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Printed from https://shop.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/amp21
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15 Public Reviews Given
15 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
1
1
Review by A. Powell Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.0)
This piece is quite well-written, particularly for an informal experiment. It has a distinctive whimsey to it that lends the reader a childish sense of delight at the spoon's distortions and at the discovery thereof. Very impressed with the the language in general, though personally, I would rethink the use of the word 'clack.' There's probably a better option out there.
'And a fork! What elegance!' Is a great line. Keep up the good work!
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Review by A. Powell Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (3.0)
While clearly a vehemently political poem (that I happen to agree with) I will refrain from political commentary and instead review objectively.

One thing that caught my attention is the phrasing of the first line in paragraph three. You say 'brought forth' a nation, which implies responsibility for the existence of the nation itself rather than the state that nation is in. Switching a few words around usually clears up this sort of ambiguity, though.

I didn't really understand the 'fruitcake in American History' line; I'm not sure if you meant he just acts like a fruitcake, or if you're referring to the fact that nobody actually likes fruitcake.

This is a strange mixture of indignation and whimsey, an effect created by your criticism in the form of a rhyming poem. Overall, it's a very interesting way to convey political frustration. Keep it up!
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Review by A. Powell Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.5)
A sparklingly simple poem.
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Review of Traveling Windbag  Open in new Window.
Review by A. Powell Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (3.0)
Whimsical use of syntactics, and the parenthesized and italicized stanzas give an interesting sort of thought-within-a-thought impression.
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