Hi Schummperman,
This is Agnelo and it’s a great opportunity and my pleasure to read and review your work titled "Poem of Everything" Highlights:
Thanks for sharing your thoughts in the form of a poem. Though you have written this for your country, I guess this is apt for the whole world. Favorites: "we have given up on our religion
no more in god we trust
that seems like a must."
I totally agree on the above. Grammar/Punctuation/Typos:
Would suggest to add a bit punctuation to make the flow better. "there disease" - "there was disease" "god" to "God"
Try to reduce the spacing between lines as it will make it more appealing. Suggestions:
I would like to inform you that, the above review is solely my personal view. I am a humble writer myself and would never be rude or proud to say that my ideas are better than yours.
Hi SLS IMAGEinINK
This is Agnelo and it’s a great opportunity and my pleasure to read and review your work titled "Whispers" Highlights:
A well written personal tribute for your Grandpa! The imagery is very good and every line is loaded with emotions, a sign which greatly tells how much you are missing your grandpa!
The flow is good and easy to read. The rhyme is missing in some stanzas but good wherever applied. Favorites:
The first three stanzas, were my favorite, because with each stanza you have used the "pine", "oak" and the "maple' to beautifully describe the emotions. Well Done! Grammar/Punctuation/Typos:
Nothing that I noticed. Suggestions:
I would like to inform you that, the above review is solely my personal view. I am a humble writer myself and would never be rude or proud to say that my ideas are better than yours.
Hi Lucius,
This is Agnelo and it’s a great opportunity and my pleasure to read and review your work titled "Melancholic days" Highlights:
Nice work and I enjoyed this! The flow was good and the rhyming made it feel good. The imagery was well taken care of and loneliness was well defined with simple words and lines. Favorites: "The echo of my thoughts envelops me.
An abyss of apathy has overtaken my soul.
There is nowhere forward and nowhere to go."
This verse was very good and has strong emotions! Grammar/Punctuation/Typos:
Nothing that I noticed Suggestions:
There are too many lines starting with "I". If you could like to re-consider than it would make this work even better. These are just my thoughts and you would no better
I would like to inform you that, the above review is solely my personal view. I am a humble writer myself and would never be rude or proud to say that my ideas are better than yours.
Hi Mari McKee,
This is Agnelo and it’s a great opportunity and my pleasure to read and review your work titled " Sounds" Highlights:
A nice poem in the romance genre with strong emotions. The flow of the poem was good and made it easy to read and connect.
The imagery was also good. The rhyme was good except in the 3rd verse! Favorites:
"Listen to my whispers
You will hear the winds blow,
From the top of the mountains
I proclaim my love to you below."
This verse is my favorite, great imagery and makes a strong impact overall. Grammar/Punctuation/Typos:
Nothing that I noticed Suggestions:
I would like to inform you that, the above review is solely my personal view. I am a humble writer myself and would never be rude or proud to say that my ideas are better than yours.
Hi thewoodman,
This is Agnelo and it’s a great opportunity and my pleasure to read and review your work titled "Remember When" Highlights:
This was a nice poem to get the reader into the Christmas mood though there is still time. This made me remember my childhood and the Christmas of those times.
The imagery was nice and I could connect to so many things while reading. The rhyming was good and the flow was also nice and easy. Favorites: "Nothing really changes
from Christmas of the past,
except I am alone now.
I never thought it wouldn't last."
I don't know why, but this verse touched my heart. It carries lots of emotions bundled into it. Grammar/Punctuation/Typos:
Nothing that I noticed Suggestions:
I would like to inform you that, the above review is solely my personal view. I am a humble writer myself and would never be rude or proud to say that my ideas are better than yours.
Hi I_am_your_hatred
This is Agnelo and it’s a great opportunity and my pleasure to read and review your work titled "Special K" Highlights:
I appreciate your concern and wish for your brother which you have expressed as a poem. I hope that he reads this so as to know that there is family and friends who still love him. Favorites: "There is so much more that life can give to you,
and you can give to life.
If you just stop for a moment." Grammar/Punctuation/Typos:
"I know your lost and wondering what to do." - change to "you are" "of which your searching for at the end of a line." - delete "of" and change "your" to "you are"
You could have "the" in place of "a"
"And I understand addiction really I do," - I thought a comma after addtiction would do good. Suggestions:
Keep writing more of these
I would like to inform you that, the above review is solely my personal view. I am a humble writer myself and would never be rude or proud to say that my ideas are better than yours.
Hi Beachgirl,
This is Agnelo and it’s a great opportunity and my pleasure to read and review your work titled "Grief is" Highlights:
Very nice. With just four lines, you said so much about grief. I loved the imagery, the thoughts and ofcourse the flow.
