large for his species. He had won 10 annual pie-eating contests, no doubt. "Sorry, Mayor PB," Linda said. "I was just talking to this-" She turned to Max, but the wolf was gone. "No more lying," Mayor PB warned. "You might blow a fuse." "I know my duties," Linda said. "Is there any chance I could see my family again?" Mayor PB frowned and stared at her. "Excuse me?" He asked. "What did you say?" "I just wanted to know if I could see my family again," Linda said. |
| The Mayor grinned, showing his sharp teeth. "Oh, you'll see them again, alright. See them in the afterlife if you ever dare disobey me or try to run away!" Linda gasped "You don't mean..." PB nodded, his malicious grin widening. "That's right, your family is history! Now, come with me back home. I've still got work for you to do." But instead of following, Linda sank to her knees and burst into tears. "Oh, knock it off!" PB snarled "Before I give you a real reason to cry!" He grabbed her by the wrist and practically dragged her through town back home, before locking her in the basement for the night as punishment for embarrassing him in public with her sobbing. Linda curled up in the corner and tried to sleep, praying that this was all just a bad dream. |
| That was when a mouse popped out from a pouch she had on her. "Wow, and here I thought that Ferals had it rough," the mouse said, scurrying to the floor. "Still, at least they do so of their own free will." The mouse then changed into mouse-sized version of Max, with all his clothes and such. The tiny wolf turned to look at Linda. "Sorry for the Vanishing Act back at the pond, but I couldn't just let you accidentally say that a Royal was in town, lest your Master put on the Stern Step-father Act or something." "So, you heard everything?" Linda asked. "I heard, and I got what he inferred," said Max, as he grew back to his regular size. He then took off his traveling bag, and got out a smoked trout. "Do you still want some? It's cold, but it's still good." Linda nodded. Max got out some plates, placed them on the floor, and placed plenty of fish on both. He then picked up his own. "Enjoy." Linda began to pick up pieces of fish, and ate it, enjoying every bite. When she ate her fill, she set the plate aside. Max soon finished his. "You have questions," he said. "Ask them." "How were you able to turn yourself unto a mouse?" Linda asked. "That's two questions," said Max. "For the first, I made myself small, and then turned myself into a mouse - I'm not good enough to do both at the same time." "And the second?" "A little more complicated, but basically, my father was trying to save his wife from a rather deadly disease," said Max. "The only ones that knew how to cure it was a group of druids. They were willing to do so, but for a fee." "What was the fee?" Linda asked. "Either to have his son marry the druid leader's daughter, and have children with her, which would ruin an agreement that the kingdom had made with another, or he himself could produce the child, out of wedlock," said Max. "So, to save his wife, he fathered me, and has to deal with the fact that not only did he father a bastard, he fathered a bastard that can use magic, to a certain extent." "Is that an issue?" Linda asked. "Being a bastard is bad enough," said Max. "Being someone that can use magic, somehow makes it worse." He tapped his bad leg. "My brother eventually got the crown, and he asked me to travel the lands a few years back, to see if the decree he'd had made, was being followed. Well, someone didn't like that a magic user was in their village, so, they attacked me with a shovel, breaking my leg." "What did you do?" Linda asked. "Well, in self-defense, I shrunk them to the size of a mouse," said Max. "I then grabbed him, and I got a good look at him. Got to admit, I enjoyed having that feeling of having power over him. I told him to either apologize to me, or be forever stuck that size. He was smart enough to apologize. So, I placed a delayed version of the growth spell upon them - they'd be back to normal within a week, but, until then, they'd learn humility. Then, I had to get my leg splinted, and wait for it to heal, meaning I was there when the fool was back to their normal size. They apologized to me again, and I ain't heard anything bad about them since. Once I was good enough to travel, I went on my way. It hasn't been easy, but I think it has been worth it." "So, have you ever eaten human meat?" Linda asked. "Yes," said Max. "It's a funeral option for those who die honorably, or as a means to execute certain criminals." "So, will you be able to help me?" Linda asked. Max looked at her. "I should be able to," he said. "I was able to see that the decree wasn't being followed, as you're not the only enslaved human in the village. The question is if the then-Mayor, back when the decree was made, made it known, or didn't, and if possible, what happened. Of course, if that current fool decided to ignore it, especially since it seems he took power not long after the decree was issued, then what he's doing is a form of Treason. As I've said, all humans, unless found guilty of certain crimes, are to be free." "So, what are you going to do?" Linda asked. Max grinned. "See about getting a temporary job here, one that will allow me to look around," he said. "Now, unless we're alone, like when you're watching the sheep, do not let on that you know me, and never tell anyone about my true identity, not if you want to be free." "I understand," said Linda. "Still, we do this right, you'll be more than welcome to come with me," said Max. "Traveling can get lonely." |
