Thank you, Asif, for sharing this piece of prose that is so realistic. This work is short, to the point, and very honest.
May I give you an idea? This would be an excellent piece of writing in a longer format, too. Could it be a poem about the emotions experienced in the flood event? Could it be a story about the event of the flood coming, and taking so many things away?
Please, keep to this idea, and give us more. WRITE ON! Welcome!
Love is all of those things, and more. When I was younger, I was taught that love is a choice. That was a good thing, too, because the feelings of love have a short shelf-life. Love must be able to choose to love, honoring the loved one in good times and in bad.
People who are married for many years are not so because they are better at loving than other people are, but because the commitment of love in their hearts continues to love, even with dents and mud stains, showing on the outside.
I have been married to a lady for nearly 40 years. As two responsible adults, I don't have the right to force her to do anything. I have learned how to express disagreement with respect, continuing to love her, even when she chooses not to go my way.
poorwestwood, this seems like a pretty well-written piece, but I have removed one star because of my confusion as to purpose and form.
Your greeting, "Sunshine," and your signature, "Birdie" taken literally seem to mean an affinity for nature. However, it could mean a sarcastic Cupid is talking with a human, or two humans are having a relationship of some sort. Of course, you used the word, "lyricist," which means a song writer.
Is this a free form poem? Or is it a piece of prose? I'm sorry. There seems to be a depth of meaning that I can't grasp. However, WRITE ON!
Three verses tell all the maladies of life without The Lord Jesus as your backbone. The final verse tells of the good reason you are glad, that the Lord Jesus is your backbone.
I can say a strong, "Amen!" to all of these things.
1. Without Jesus as my backbone, I am "isolated" and lonely.
2. Without Jesus as my backbone, I would be "weak" and "unable to stand" as an utter "failure".
3. Without Jesus as my backbone, I would be "lost."
4. With Jesus as my backbone, there is "contentment", "victory", and "His Honor".
"Thank you, Lord, for all the good You have brought to my life. In this, I agree with Sam." Thank you, Sam, for penning this poem. We are so grateful to the Lord for the Joy we share in Christ.
WriteWithJanney, modern work is "walking the tightrope between tradition and
innovation." Well said. I'm grateful you've pointed out the need for human interaction, not giving over completely to technology.
As a Baby-Boomer, I've seen progress virtually remove from history many of the tools I used as a youth. For instance, digital photography can never fully replace the quality of images captured with film.
Though I've learned to work with tech, I pray we never lose our humanity, and the creativity, that comes with it.
Nicely done, Dan, given the constraints of the sadistic Sparrow. Your two hemistiches are well-chosen and completely understood. Some of the forms we are learning from Dr. Dave are indeed "brain-busters." However, in this case, you have no worries, Sir. You created the form flawlessly. WRITE ON! Jay
Welp, I must say, "This is not my usual piece to review." However, I shall sally forth to address a few positive items, since redress would be my first hope for Father Christmas.
The form is good, technically speaking. Six quatrains of a-b-c-b rhyme scheme with tetrameter/trimeter couplets of mixed iambic and anapestic rhythms. Although the forms in the content were a bit much.
My year-round love of Christmas was challenged herein, being that your concept was quite clear. Must binge on Christmas music today, and if I had time, Christmas movies to cleanse the palate. (shudder...) (Half a star removed purely for content.)
I shall look twice next time I see your name next to a Christmas poem title.
Excellent poem, H. M. Marie! I like the concept of connecting haikus to create a larger poem.
We have something in common. My home state of Georgia in the US is noted for growing peaches. Peach trees can endure the extreme heat of summer and the freezing temperatures of winter in The South.
You maintained the 5-7-5 syllables of haiku structure, while amending the style slightly to tell the bigger story. You deal with some sadness early on, finishing on the positive note of a smile.
Words, this is an excellent form poem that emphasizes form. Wonderful imagery of April, the month of beautiful growing things.
Since I don't see a rhyme scheme or rhythmic pattern (syllabic form), I believe we have a free verse poem that was molded much like one molds a pottery bowl. Your word choices are a nice mix of extensive vocabulary and playfulness.
Thanks for sharing. You accomplished your purpose. Your poem looks like a rain cloud.
Amethyst Angel, I like this very much. I’m invested in the characters. I want to learn more. In fact, you’re “reading my mail.” I have the same sorts of questions, that your characters do. How can we share the Gospel in an impersonal world?
I think you should write more because this is a great story. Blessings Always. WRITE ON!
Nicely done, Amethyst Angel. I wrote a poem yesterday with a similar theme. Don't know which came first, yours or mine, but I don't guess it matters, since amazing minds think alike.
You maintained your stated rhythm quite well throughout the poem. Unrhymed was also kept in place, and the theme was the focus of your every line.
Relationships are a challenge, horizontally with our fellowmen, and vertically with the Lord. The challenge you underscored in the first four verses. The solution was joyfully displayed in the last verse.
Excellent poetry. You spoke a good word for the Lord. Thank you for sharing this. WRITE ON!