Grief is such a thing that sometimes it is too difficult to get rid of it. Favorites:
The last line where in you compare it with "last withered leaves" was my favorite. So light like a leaf but still puts us down! Grammar/Punctuation/Typos:
Nothing that I noticed. Suggestions:
Keep writing more of these.
I would like to inform you that, the above review is solely my personal view. I am a humble writer myself and would never be rude or proud to say that my ideas are better than yours.
Hi Ariel,
This is Agnelo and it’s a great opportunity and my pleasure to read and review your work titled "A Pitter-Patter Thing" Highlights:
A nice poem with good imagery. A free verse but still the flow was good and it was easy to read. Favorites: "But one will not always emerge the victor
For each is his equal
So all must meet his somber end" - Every season has its own beauty and strength. Grammar/Punctuation/Typos: "How short, time seems" - I thought a comma after "short was needed", but then these are must my thoughts and you would know better. Suggestions:
Keep writing more of these
I would like to inform you that, the above review is solely my personal view. I am a humble writer myself and would never be rude or proud to say that my ideas are better than yours.
Hi Emiliya Wolfe,
Welcome to WDC and wishing you a great time here
This is Agnelo and it’s a great opportunity and my pleasure to read and review your work titled "Nocturnal Promenade" Highlights:
A well written piece with good flow, imagery and the rhyme. The repetition of lines has its own effect on the overall work and it feels good while reading.
Favorites:
"With every little twig that breaks
With every noise the forest makes
It makes me shiver, start to shake
But it's a risk I'll have to take"
These lines repeating are my favorite Grammar/Punctuation/Typos:
Nothing that I noticed. Suggestions:
I would like to inform you that, the above review is solely my personal view. I am a humble writer myself and would never be rude or proud to say that my ideas are better than yours.
Hi Rizwana,
Welcome to WDC and wishing you a great time here!
This is Agnelo and it’s a great opportunity and my pleasure to read and review your work titled "Simply Because You're You" Highlights:
This was a nice poem and don't know why, but it brought a smile to my face. You have written this as a free verse but still the flow was good. Simple words made it more beautiful and easy to connect with. Favorites:
"And somewhere in between the lines
I wrote in my soul" I loved this dimension of expressing ones love. Very nice, these are great lines. Grammar/Punctuation/Typos:
Would have preferred to have some punctuation thus making it have still better flow. Suggestions:
I would like to inform you that, the above review is solely my personal view. I am a humble writer myself and would never be rude or proud to say that my ideas are better than yours.
Hi Kym,
This is Agnelo and it’s a great opportunity and my pleasure to read and review your work titled "Paper Heart" Highlights:
This is a well written piece full of emotions for a loved one who is no more. Rememberance is all that is left which brings pain and tears. The title "Paper Heart" aptly suits for the poem and provides the much needed impetus.
The words used are simple and written deep from the heart. Everything is just simple and not exaggerated which makes this piece good to read.
The flow was good and smooth.
The imagery was well taken care of . I noticed a rhyme pattern of a/b/c/b which was perfect except in the first stanza. Favorites:
The last stanza is my favorite, because of the promise it holds of meeting again though this would an eternal heavenly meeting. Grammar/Punctuation/Typos:
Nothing that I noticed Suggestions:
I would like to inform you that, the above review is solely my personal view. I am a humble writer myself and would never be rude or proud to say that my ideas are better than yours.
Hi tonibarri
This is Agnelo and it’s a great opportunity and my pleasure to read and review your work titled "for someone special" Highlights:
A very nicely written poem about that special person who is so loving, caring at all times, even in adversities.
The flow is good with a syllable count of 8 throughout. The rhyming was done exceptionally well. Use of words was good and simple and not overdone. Favorites:
"To give your love, with love to spare" Great line... specially when you say "love to spare". I liked this. Grammar/Punctuation/Typos:
Nothing that I noticed Suggestions:
I would like to inform you that, the above review is solely my personal view. I am a humble writer myself and would never be rude or proud to say that my ideas are better than yours.
Hi Amelia Helen,
Welcome to WDC and wishing you a good time here!
This is Agnelo and it’s a great opportunity and my pleasure to read and review your work titled " Silent Eyes" Highlights:
Emotions indeed...well written with good imagery. excellent flow and great rhyming. Favorites:
"My eyes, they watch, but do not speak,...As the fear inside renders me blind." Grammar/Punctuation/Typos:
Nothing that I noticed. Suggestions:
Keep writing more of these!
I would like to inform you that, the above review is solely my personal view. I am a humble writer myself and would never be rude or proud to say that my ideas are better than yours.
Hi Lina,
This is Agnelo and it’s a great opportunity and my pleasure to read and review your work titled "marriage" Highlights:
Your poetry well defines the meaning of marriage in very simple words and few lines.