| At that moment, Linda started hearing strange electronic noises. She groaned and grabbed the axe hanging on the wall. She began to chop down the basement door until it came down. She rushed out of the mayor's house and ran down the street. It wasn't long before she came across the mayor brother, Sheriff John Burton. He was older and larger than PB himself. "Hello, Linda," he greeted. "Aren't you a little far from home?" "Sorry," Linda said. "I was just hearing some-" She didn't finish her sentence because she heard those electronic noises again. She lifted John with Herculean strength, carried him to the bridge, tied a rope around his ankle and a heavy rock to the other end, and tossed him into the river. She watched him until he stopped breathing. "What have I done?" She said to herself, realizing she had killed him. |
| "What indeed." Max said as he caught up with her. "What's happening to me!?" Linda exclaimed "I think I know." Max said with increasing concern "Somehow, you've been conditioned to do things you normally wouldn't do under the influence of some sort of brainwashing. Exactly how or when, I can't say for sure." "What will I do?" Linda said, starting to panic "I just murdered the sheriff! They'll butcher me for sure!" "Looking around, Max tried to calm her. "On the bright side, there were no other witnesses. So nobody else knows it was you. Now, I have a plan to help you, and all the other humans in this town. Listen very carefully..." |
| "Alright," said Linda. "I need for you to close your eyes, and slow your breathing," said Max. At this, Linda closed her eyes, and tried to slow her breathing. As she did, she heard a strange, yet familiar sound. It was as if she was laying on the floorboards of the bridge, listening to the river. She opened her eyes, to see Max towering over her. She looked, and saw that everything was bigger. Likewise, she wasn't wearing her clothes. "I'm sorry, but I need to make sure that you won't be a threat to the misguided or the innocent," the wolf said, picking her up, and placing her in a pouch. "Now, for the next part of the plan - why you vanished." The wolf knelt, and the wind blew around them. "Ah, a good enough mixture for the scents," said Max. "What did you do?" Linda asked. "It will smell like the sheriff broke intro the mayor's house, and took you for himself," said Max. He picked up Linda's garments, ripped them, and threw them into the river. "My clothes," the tiny human said. "Trust me - I can get you much better ones as replacements," said Max. "At the very least, they'll think that you're dead." "So, how long will I be the size of a mouse?" Linda asked. "Until either I do the undo spell, or I die, just in case something happens to me between now and then," said Max. "Now, to head to the sheriff's place, and make it look like he ran out of the village." |
| So, the two headed for John's house. It wasn't hard to find because it was the largest in area. John and PB's father was an inventor and John inherited the house after his death. "If you can get me into the house," Max said. "I can resize you." "Deal," Linda said. Max slipped her into a window that was opened a little bit. She then went through a series of obstacles before heading to the front door. Upon reaching it, she managed to unlock the door and let Max in. "Now to hold up my end of the bargain," he said. He resized Linda and she was back in her clothes. "Now we set the house on fire," he said. "And no one will know he was murdered." He started up the oven and grabbed a lighter. He gave it to Linda. The two got busy burning everything they could find. When the house was starting to be burned, the two rapidly dashed out the door, but Linda had cut her armon the way out, but she didn't see any blood. "I wonder why I'm not bleeding," she said to herself. She peeled the "skin" and underneath wasn't flesh and blood, but rather metal rods and wiring. "I wasn't born," she gasped. "I was manufactured." She raced down the street back to PB's house. She headed for his bedroom and grabbed him by the throat. "I'm not human!" She shrieked at him. "I'm a machine!" She ran to the kitchen and came back with a cutting knife. "No, don't do this!" PB protested. "Tell me the truth!" Linda barked. "Tell me or I'll-" She couldn't finish the sentence because she stopped talking correctly. Soon, she stopped moving entirely. "Thanks for shutting her off, Max," said PB. "I don't know what my father was thinking," Max said. "When he gave her free will." "Do you suppose her memory chip was bad?" PB asked. "Probably," Max said. "Do you remember earlier when you called me after the Linda robot asked you about her family? My father built her. She doesn't have a family." "I'm