my pain

My Pain

When is it too much, to take? When is it never enough? Life is always hard and unbearable, when will it be my time?
Years have gone by and I'm sitting next to a stranger. Where have you gone, sometimes I see a little bit of who you are, but most of the time I just wonder why?
Nine years and we've grown together. In three years I've lost faith in you. I doubt your honesty, sincerity, but never your loyalty.
When will it get better, when I can go back to believing in you? In us?
I'm overwhelmed by you, and your lack of motivation. I just cannot take anymore! Life is hard, but you are making it harder each day. There is a time when I have to count the losses and decide when a fight is just not worth it.
There is so much pain inside, that I've started to doubt myself. No man is ever worth my self doubt.
I'm sad that I'm not enough! I'm sad that our kids are not enough. To give you motivation to succeed! Three years of not helping, contributing, and using the funds that I work so hard for, are coming to a close.
Change is needed! Change is sought! Change is my lifeline.
If only I knew how to start those changes. Against my heart, my head knows we need to go. My heart just will not let me.
My pain! My pain!