You have very well made use of the form to which it is written. Favorites:
"true meaning of bonds
held in love," - Love that holds everything together Grammar/Punctuation/Typos:
Nothing that I noticed Suggestions:
I would like to inform you that, the above review is solely my personal view. I am a humble writer myself and would never be rude or proud to say that my ideas are better than yours.
Hi Helena,
This is Agnelo and it’s a great opportunity and my pleasure to read and review your work titled "maiden Mother" Highlights:
A beautiful poem honoring Mother Mary! The flow was good and the rhyming was nice. Favorites:
I loved all of the poem but a special mention to
"Help of Christians,
You watch from Heaven
Interceding
For those in your care.
Having well lived
This exile we’re living
Your example uplifts
All those who despair." Grammar/Punctuation/Typos:
Nothing that I noticed except to change "his Christians" to "His Christians" Suggestions:
Keep writing more of these!
I would like to inform you that, the above review is solely my personal view. I am a humble writer myself and would never be rude or proud to say that my ideas are better than yours.
Hi Dhu-Glas,
This is Agnelo and it’s a great opportunity and my pleasure to read and review your work titled "The night before" Highlights:
This is a great poem with a great message. Of recent times, Christmas is more of commerce and the real message about receiving Jesus in our life is totally forgotten.
You have touched a very good topic and I wish that this gets to more people.
In the first three- half stanzas, you have well described the frenzy of shoppers, the money spent (wasted), shopkeepers benefit and the banks too(with all the interest) and how people spend without discern.
The remaining part of your poem is about what the real message for Christmas should be. Well done!
You have used a rhyme pattern of AABB which is good.
The flow was good and easy to read. The only place I had a problem was "In hopes that they, finally, can fill out their list." - I would suggest that if possible to change this to "Hoping that they can finally, fill out their list. " Favorites: "Jesus was born; a message to bring,
Of peace and goodwill from our GOD, the King!
We celebrate Christmas, or at least we should,
To honor the child, the message, the good"
This stanza is bang-on,the core of your poem and my favorite. Grammar/Punctuation/Typos:
Would like to suggest that you use Capitals to identify pronouns referring to Jesus Suggestions:
Write more of these and spread the message of Love all around.
I would like to inform you that, the above review is solely my personal view. I am a humble writer myself and would never be rude or proud to say that my ideas are better than yours.
Hi
This is Agnelo and it’s a great opportunity and my pleasure to read and review your work titled "Past the point of understanding" Highlights:
With God, everything is possible. So when things are beyond our understanding, it is only right to stand before HIM and seek His grace.
A very well written poem and I loved everything of it.
The flow is good and gives a feeling of praying! Favorites:
You have closed the poem with a strong message, a teaching, that if you want relief, prayer is the answer and God is the comforter. Grammar/Punctuation/Typos:
Nothing that I noticed Suggestions:
The comments that may appear in this review are just my personal thoughts. I am just a humble writer and would never be rude or proud to say that my ideas are better than yours.
So Keep writing and keep sharing.
Poetry is my hobby. I love to read, write and learn.
Hi Rhen McGrath,
This is Agnelo and it’s a great opportunity and my pleasure to read and review your work titled "The Girl in Red" Highlights:
A poem with good imagery. The flow was good and easy to read. I was trying to figure out what exactly was the plot and read it a couple of times but without success.
the rhyming is good. Favorites:
"There she stood
Eyes black as charred wood
A girl in red" - This is scary enough Grammar/Punctuation/Typos:
Nothing that I noticed Suggestions:
I would like to inform you that, the above review is solely my personal view. I am a humble writer myself and would never be rude or proud to say that my ideas are better than yours.
Hi mama,
This is Agnelo and it’s a great opportunity and my pleasure to read and review your work titled "Broken Heart" Highlights:
Nicely written emotions of someone with a broken heart, hurt by someone and the memories still bring on the pain. The best thing is putting trust in "HIM" above because he has a plan for us.
The flow was good and a few places I noticed some rhyme as well. Favorites:
"Only he in heaven knows
There is one thing I know in my mind
I know his plan I have to find" Grammar/Punctuation/Typos:
"him" - "Him" and "his" - "His" - since you are referring to God
A bit of commas and periods to define the end and start of a line. Suggestions:
Keep writing more of these
I would like to inform you that, the above review is solely my personal view. I am a humble writer myself and would never be rude or proud to say that my ideas are better than yours.
Hi Shannen Wras,
This is Agnelo and it’s a great opportunity and my pleasure to read and review your work titled "Pain Became my friend today" Highlights:
Very well written and that too when you were 15. Great talent I must say.
I noticed a rhyme pattern of "ABCB" which was easy and perfect.