sorry she had to kill your father the night he created her," PB said, putting his arm around the wolf. "If that never happened, then your leg would never have been damaged." "It's okay," Max said. "I'll just take her, remove her chip, replace it with a new one, and she'll be as good as new." PB lifted the Linda robot over his shoulder and ushered Max to his limousine. The two then rode off to Max's house where his father created the Linda robot. Don't miss our next tale from the Anthro Zone, The Headless Bride. At a slumber party, a group of boys and girls Tell scary stories, one of which is the story of the ghost of the Headless Bride. Upon walking through the park to get ice cream, the group comes across details from the story. These could be signs that they're about to come face-to-no-face with the Headless Bride! |
The Headless Bride On the evening before Halloween, a group of friends from school were having a sleepover. Little did they realize, that this would be one sleepover that none of them would ever forget! |
| (Not how I was intending for the story to go.) "Who got the chips?" "Got them." "Soda?" "Got them." "Candy?" "Got it." "What else?" |
| Nathan and his friends sat around a fake campfire in his room. "Since it's almost Halloween," said Violet, a fox who was the most popular in his class. "We'll be telling scary stories. Oliver, you're up." Oliver, a hedgehog, sat up straight and cleared his throat. "It's called 'The Ugly Barnacle'," he said. "Once there was an ugly barnacle. He was so ugly that everyone died. The End." "That's not a scary story," said a skunk named Lilly who wore an air freshener around her neck and a flower crown. "You stole that from SpongeBob." "Okay, I admit it," Oliver said. "I'm no good at telling scary stories." "I believe I know a scary story," Nathan said. "It's about the Headless Bride." |
| "More than a hundred years ago, in this very city, Elizabeth Warren was the heiress of her family's fortune. Naturally, being both rich and beautiful, she had many suitors who wanted to marry her. She turned all of them down, except one." |
| "Was that the one that pulled a gun on her, and said, 'Either you marry me, bitch, or I'll blow your head off.' Of course, she refused him, so he blew her head off, killed her family, killed the pets, the servants, stole everything, and burned the place to the ground," said Lilly. "He then bought the police, the Mob, and he and his family have ran everything since then." |
| "The groom had to hide Elizabeth's headless body. So he waited until nightfall and carried it to the park. Once he was there, he could hear barking. He turned around and noticed a Scotty dog coming. He followed the dog around the park and into the tunnel. Once he reached the other end, he came face-to-face with a golden hook-armed man. Escaping with his life, he reached the lake where he tossed Elizabeth's body in. As he turned to leave, the Scotty dog attacked him and he was mauled to death. Every year on the night before Halloween, Elizabeth's ghost roams the park with her head hidden in a flaming bouquet of flowers while it hums the Wedding March. When you hear the barking of the demon Scotty dog, you'll swear that your head will become one that belongs to the Headless Bride!" |
| A couple of the listeners broke into slow, sarcastic clapping. "Very spooky." Said Violet "I'm shaking with fear." "I'd like to see you do better." Nathan said "Did I mention that it was a true story?" The other participants scoffed "Yeah, sure it is." "No, really! My uncle actually saw the headless bride when he was young!" "Isn't your uncle also known to hit the sauce so heavily, that he's basically pickled himself and if he tries to quit drinking the withdrawal will kill him?" Asked Lily "That's not the point!" Oliver, not wanting the sleepover to devolve into an argument and possibly break up their friendship, said "Well, I don't know about you guys, but I'm feeling in the mood for ice cream. Anyone else up for some?" The others agreed, and they made their way out into the streets. The quickest way to the ice cream parlor was through the city park. The very same park from Nathan's story... |
| On the way back, they began to hear barking coming out of nowhere. On the path in front of them, a Scotty dog wearing a sweater came plodding along the trail. "It's a demon Scotty dog!" Oliver cried. "You call this a demon?" Lilly asked. "No demon could be this adorable." "It's a demon Scotty dog!" Oliver repeated. "We're about to come across the Headless Bride!" "There is no way we're going to come across the Headless Bride," said a nerdy raccoon named Melvin. Lilly continued playing with the dog and gave it a hug. "We should probably find your owner," she said. "You can't be a stray. You do have a collar." "Bad idea," Oliver panicked. "It's a demon Scotty dog!" "Give it a rest, Oliver," Violet said. So it was decided. Lilly scooped up the dog and carried him as the group continued their way home. |
