Modern Life

Modern Life

I don’t know about you, but modern life is beginning to get to me. I know, you’re probably thinking that this is one of those ‘good ole days’ people reminiscing about, well, the good ole days. Not so!

See, I’ve been around for a while and recently I’ve begun to notice something. Now I can’t imagine that no one else has noticed this but maybe, just maybe, I’m the only one on planet Earth who thinks this way. So here’s the deal.

Lately, I’ve been noticing that the news headlines are repeating themselves. No, I’m not saying that CNN or Headline News is reporting the same thing every 5 minutes. It doesn’t take a genius, or rather, a planet Earth weirdo, to
notice that. What I’m talking about is the fact that the headlines I’m seeing today are the same as the ones I watched about 10 years ago. In fact, they are the same as the ones I saw 20 years and 30 years ago!

You know what I mean. The economy sucks, various politicians are corrupt, others are involved in some kind of sex scandal, the environment is in a shambles, most states are going broke, there’s another war we’re getting involved in, etc, etc.

Ok, so maybe it’s me. Maybe these things just aren’t the same as they were 10 or 20 years ago. Maybe, just maybe, the politicians are more honest today. Oh, and maybe the economy is just wonderful today. Yes, and that old Monica
Lewinski thing or the Gary Hart thing? Oh, nothing like that has ever happened before. Well, not since the Marylin Monroe thing with Kennedy anyway. Do you see what I mean or am I just being paranoid here?

Now here’s the real question. Who runs the networks anyway? You’d think that the people approving these headlines would at least have some imagination! Or maybe the networks just hire new managers every 8 or 9 years and these new managers really believe that the headlines are real news! Yeah, that must be it!

So now that we’ve seen the problem, maybe it’s time for someone to provide a solution. Ok, I volunteer. I suggest that we just stop reporting anything that has to do with the economy, politics, war, famine, the job situation, state
budgets and the environment. Everything else is fair game as a headline. I do see a problem in this however. If we were to actually do this, the unemployment rate among reporters would skyrocket. Of course if that happened, they’d have to report it and it’d start the whole mess all over again. Oh, wait! Employment, or lack thereof, is not a reportable item! Wow, a fix at last. Yeah, I know; a lot of people actually like that stuff!

So now I must confess something. For the betterment of my health, I really don’t watch much news anymore. After all, I've heard it so many times I know it by heart. In fact, my news diet is limited to about 10 minutes a week and even that is often too much. I can tell when I’ve had too much news because I start getting fat. No, not around the middle, my brain gets fat. You know how it is when you don’t think very much - you kind of get lethargic and you really don’t have any ambition. You become afraid of everything and you’d rather keep
current with those 10-year-old current events than actually get outside and do something.

Guess I’m living in my own little world, but I think you’ve probably already figured that out by now.