Well-written with an a-a-a-a rhyme scheme, and modified iambic heptameter. As advertised, your thoughts are pretty much all over the place, covering myriad social ills and political concerns, including finding some way to be centrist in order to get elected. Not much has changed through the years in that regard. Your poems are as this one, filled with meaning, and full of excellent words. WRITE ON!
Thank you for sharing your poem of five couplets, filled with deep and hidden meaning, Spiritual dawning. The first two couplets do not rhyme, but the last three do. Interesting choice of form.
This poem will require time to contemplate.
Who is crying? I'll assume it is the writer, you.
Who is "a special lady born"? What pain does she need to have released?
These are all most intriguing things to consider. I may think I have an answer, but ultimately, you may have to fill in the details.
Excellent poem, Dan I Am. Perfectly done form. Great sentiments of encouragement to us writers. We do write for satisfaction and for the Gift Points. You have worthy experience and great imagination. Well-done free verse poem, showing your thoughts about the process of writing poetry.
Thank you for the privilege of sharing my review with you.
This is an interesting piece of writing. I see that all of your favorite Disney movies are animated, which gives potential for a higher level of speed and flexibility in the action they can portray.
The numbers help to organize and prioritize the order of favorites. It's nice to learn about your favorite songs from the movies as well.
I noticed that you stated a moral from Wreck-It Ralph. I think that would be nice to know about each one of these movies.
Please, keep writing. You have something important to share with the world.
These song lyrics are filled with such pathos, such pain. It's well-written and obviously has potential in the world of pop tunes. Seven verses, and one bridge. It seems to have a bit of an Alanis Morissette feel to it. Add a little vocal fry, and you have a Top 40 Hit.
So true, Chuck. We try so hard to steel our wits about us while keeping our life secured in the attempt of something just out of our reach, and then...a broken bone, sprained muscle, or terrible belly flop.
We always learn from the experience, but what pain we endure as we're going through it.
Tim, this free-verse poem is a great vehicle for describing Election 2020.
"Animus," "sloshy," "frothy calamity," and "chaos" are all excellent descriptors for the mélange that was the societal discomfort of 2020 as seen in that year's Presidential Election.
With your couplet,
"To ensure predictability
And economic improvement"
you have identified the goal of leadership, regardless of Party.
Considering your first line, your last line, "And eternal modesty" appears to a humorous poke, birthed of wry wit.
This poem is filled with pathos and an excellent ability to get your point across in relatively few lines.
Thank you for this piece, Amethyst Angel. Such a literary postcard, a piece of a larger canvas painted on a gentle evening. "Straight from a painting," as you so eloquently put it.
Your free verse poem is an exploration of the human experience, asking questions we all have to face from time to time.
This poem feels like a sunset meal with a friend, yet she is a friend that any compassionate person would want to help. You have imagined the real reason for "the furrowed brow" could be a range from "existential crisis" to something much more mundane.
Thought-provoking. Thank you for "listening" to me rehash what you already said so well. There is very little I could add. This poem is well-framed, well-written, and well-thought-out. It's easy to see why you placed so well in the contest.
Nicely done, AmyJo. You've met the prompt, handily.
True Love is such a gift, lifelong and emotionally nourishing. You've written about this kind of love with great care.
This free verse poem follows the prescription of Shape, whereby your couplets follow the patterns of contrast for half of them, and parallelism for the other half. King David often followed this form of expression in the Psalms. You're in good company.
The love shared by two partners throughout Life, that is founded on the Love that the Lord gives is a Joy that can't be fully expressed in words.
Blessings Always, Sis, to you and yours. Again, well done! WRITE ON!
Thank you, AnchorHolds925, for this amazing poem regarding the first coming of the Lord Jesus. Being unfamiliar with the dizain, I looked it up just now. You have followed the pattern perfectly, telling the Advent account in such an encouraging way. Thank you for sharing the Good News in your poetry.
The Christmas season is my favorite time of year. What a joy it is to read this on Summer's Christmas Eve, since June 25 is the exact opposite of Christmas! This means that starting tomorrow, we will begin moving back in the direction of Christmas 2025.
Blessings Always! Welcome aboard to WDC, since I see that you joined earlier this year!
Thank you, Crissa, for this good piece. It's poignant. I relate to the last sentence. As a Christian, I know I have the responsibility of helping people who are being treated poorly.
As a child of the 60's, and a teen of the 70's, I went out of my way to show respect to black people, and to honor women. Both groups had walked through difficulty, and were not being respected in this country the way the Bible declares that they must be respected. (Some would say, there is still change that is needed.)
However, the way you received reverse discrimination, I have felt that my place in Society has been diminished, too. Privileged male? Privileged white person? Maybe on occasion, but certainly not full-time.
Obviously, your piece is well-written and has sparked some emotions in me, too. Overall, the Bible enjoins respect for others, regardless of race or gender.
I am only one person, but I will do what I can. You have made a great installment in that department in the writing of this piece of prose.
I'm sorry if I've made this too much about me. I hope my review shows that we are in strong agreement.
Blessings Always!
Jay
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