| The wind began to blow as they made their way across the park, sending a chill through their bodies. "This is a really bad Idea." Oliver said, his teeth chattering. "Will you relax?" Violet said, annoyed. "It was just a story. There's no such thing as the headless bride!" That was when they heard it. A low, faint tune slowly getting louder, of someone humming the wedding march. "Nathan, know that off."Lily said. "It's not me!" Nathan said defensively. They heard footsteps approaching them from behind. Turning, they saw it. A headless figure in a blood splattered wedding dress, holding a bouquet. It was the ghost of Elizabeth Warren! |
| "Anyone know where my murderer's grave is?" they asked. "I want to ruin it." |
| Oliver, of course, was so scared of the Headless Bride, he ran for his life until he hid in the tunnel to catch his breath. "I just need to-" He said. He heard a rustling sound nearby and jumped up in fear. He headed for the end of the tunnel when a mysterious figure stepped out in front of him. "The golden hook-armed man!" He shrieked. He ran for his life to avoid being attacked by the golden hook-armed man. |
| Meanwhile, everybody else stayed where they were, fascinated by the sight of a real ghost. "You're not going to hurt us, are you?" Lily asked "No, of course not." The Headless Bride said. "How are you talking to us if you have no mouth?" Nathan asked. "Try not to think about it too much." The ghost said "Now, you wouldn't happen to know where the grave of my murderer is, would you?" The group shook their heads. "Sorry, we don't know." The ghost sighed. "Damn. I've wandered this park for the last hundred years, unable to move on. I'd like to at least get some payback." This gave Nathan an idea. "Maybe we could help you. To move on to the afterlife, I mean. Maybe your remains just need a proper burial. Do you know where your body is?" "Not exactly, no." The ghost replied. "I know it was somewhere in the lake." The group groaned. "I don't suppose anyone knows where we could rent a boat and scuba gear at this time of night?" Violet said sarcastically. |
| Oliver came rushing up to the group, huffing and puffing. "I just came across the golden hook-armed man," he said in between breaths. "Seriously?" Melvin said. The rest of the group shook their heads at Oliver. "Now, if you can find me a proper grave," the ghost said. "I can move on. One of you must go to the bottom of the lake where my body is to fetch my remains." The group looked at Oliver. They knew he was the best swimmer in their class. "Oh, no, I'm not going to do it," he said. "This is all a trick. I could die in the lake!" The group continued glaring at him. "Okay, fine!" He said. When they got to the lake, Oliver jumped in to fetch the remains of Elizabeth Warren. After a few minutes, he didn't surface. "All right, where is he?!?" Violet demanded. The ghost was about to answer when- "Cut!" A voice called. "Cut! Print that!" |
| "Okay everybody, break that's it for today!" The director called. Oliver popped up from under the water, gasping for air. "Finally! How long were you going to leave me down there?" The actors all left the set after another day of shooting, preparing to head home for the night. Victoria, after having gotten out of her headless bride costume and make up, approached the director before leaving and said "So, boss, I noticed in the script that there was nos scene after the one we just filmed. What gives?"The director couldn't help but blush, somewhat embarrassed. "Well, to be honest, I'm kind of making the story up as I go. I'll see if I can think of something tonight." Victoria chuckled "I'm sure you will." Romulus and Julie Anne Two packs both alike in ferocity, in fair Nocturnal where we lay our scene, a realm of perpetual twilight. The Alpha's of both these packs, both bonded by their hatred of each other, have feuded for so long that nobody remembers how it even began. We begin our tale as five of the Moon Pack are out on a hunt, their prey squarely in their sights... The deer knelt to drink from a flowing crystal clear stream, completely unaware it was being watched. And stalked. From the nearby treeline, five of the Moon Pack prepared to pounce. When suddenly, a long and loud howl shattered the silence! The deer immediately ran off, as one of the hunting party swore loudly. "Which one of you did that?" He demanded. His companions all denied having spooked their prey. Then from across the stream came five other werewolves, laughing like hyenas. "You just cost us dinner!" The head of the Moon party growled. The other pack, known as the Claws, only laughed harder. "It's not like you really needed it!" One jeered "You look like you've had more than enough food to last a month in the last week!" This insult led to the two groups attacking each other, slashing and biting and wrestling with each other right there in the creek. |
