Chapter 14

I go into my bedroom and grab my clothing I had pulled out
last night to wear to work today, and then I go to get into
the shower. This is kind of nice to have the extra time to
not have to rush around and I have some time to do some things
that I would have to normally do when I got home from work.
Plus, I can take my time and get ready for work. But that
does not mean this girl is going to be setting her alarm early
so that I can do this every day, fuck that. It is nice for a
change, you know one of those things that you don't plan on
happening but when it does it is nice, and you enjoy it, but
you wouldn't want to have to do it all the time.
I come out of the bathroom and see that I still have about a
half an hour until I need to leave, so I grab myself another
cup of coffee, and fill my travel mug with the rest. I go
over and decide to turn on the local news, that is another
thing I tend to steer clear of. I am all for the television
shows that are made from news, but I do not like watching the
news it is downright depressing. I mean seriously how often
do you see happy things on the news? The only happy things
that I remember ever seeing on the news, was broadcasted on
the local tv station in my area. They show on a weekly basis
animals from local shelters that are up for adoption. But
even that is kind of sad, because what if no one adopts them?
In my defense, true the television shows are based on true
crime stories that did indeed happen as news at some point in
time. But they happened they are not currently happening like
what is on the news or in the newspaper. I don’t know I guess
I find it easier because they are already solved and happened
in the past it makes it a little easier for me to watch. Well
that's my defense and I am sticking to it I think to myself.
I truly am a mess, these thoughts and little arguments and
debates I have inside my head. The conversations with either
myself or with the enemy are they even normal? Hell, I have
no clue, but I do know one thing for sure, I am not about to
go to the doctor and ask that question. I don't want them to

say, “oh of course it is”. Then they use some secret code
with the nurse who sneaks out of the room and is back in an
instant with the pretty white jacket with straps. No thank
you. I made it this far without trying one of those on and I
really am planning on steering clear of ever having to.
I sit on the couch and finish up my coffee and I say to
Brandi, "enough of this, I can't take anymore killings, and
robberies and car crashes. I am going to leave a few minutes
early and enjoy my drive in." I grab my things and head out,
I think to myself that this is a smart idea, it isn't my car
and I know how my drive to work normally is. I really don't
need to risk wrecking the rental car that Mr. Davenport's
insurance is so kindly paying for. I am not a person who
obeys speed limits, I am not a careless driver, but I am a
fast driver. Of course, I have a defense here too. My
defense for speeding is this, “it is harder to hit a moving
object, so the faster I go the harder it is to catch me and
hit me”. Case in point, I was stopped at a red light when
Warren hit me.
I so far have a good driving record, I always remain on alert
for all the other idiots driving out there. That's another
thing too, why in the world do they call it road rage? I am
sorry I have nothing against the road it's the assholes
driving on the road, so in my book it's called asshole rage.
I mean seriously doesn’t asshole rage have a better ring to
it.
The ride in this morning was actually very nice, even though
the sun isn't out. I got to hear at least two of my favorite
songs on the radio, which I realize I haven't done in a while.
Now I am thinking that is because I am probably too tightly
wound on my drives to even be noticing what is being played on
the radio. Wow, I think why I am just now noticing all these
things that I don't remember noticing before. This is just
getting very strange, and it is beginning to worry me that
maybe I should make that doctor's appointment sooner rather
than later. Oh well, let's see how I am feeling in about a
week or so, I will probably be back to my normal self again.

I park the car and walk into work. Of course, I am the first
one there, I like it when I'm the first one in. It gives me
time to build myself up to be my public Sophie. You know that
my being friendly to some people I must face at work 5 days a
week really doesn’t come too easy for me. There are a few
here that it takes all my practice at being nice and sociable
while inside I am wanting so badly to just punch them in the
face and just tell them that I'm sorry there was a bug. Then
just walk away like nothing happened. Oh, that would feel so
much better, be much easier and come naturally than having to
pretend they are your friend.