i liked the concept of this story and thought it was interesting. I think it was very nicely put together, and proceeded along smoothly and efficiently. i would have like to see some descriptions on the characters and perhaps a bit of a history on their lives and what brought them to the point they are at now.
All in all it was a good story and i thought a good read. :)
your story was very intriguing and the details very vivid. What happened to that poor girl chilled me to the bones. That was a horrible way to go. I had wished while reading it that she'd of been saved but i guess every story cant have a happy ending. This seemed pretty much like a supernatural horror story i think horror would describe how i felt as i read the events that took place. I also was able to feel the pain of what her charge was going through and i felt her pain, sadness and the sense of failure she felt from not being able to save her charge.
I think you did a great job with the detail. of all the stories i have read i will say yours was the first story i read that actually depicted a scene of horror in my mind. Very nicely done.
I thought that was an interesting and amusing story of how much time we waste in our lives and what they do with it. I thought every detail was explained perfectly, as well as the emotions of anger where displayed and argued about with how mortals waste time. I really didn't see anything that needed to be changed or added to i thought it was done nicely. Goo job!! and keep smiling :)
I found the storytellers story to be intriguing the way he watched and his way of thinking. leaves me to wonder though who was actually the more evil one the boy who he imagined did all these things or the man that saw them in his mind. it leaves one to think which one was the actual evil character in the story.. was the kid really evil or was the man that saw evil in the crippled child delusional in his way of thinking. i enjoyed your short story very much and wish you the best of luck in your writings.
i did find this short story very entertaining about how sometimes what you see isn't what you get.. It was a fascinating read i really enjoyed it. it even put a smile on my face at how it was a story that didn't have a happily ever after. where as i love happy endings sometime its more realistic to think of it from a less happier side.. keep up the good work :)
i have read both synopsis and where they are both very riveting and enjoyable i think this one does tend to draw you in faster. it seems a bit more focused and put together. so if you would like my honest opinion i think this one would have the more stronger pull to draw in readers but either would work but i must say that i tend to find this one a better choice of the two.
I thought the Synopsis was interesting about how she gained her mysterious new power and that it landed her across the universe to a wizard who finds it in his heart to protect her. it drew my attention in and i'm actually looking forward to reading more of your story. it did catch my attention and pulled me in. From what i have read i'm hoping to see not only a world of magic and mayhem from his need to protect her but perhaps a blossoming romance between the two. I really enjoyed what i have read so far and will be looking into reading more of your story.. yours was the first item i was able to read and enjoyed in my short time here. great job and keep up the good work. :)
Printed from https://shop.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/alila
All Writing.Com images are copyrighted and may not be copied / modified in any way. All other brand names & trademarks are owned by their respective companies.
Generated in 0.08 seconds at 6:28am on Nov 16, 2024 via server WEBX1.