| That was when the sound of a gunshot was heard. All the werewolves stopped fighting, their superficial injuries starting to heal as they looked. There was a human with a shotgun, their firearm, once pointing up in the air, was now carefully leveled at them. The human's eyes had a coldness in them, colder than ice on a freezing winter night. He was wearing a vest made of buckskin. The werewolves all shivered in fear. There were stories about this human, stories about his actions during the Were War. It was said that he had a necklace made from the teeth of those who had fought against him when the Masters had ruled, trying to claim that humans were nothing more than pets, slaves, and livestock. This human, among others, had fought back, and as a result, had overthrown the Masters, with many Masters and their supporters being put to death. "What are you ten doing on my property?" the human demanded. "I've given none of you permission to be here!" "Well, you see here..." "We were just having some fun." "Yeah, we just lost a deer we'd been tracking and...." "Decided to do some wrestling to burn off the extra energy.." The human's eyes shifted between the two groups' leaders, who were busy trying to spit out this joint story-lie. "You're telling me that, during the night, you were hunting a deer, not keeping track of whose property you were hunting on, and, having lost said deer, you decided to have a wrestling match in the creek on some unknown person's property?" the human asked. The werewolves all nodded. "Well, because of your actions, you spooked my cattle, along with the rest of my livestock, and they busted my fence, escaping," the human said. "Now, it would be a very good idea for you to help me find them, herd them back into the pasture, as well as help repair my fence, or, I'll go to your fathers, tell them of your misdeeds, and you'll be lucky if you just get grounded, because if you have part-time jobs, I'll tell your bosses what you did - most of you work in places that benefit from working with folks like me - your bosses won't be too happy to hear how you messed with their supplier of fresh milk, eggs, and meat. Also, I might tell the police - that's a fine, if you're lucky, for the trespassing, and one for bothering livestock with the noise, although that might be more of a Department of Agriculture thing. Then there's the DEC - Fish and Game, who might want to hear about your night-time hunt - it's easily 11PM, two hours after hunting hours are over, which is seen as poaching, meaning you'd lose your hunting privileges." The werewolves looked at one another. "We'll help you," the leader of the Moon group said. "As will we," said the leader of the Claws. "Good, because I will be having a chat with your parents," the human said. "The question you must ask is this: Is Mr. Johnson going to tell mother and father that I trespassed onto his property to poach deer and startled his livestock into breaking out, or will he say that something startled his livestock to the point that they broke out and I volunteered to help him find them?" The werewolves looked at each other. "We understand," the leaders said, at the same time. "Good," said Mr. Johnson. "I expect you all to work together to find them. Now, get looking!" At this, the werewolves quickly took off. "Why are we helping this farmer locate his cattle?" a young werewolf asked. "I mean, I've heard that he's a veteran of the war, and that he killed some Weres, but that's no real reason to be scared of them, right?" "It isn't that he killed them, it's how he killed them," said the leader of the Moons. "Yeah, my old man says that Mr. Johnson caught one of the local leaders of the Masters in this area, a weredeer, chopped off his arms and legs, then, he skinned him, before chopping the buck's head off," said the leader of the Claws. "Then, he turned that guy's hide into a vest - the very vest he was wearing." "Are you sure about that?" the young werewolf asked. "My mother saw him do it," said the leader of the Moons. "Makes me glad mother didn't support the Masters." "Same with my old man," said the leader of the Claws. |
| Meanwhile, at the Romulus residence, Cody, who had turned 18, was ready for the day he'd run with the pack for the first time. "Yay! I'm the greatest leader the pack's ever had!" He said in his sleep. "Cody! It's time to get up!" His mom called from downstairs. Cody woke up, posing next to a poster of his hero, Thundersnout, the leader of the Moon Pack's hunting parties. "I'm coming!" Cody called. He climbed out of bed, still in his pajamas (which he still had from when he was 8, no doubt. They wouldn't fit him, you know). "Happy birthday, Cody!" His parents and grandparents cheered when he came downstairs. Of course, according to the law of the Moon Pack, when a werewolf turned 18, they would run with the hunting group for the first time. The most vital requirement of all was that a werewolf had to weigh 150 pounds or more. Let's just say Cody didn't reach the weight limit. We'll get to that after we focus on Cody at breakfast and after a shower, okay? |
| Romulus, son of the Moon pack Alpha, reluctantly attended a gathering of the other packs later that night. The meeting was held in a clearing considered sacred to the were folk, and thus was neutral ground. No fighting or bloodshed of any kind was allowed. Also in attendance was Julie Anne, daughter of the Claws pack alpha. Both of their fathers had more or less forced them to come along. As the eldest children of both pack Alphas, they were to be the rightful successors to their father's positions. So, their parents decided they had to start learning to be leaders by attending regular meetings with the other alphas. Though their respective packs were sworn enemies for who knows whatever reasons, it was at this meeting that the two young werewolves were destined to meet. And ultimately fall in love. |
