\"Writing.Com
*Magnify*
SPONSORED LINKS
Printed from https://shop.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/bluesuit
Review Requests: OFF
28 Public Reviews Given
98 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
1
1
Review of Alva's Prayer  Open in new Window.
Review by pastiche Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.5)
An excellent portrayal with a delicate touch. The tiny details - From God to garters; from "I've outlived two husbands, and I've buried my one precious son. / You know I'm not scared of dying." to pink polish, really transform the work from description to poetry.

(quiety - should be quietly?)

The final two lines are truly beautiful. Great work!

Best,
Peter
2
2
Review by pastiche Author IconMail Icon
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
This is going to be an awful review - in that I will be quoting so much of your work back to you - but I really need to show where the points are coming from.

Where to start...? This is a marvellous poem, full of hints and subtleties.

To think that a whole life thought process could be sparked by such a simple, yet elegant, statement -
" A gathering of teapots, so mundane,";

An image that is unique -
"the tall, sleek, silvery
mid-century modern, as spare
as the silence after a tolling bell?".

Then to take a simple choice about a domestic appliance and make it universal:
" Things weary, things break, things fade away.
How to decide what to save?"!

I could go on but the tiny change from the first stanza to the last sums up the scope of the poem perfectly:
" A still life isn't something
you just throw together." -
" A life isn't something
you just throw together."

The rhythm is perfect for reading aloud and there is such a wry humour throughout.

I've always believed that good poetry is about taking something plain and obvious and turning it so that others can say: 'I never thought of it that way!'
It is true communication.

This is very, very good poetry.

Best,
patiche






3
3
Review of One Last Scratch  Open in new Window.
Review by pastiche Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.5)
Well! Your 'haystack' is certainly full of unique combinations of images! - Radio waves and Roman columns...

The whole thing ran with a fine internal rhythm that shone when read aloud.
The final verse/line is not only great in itself -

"I want to be the pitchfork,
looking for the needle
in the haystack.

The pitchfork has all the answers"

but it also pulled the whole mesh of straining thoughts together perfectly.

An excellent write!

Best,
Peter
4
4
Review by pastiche Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
First thought - I don't want to see you at my front door wanting to talk about this review! LOL

The story was tidy and flowed easily, allowing me to enjoy the details ("cup of hot chocolate with tiny marshmallows") without distracting me from the plot.

The opening was very good, a neat 'hook' that made me curious - made me want to read on.

There were a couple of tiny errors - the 'hot chocolate' became 'tea' and in the sentence "You’re writing on this piece..." it should be 'Your'.
Sorry if I seem to be picky - I don't mean to be - I really just want to help.

You kept the ending well hidden. It came as a real surprise - the best kind of ending in my view!

I really enjoyed the story, especially the way you wove the two colours into the ending.

Good work!
Best,
p

5
5
Review by pastiche Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (5.0)
This is a marvellous poem - completely unique!
The opening is so subtle - as it gets the reader thinking as well... A perfect hook to draw one in.
The use of "And" to start a sentence - whilst gramatically incorrect - and the "..." ending, lifts the phrase up - as if it were a piece of thought that happened to surface from the constant stream.
"And chances are,
she's right..."
The timbre and touch are elegant, the occassional repeats: ((cough, cough...) fit the mood perfectly.
The ending is...just..superb.
Sorry I've spent more words on this than there are in the poem but - I don't have that graceful touch.
Excellent - congratulations on winning the Round!
Best,
p
6
6
Review of Winter's Night  Open in new Window.
Review by pastiche Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | N/A (Review only item.)
A great image. Many poems have lines that can be singled out for special attention. This does not: each is a simple strand that only becomes special when this poem comes together.
Every reader takes something unique from a poem - part of its beauty, I guess - and I found the image of the tiniest hope defeating despair in its many guises very comforting. The flickering candles and lone leaf holding their own against the elements and the idea of the sky being crystal,liable to shatter and let back the warmth of the sun, were all well portrayed.
Of course, I have no idea what others have taken from this poem and I maybe quite wrong about your intentions, but I am certainly right in my understanding of it. LOL! This, however, makes it more than a simple piece of description: it turns it into a poem.
Thanks for sharing this little piece of warmth
Best
Peter
7
7
Review of True Love  Open in new Window.
Review by pastiche Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.5)
Very poignant. You've the triplet form very well.
Best wishes
8
8
Review of A Morning Visitor  Open in new Window.
Review by pastiche Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi! I thought it was a beautifully woven picture, a very graphic story using simple phrases and short sentences.
My only quibble is with the ending. You held my full attention easily: "I sat in my car for nearly an hour...What would you think? I know what I thought. I didn’t come all this way to sit in my car. And I didn’t."
I think I was waiting for a punch-line that never came - for me. Down to personality I guess...
Nevertheless, it was crafted excellently.

Best wishes
9
9
Review by pastiche Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.5)
How can I phrase this...? Mmmm...
I remember standing jam-packed in the bar, voice long gone, laughing at Argentina.

I remember that moment in the Brazil game when we thought we really, really, really could do this.

I remember the silence as Seaman scrambled, failing.

I remember cheering Brazil on in the final (I cheer anyone against Germany!)

So many memories - all gone to dreams and smoke...
Thanks for bringing it all back.
Nice writing.
Best wishes.
Just another England fan...
10
10
Review of Victim of Love  Open in new Window.
Review by pastiche Author IconMail Icon
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
So unfair! I'd just settled neatly into my 'serious- classical' frame of mind when things started to stop adding up... Towards the end I was smiling; at the end I laughed.

No missed beats, runs well when spoken.
Ne'er too complex a structure, for distraction.
What can one say, Sir, what can one say?

Excellent!
10 Reviews · *Magnify*
Page of 1 · 25 per page   < >
Printed from https://shop.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/bluesuit