well written and spell checked (even the dialect sections) with a good storyline that made me want to cry towards the end, some sections were a little thin i.e.
“Moses had gained such knowledge from match-racing days in Louisiana. He taught us a secret remedy I still use today; made with wild Cajun herbs mixed with corn meal, de-hulled oats, molasses, water, and then warmed to a soft mash.
I felt that this section was not needed or could have been changed up until the secret remedy then told us more about Moses in louisiana
hilarious!! I work in a nightclub that generally has a burger van outside every weekend and some nights it feels exactly like your hen night tales! well written with good spelling and punctuation and the asides worked brilliantly making the story even more humorous!
Well written,spell checked and very thought provoking especially at this time when nobody has any money and more businesses are closing down by the week. Things are set to get tougher too. I believe that everybody can relate to this piece whether they earn £5000 a year or £500.000 a year especially those with young families.
Aaaggghhh i really want to know what that noise was!
A well written piece with a great storyline and no spelling errors that i could see. Personally I would have kept the same noise all the way through the story rather than change it in the final paragraph as though the sound had moved with him rather than creating a new sound.
fairly well written although patchy in places i.e. the Spaniards death and a little more information with the old man would have help with the story. spelling was alright though there was a section near the beginning where there is an extra word in a sentence making it lose sense,
quite a comedic short story the beginning and end well thought out though the middle section could use a little work on the plot. overall though i enjoyed reading this. Kaas is so named as it is a vegan cheese made from soya and really made the character fit nicely in the world of cheese!
very moving and thought provoking, dealing not just with the obvious themes but also the need to feel loved. well written with no obvious spelling or grammar errors. I could really engage with this story as sections, such as the opening paragraphs, are reminiscent of my life.
I found this Ghazal well written and thought provoking each stanza being synonymous with so many different things that I had to read it several times and still i do not think i understand the original meaning of the author each read providing a very different thought process.
Such a mesmerizing plot, i just couldn't stop reading! Well written and the dialogue flows well. the only problem i have is that it was just too short i would love to see this turned into a novel telling more of the story of the weeks after the power was lost, how difficult it was to survive how people earned money and consumables to trade then following up with how everybody felt when their friends and family were dying around them and more detail in how his mind was failing.
Printed from https://shop.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/blindingfate
All Writing.Com images are copyrighted and may not be copied / modified in any way. All other brand names & trademarks are owned by their respective companies.
Generated in 0.07 seconds at 11:38pm on Dec 25, 2024 via server WEBX1.
| (4.5)
View Portfolio
Visit Notebook
Send Gift Points
Awards
Badges
Send Email
Community Newsfeed
General Discussion
Sponsored Items
Book of Trinkets
Static Items
Books
Groups
Interactive Stories
Audio
Campfire Creatives
Community Notes
Crossword Puzzles
Documents
Folders
Images
In & Outs
Madlibs
Photo Albums
Polls
Product Reviews
Quizzes
Survey Forms
Web Pages
Word Searches
