What can I say. This is a beautifully written piece. I think there were a few wet areas around my eyes. I am Jewish, but was brought up in a strict Italian neighborhood. I was the only Jew there. I made many friends in the neighborhood. I learned to speak a little Italian, went to their Catholic Churches, and would you believe it, was an Altar Boy for a brief time until my mother found out. I've always wanted to visit Italy, and see all those beautiful places you speak of. Maybe, one of these days before the lights go out.
Well, at one time I was 20 sumthin. That was a real long time ago.I do remember, however. To me, girls were the thing. I couldn't get enuf of them. All girls as far as I was concerned were beautiful. God bless them all. Of course, I lived in a different time zone that you are in. However, things haven't changed much. You have captured the element beautifully and I complement you. I like your writing and will look forward to seeing more.
If you want to see what my era was, just look at my portfolio
After serving in two wars. I'm 85 years old now, I can relate to all this. I was not married in the first one, but was in my 2nd. I was reported missing. Everything was all set. My wife was visited and told of this. For all practical purposes I was dead. I didn't show up at our doorsteps, but was told of my liberation from the enemies war camp.
I could go on an on about this, but I'll cut it short.
I am so sorry to read this. I sympatize with the whole family. I too have experienced this, both as a soldier in ww2, and again in Korea. I have seen the misery of war. I've seen my friends fall to the enemy. I too have fallen, but only to recover. Thank you for writing this and reminding us.
Very nice. You are fortunate. you have memories. I have none of my Grandma. I so wish that I had. When my parents departed europe for the united states, my grandparents did not go with them. I went to europe when I was grown up to seek my roots, but to no avail. I couldn't find any trace of them. Thank you for writing this.
Hi sarah. I liked your story very much. Although, I am much older than you, I understood it well. Please continue, as I think that you have something going for you.
Joey
If you have time, I would appreciate you reading some of my stories.
Yes, I see why you want to read your poem each morning. It's a lovely piece of work. If we all could only feel this way, what a wonderful world it would be.
Hi, well I did look at as you asked. I have a few comments. But remember this is only my opinion. Others may be different. First, I don't think that the title fits the story. No one knows where you live and the title may mislead. If you intend to write about your life, and then make it into a series then in subsequent stories you may want to tell readers where you live. If you intend the story to develop if she leaves her hole, and graduate into something better. Make a better life for herself and her mother then you may want the title to be "From Poverty in Brooklyn to a Better Place in the World." or something like that. You don't have to follow my suggestions literally.
You've made a good start, however in writing stories. I personally believe it has more meat than poems, but thats only my opinion. The story as it is needs a lot of development. Possibly, to begin with the reason why they are there. "What happened? What caused this. Give it a bit more initial development, then take from there.
Just a couple of spelling errors. I think you meant knot rather than not. Only minor, howwever.
Gee, why do I feel that this story is meant for me. I was like you then without warning it happened. I no longer was what I once was. All I want to do is sit in front of my TV and reminice about the past. I had no more ambition. I didn't care about much anymore.
Oh my, Perppermint Patty, you've done it again. You must be quite a gal to write as you do. Yep, again, I can relate to it. I've done all that, or should I say, I think that I've done it, and I'm a man, gee I think I am.
I love your story. Well written, and it deserves this rating. I can relate to this also. In fact most parents can. I've had three of them do this to me. How can I forget. We cannot, but we can hold the memories, cant we?
Joey My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" .
Yes, I like it. I can see why it it was the best in your class. Please write more, and please look at my stuff. Some of which was written a bit later than the seventh grade.
A beautiful story. Thank you for writing it. I particularly liked the ending. Now if I can only learn to play my dusty guitar, lying in the corner for about a year and a half, I'd be most happy. I strived and strived to learn cords and things like that, but to no avail. So I gave it up, and got a TV instead.
Good luck, and please continue your writing.
A real nice practical story. Could happen to anyone. Maybe me too. I like the way you wrote it. I'll look at your other stories just as soon as my wife makes dinner for me. I hope.
Joey
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