| The Alphas of the Moon and Claws soon met. "I hear that your son had to do some work for Mr. Johnson," the one said. "Heard the same about yours," the other said. "Had to find his cattle and fix his fence." "It's what I heard." The two werewolves shuddered. "Could of been worse." "I agree." "Remember when he-" "Yep." "You don't mess with that human." "Not unless you want to end up dead." The two looked at each other. "You know, I've been doing some thinking." "About what?" "We should bury the hatchet." The second werewolf looked at the first, and sighed. "You might have a point. What you did to my brother, was because of War." "Likewise, what you did to my sister." "They were fools to support the Masters. It was me or her by the way." "Same with me and your brother - me or him." |
| Of course, since a werewolf was supposed to be muscular, Cody Romulus was the exception since he was so skinny. He was the youngest son of the Moon Pack's alpha, by the way. His older brother, who was supposed to be their father's successor, was wolfnapped by hunters and sold into slavery to Mr. Johnson until he was killed. As for Julie Anne, every suitor her father, the alpha of the Claws, wasn't impressive enough for her. She was rather picky about suitors. That night, the two werewolves were about to meet for the first time at the clearing. At the gathering of the packs, the alphas began to chat with each other while Julie Anne had locked eyes with Cody Romulus for the first time. "Hello?" They said to each other nervously. "So your father's the alpha?" Julie Anne asked Cody. "Yep, my brother was supposed to be his successor," Cody said. "But he died." "From the looks of you," Julie Anne said. "I don't look like hunting material, but that doesn't matter to me." Cody didn't want to think about after showering this morning where he checked his weight to see if he had hit the 150 pound minimum to join the hunting group, but the scale stopped at 120 pounds, much to his chagrin. |
| The two of them began chatting back and forth, eventually deciding to lay down together under a tree outside the clearing on a nearby hill, watching the stars together. "They're beautiful, aren't they?" Julie Anne said. "I've seen better." Romulus said, and Julie Anne looked at him confused "Like what?" "You, for instance." Romulus didn't know what possessed him to say that, but too late, it was already out there. He almost half expected Julie Anne to slap him silly for coming onto her like that. But instead, she smiled and kissed him. "You're not bad looking yourself." Shocked at the sudden kiss, Romulus sat still for several moments as his brain tried to process what had just happened. "Never been kissed before?" Julie Anne giggled. Just then there was an angry growl, and a voice said "Get away from her, now!" They turned to see Julie Anne's cousin, Tyson, a large muscular wolf approaching them. "Relax, Tyson, this is none of your concern." Julie Anne said. But Tyson only growled more "It is my concern when a member of my pack is being seduced by one of our enemies. He's one of the Moons, you know! I will not stand for this!" He tackled Romulus and the two of them went rolling down the hill, biting and scratching each other all the way down as Julie Anne called after them to stop. |
| (To clarify things - the Masters were the ones who engaged in enslaving humans, not Weres. Mr. Johnson fought against the Masters.) That was when a gunshot was heard, followed by the two werewolves howling in pain, as they separated, although Tyson seemed to be in more pain. Romulus, it was less, but still painful. The three looked, to see Mr. Johnson walking up to the two fighters, a double-barrel shotgun in hand. "Be grateful that was just rock salt," he said, at ten feet away. "The other barrel has one with silver buckshot. Now, incase you haven't gotten to it in biology, injuries caused by silver don't heal up too easily unless you eat a big meal, and even then, you'll have issues the rest of your life. Now, I let your families use this unused field of mine to have your parties, with a simple rule - no violence." He looked at Tyson. "Piece of advice - never start a fight where cameras are around, such as the 'No Trespassing' sign I have, which has more than one for daytime and nighttime purposes. I saw you start the fight, so I'm telling you to leave my property. If you don't leave of your own free will, then you'll never be allowed back on it." Tyson looked at the human, and their vest, and then the shotgun. He began walking away, painfully. "Smart one," Mr. Johnson said, after a while, opening his shotgun, taking out the empty shell, and putting in a fresh one. "Is that other shell really filled with silver buckshot?" Julie Anne asked. "Nope, more rock salt," said Mr. Johnson. "Now, the handgun I have on my waist, that has silver rounds." He looked at Romulus. "Take a quick swim in the creek - it will wash what small amount of salt that you were hit with off." "Thank you, Mr. Johnson," said Romulus. "I wouldn't be too quick to thank me, pup," said Mr. Johnson. "You made enough noise to bother some of my livestock. Chickens and ducks don't rest easy when bothered. Come morning, I expect to see you here, unless you got a job or school, or something, in which case, you come after that's done." "I understand," said Romulus. "Good," said Mr. Johnson. "Now, go and enjoy the rest of the party - sounds like a good one." |
