An interview with myself. A prime example of why I need to lay off the sugar :) |
About Robyn It takes a special kind of retard to interview his or herself. I believe I fall into that category. From this absolute lunacy I have obtained information about myself. For you. Enjoy. "Hi Robyn." --"Hey there." "Let's get started. Hair colour?” --“Some say blonde, some say brown, a few say red. I prefer the term, ‘retarded combination of all 3.’ That way everyone is happy.” “Indeed… Eye colour?” --“Some say blue, some say turquoise, several say green. They’re blue, ya bastards! HEAR ME??? BLUE!” “That’s great. What about your weight and height?” --“I’m around 5’6, but there is no way in hell I will divulge my weight to you.” “Fair enough… Moving on. What are you’re hobbies?” --“Well, Mary-Ellen—“ “Robyn.” --“What?” “My name. It isn’t Mary-Ellen, it’s Robyn.” --“No way! That’s my name!” “I know, we’re the same person.” --“Get out!” “It’s true. You’re having a severe psychotic episode. I’m you, you’re me… try not to think about it. It boggles the mind.” --“Wow… wait… psychotic episode? Caused by what?” “Drugs.” --“Oh.” “Let’s continue. Any romantic interests?” --“Hee hee hee…. Yeah…” “Are you gonna say who?” --“Hee hee hee… no…” “Fair enough.” --“COUGHjoeyCOUGH” “What?” --“Nothing.” “Ok then… give us a little known fact about yourself.” --“Well, actually, I play the accordion.” “Damn it Robyn, everyone knows that!” --“Really?” “God yes.” --“So it’s not a little known fact?” “Quite the contrary.” --“Oh.” “Alright, let’s wrap this up… where do you see yourself in 10 years?” --“At 26? Hopefully not on welfare… And with any luck not interviewing myself, this is bordering on horror movie here.” “Hey, it’s not my fault you O.D’d on the Nyquill again.” --“Yes it is, you’re me, aren’t you?” “Sure, if you wanna get technical…” --“And another thing, why did you need to ask me all these questions? You’re me, didn’t you already know the answers?” “Hey, look at—Lo-LOOK AT ME!” --“What?” “What do I look like?” --“Me?” “…” --“What?” “Just… just get in the car. We’re going home. Now.” --“But I didn’t come here with you.” “GET IN THE CAR!” --“You’re a bitch.” --“Takes one to know one.” |