Thank you. This was refreshing. I appreciate the imagery and well placed poetic devices. Also, I sensed both truth and experience in your analysis of love. I would like to have seen the same meter in the last stanza, but by then I was so invested that it wasn't too much of a distraction. Good writing. Please don't stop.
This poem is very detailed and tell a story well. As it is depicts extreme abuse in the first person, I hoped for a more personal account. It's a good tragic poem.
I kept asking myself, is the creature life, as I re-read your offering. It is true that we cannot see the forest from the trees sometimes, and your poem seems to affirm that we feel most free and significant when we create. I got a little confused by the rhythm, but it was interesting.
This seems so honest about the character of older men in general. It would seem to help both men and those who love them to understand them. I would have liked a hint about what caused the retreat and what the outward signals were. Altogether, it's well formed and visual. I'll look forward to more from you.
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