| The next morning, Cody Romulus was awakened to the sound of his alarm. He dragged himself out of bed and got dressed. "Good morning, Mom and Dad," he mumbled sleepily. As he walked to Mr. Johnson's house, he began to think of Julie Anne. "Good morning, pup," Mr. Johnson said upon seeing him. "I expect you washed off the rock salt scent?" "Yes, I have," Cody said. "If you have anything you want me to do," Mr. Johnson said. "I need you to tend to some of my livestock." "I was wondering if I could be with Julie Anne and we'd get married," Cody said. "Tend to my cattle and crops while I tend to my sheep and other livestock," said Mr. Johnson. "I'll see what I can do." |
| Meanwhile, Tyson, having healed from his wounds, told his pack alpha about Romulus and Julie Anne's little liaison the previous night. "We can't allow this!" Said Tyson "the Moons are our sworn enemies!" "Not anymore." Said The Claw Alpha "We made peace with them just last night. But even so, I don't believe that this Romulus kid is a fit mate for Julie Anne. Thank you for telling me, Tyson. I'll be sure to have a word with her later." |
| A few hours later, Mr. Johnson came back over, and chuckled as he looked at Romulus. "Get your tail over here," he said. "Time to have some food." "Yes, Mr. Johnson," the werewolf said, as he walked over, seeming to be out of breath. Mr. Johnson signaled to a few of the farm hands. "They'll take over for a while - looks like you spent more time chasing after them instead of simply herding them to good grazing and drinking areas. Try to not do that - messes with the milk." "So, what was I supposed to do?" Romulus asked. "Walking behind them while singing a calm melody helps," said Mr. Johnson. "Now, come along." Soon enough, they were at the house, where Mr. Johnson got out an assortment of meats. "Got any preferences? Beef, pork, chicken, venison, lamb? Or, are you more into fish?" "I'm not too picky," said Romulus. "I'll start with the beef steak." "Now, do you want it raw, with a light sear, or are you one of those who enjoys cooked meat?" "Um, a light sear." "Alright," said Mr. Johnson. "My daughter-in-law enjoyed a light sear on hers." "I didn't know that humans enjoyed raw-ish meat," said Romulus. "She was a weretiger," said Mr. Johnson. "Her family were what I'd call Good Weres. Didn't see humans as food, pets, or slaves, at least, not in the way of the Masters. She and my Thomas had a rather special relationship - he was more than a mere servant/ sex-slave to her. In her eyes, he was a person - not property. I never worried whenever he entered her room, or she his. There were places that I'd worry about entering a room, and fear that I'd not leave the same way, if not for the fact that it would be a bad idea to anger my owner." "Wait - you were a slave?" Romulus asked. "I might show you those markings one day," said Mr. Johnson. "Just know that I wasn't always the dreaded Were Skinner Johnson that some call me behind my back. My master was a good one - never abused me or the others he owned, never tried to separate families, and he never killed a human without a good reason. If you were just having a bad day, he'd understand - I remember one person - William - he'd been bought from an exceptionally abusive owner - that old owner had eaten the guy's brother - and he was angry about it. First night, William had broken into the tool shed, grabbed an axe, and tried to run, only for Mr. Stripes to ask, 'What are you going to do, William? Kill your old master for killing your brother? You'd end up dead.' William was like, 'So, what do I do?' Mr. Stripes said, 'Your old master is on the brink of financial ruin. He owes a lot of folks I know a lot of money. You can sit back, and watch him starve to death.' Next day, Mr. Stripes had a chat with these people, and they all called in their debts - fool was forced to sell everything, including the humans he owned - Mr. Stripes even picked out what was left of William's family - William was very grateful for that." "So, what happened?" Romulus asked. Mr. Johnson sighed. "I did not know that my daughter-in-law - and I'll call her that - was involved with the Resistance, along with my son. They'd shelter the fighters in the place she owned, give them information about troop movements and such. Then, one day, someone found out - the Masters were told, and then -" Mr. Johnson shuddered. "I always expected to be eaten one day, that I'd suffer a bad accident, or get an illness, that made life impossible, and that Mr. Stripes would end my suffering quickly, and have me served up real nice - bourbon glaze with onions and mushrooms - bury my bones