The rhythm was good. Favorites:
"Pain became my friend today
When she saw me kneel down and cry
Then she lay down right next to me
To kiss my joy good-bye" Suggestions:
I would suggest that you split the poem into stanzas of 4 lines - (a space is all that is required after every 4 lines.).
I thought the above with some punctuations would make this poem a great work.
Keep writing more of this
I would like to inform you that, the above review is solely my personal view. I am a humble writer myself and would never be rude or proud to say that my ideas are better than yours.
Hi JDMac,
This is Agnelo and it’s a great opportunity and my pleasure to read and review your work titled "The Mumbling Man" Highlights:
Very often we come across mumbling people but this for an inspiration to write a poem is fantastic. The imagery was very good and I could recall the subject walking and talking to himself. Yes you are right when you say that the thoughts and what they speak are rightly invisible, inaudible, intangible and inconceivable.
The flow was good and easy to read. Favorites:
I loved the use of internal rhyme in all the last lines of each stanza. Grammar/Punctuation/Typos:
Nothing specific Suggestions:
I would like to inform you that, the above review is solely my personal view. I am a humble writer myself and would never be rude or proud to say that my ideas are better than yours.
Hi Farnaz Del,
This is Agnelo and it’s a great opportunity and my pleasure to read and review your work titled "The Definition of Love" Highlights:
Appreciate your definition of love and what it means to you. Love is the essence of our living. Love is so many things but most of all love is what you say in these two beautiful lines:
"Love is like a dove,
That is free to do as it wishes"
Well done! Favorites:
The above two lines are my favorite Grammar/Punctuation/Typos:
Nothing specific Suggestions:
I read your footnotes and let me tell you that writing in free verse also requires great amount of skill and talent and you for sure have it.
So keep writing these beautiful poems!
I would like to inform you that, the above review is solely my personal view. I am a humble writer myself and would never be rude or proud to say that my ideas are better than yours.
Hi teach,
This is Agnelo and it’s a great opportunity and my pleasure to read and review your work titled "Life"
Yes it is true that life is what we make out of it. The good and the bad, all is part of life. Life is such a wonderful gift given by God for a purpose.
Even though this subject is quite written about and read, you have done a nice job here.
I could see rhyming in many places but not in any consistent form.
I would like to inform you that, the above review is solely my personal view. I am a humble writer myself and would never be rude or proud to say that my ideas are better than yours.
Hi RaisaRashed,
This is Agnelo again and it’s a great opportunity and my pleasure to read and review your work titled "Home No More" Highlights:
The message is clear. Parents at times need to give ear to what their children has got to say. I appreciate the way you have brought up this issue which is quite often seen as being an important reason for children drifting away from parents. Nice work. Suggestions:
In the 1st stanza, the Last line "You'll have to do what I say." is a bit too loud for a child. It reads as if the child is being arrogant. Could it be changed to something softer.
The rhyming is good except in a few places like "thrice/dimes" and the one in the last line, seems that "Rome" is used forcibly just to have rhyme in place.
Also this particular line is a bit too long. Well these are just my thoughts and you know best what is good.
I would like to inform you that, the above review is solely my personal view. I am a humble writer myself and would never be rude or proud to say that my ideas are better than yours.
Hi Louisa,
This is Agnelo and it’s a great opportunity and my pleasure to read and review your work titled "The Promise" Highlights:
Wow! Beautifully expressed emotions that touched my heart.
You have used all the seasons well to express the feelings and each couplet makes perfect sense about losing someone and the loneliness felt.
The flow as well as the rhyme was perfect. Favorites:
The last couplet was the best of all. Grammar/Punctuation/Typos:
Nothing that I noticed Suggestions:
Nothing except that write more of these.
I would like to inform you that, the above review is solely my personal view. I am a humble writer myself and would never be rude or proud to say that my ideas are better than yours.
All Writing.Com images are copyrighted and may not be copied / modified in any way. All other brand names & trademarks are owned by their respective companies.
Generated in 0.19 seconds at 11:20pm on Dec 17, 2024 via server WEBX1.
| (3.5)
View Portfolio
Visit Notebook
Send Gift Points
Awards
Badges
Send Email
Community Newsfeed
General Discussion
Sponsored Items
Book of Trinkets
Static Items
Books
Groups
Interactive Stories
Audio
Campfire Creatives
Community Notes
Crossword Puzzles
Documents
Folders
Images
In & Outs
Madlibs
Photo Albums
Polls
Product Reviews
Quizzes
Survey Forms
Web Pages
Word Searches
Welcome to WDC from "
and it’s a great opportunity and my pleasure to read and review your work titled "Poem of Everything"
: 
:
:
My review has been submitted for consideration in "