in the garden, add some special fertilizer a day or two later, and pour some really good homebrewed liquor over them. I expected my son to be there, say something nice for me, because that's the way things were. I did not expect to bury my son, his wife, or bury my master and the rest of his family, or the other slaves - although the burying was more the sprinkling of dirt over where the Masters had decided to shit them out. I escaped the fate of them because I was out on the woods my master owned, felling some rotten trees for firewood." "Was that when you became the Were Skinner?" Romulus asked. "No, but you're not too far off from when," said Mr. Johnson. "There was a lot of folks who respected Mr. Stripes, and most agreed that the Masters had gone too far with what they'd done - the total extermination of the household. If it had merely been my son and his wife - they might have let it go as punishment against a rebel and the slave that was helping her - but there were children involved in the mass murder, ones that were Weres. However, folks were too afraid. As for me, my grief turned to anger, which mixed with determination. I had nothing to lose, and a person with nothing to lose is the most dangerous sort, because you can't tell them to think about their family's fate if they die and make them think about their actions. My family was dead, and I wouldn't mind dying if it meant being with them." Romulus gulped. "So, what happened?" "I found out who ordered the killings, and I had an axe, and a bunch of forestry tools," said Mr. Johnson. "No one sees a slave, even one with those sorts of things, if they look like they are going about on a regular task, and for me, that was always dealing with the trees in the nearby forest, one where the Master in charge of the area, a weredeer, lived next to. Guess he never realized that I belonged to Mr. Stripes. I took his minions out, one by one. Then, I took him from his bedroom, dragged him out to the town square, and then, in front of everyone I - well, I'm sure that you can guess the rest." "Did the rest of the town join you in the Resistance?" Romulus asked. "No, not at first," said Mr. Johnson. "The Masters sent troops first, to hunt me down, failing to do so. Well, one day, in a bout of foolishness, some soldiers got drunk, some pissed-off teenagers threw stuff at them, shots were fired, and things snowballed from there. Someone had to step in to stop the bloodshed, and that was me, wearing that buck's hide as a vest, and I was armed with my master's old hunting shotgun, the one you saw me with last night. On that day, it wasn't rock salt - I took the commander hostage, told him to get his troops under control, or I'd blow his head off. He saw that I wasn't bluffing. He did so. I then told him to tell the troops to leave. He did so, and they did leave. Next day, Resistance showed up in force, asked who was the local Resistance leader, and I got nominated." "That's quite the story," said Romulus. "Yeah, well, it never brought my family back to life," said Mr. Johnson. |
| Later that night, Julie Anne was beginning to fill her mind with thoughts of Cody Romulus. She was starting to draw him a picture when her father grabbed the pencil from her and snapped it in half. "You have deliberately disobeyed me," he said. "We Claws mustn't mate with Moons. It's strictly forbidden!" "We may be different," Julie Anne said. "But that doesn't mean we can't unite the packs." "Silence!" The Alpha barked. "Our code must never be broken. Do you remember what that code is?" Julie Anne raised her head up to face father, but scoffed. "You know what?" She said. "I think the code has been giving us nothing but trouble! I think the pack would be happier with out it!" "You dare question the pack?" The alpha snarled. "If I were to kill the Moon alpha's son to get you to understand, then so be it!" He was about to strike when- BOOM! A bullet of silver shot him in the chest. He fell to the ground, dead as a door nail. "The alpha's been shot!" A werewolf announced. In no time at all, the Moons and the Claws were all at each other's throats, but Mr. Johnson began killing each of them one by one. Only Cody and Julie Anne were the sole survivors of their respective packs. "I wanted to tell you," she told Cody. "I told Mr. Johnson I wanted to be with you, so I made a deal with him." "I did the same thing," Cody said. "Actually, my name isn't Mr. Johnson," the human said. "I'm the bad side of every werewolf's conscience who tells them to do bad things." The two werewolves chased after him in anger, muttering things like, "You won't get away with this!" Don't miss our next tale from the Anthro Zone, Hairy, Hairy, Quite Contrary. At his high school reunion, Richard proposes to his lifelong girlfriend, Kim. But, on their wedding day, Kim doesn't show up and her family's acting like she never existed. Even worse, Richard starts to grow thick fur all over his body, everyone else from his high school reunion starts to disappear, and he may be next. Find out what will happen in our tale from the Anthro Zone, Hairy, Hairy, Quite Contrary. |
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