There was a lot of confusion in the writing, and I think that is what you were trying to put across. It work well in creating a dizzy kind of fear, but I couldn't help but get irritated at times by the vagueness and disorientating nature of the text.
I liked the twist at the end, at the revelation. It was interesting, and had a definitive style, which simply falls down to taste that i didn't particularly like the style myself.
I would encourage you to write, I'm sure more people would like it, and if I had more of a taste for the style you write (if you read my portfolio items, like "The Book" or "Pursuit" , you'll find I write in a more conventional style) I would have enjoyed it more. That's no fault of yours though, you cannot account for personal taste.
Good luck with future work
Mark
Printed from https://shop.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/brandnewme
All Writing.Com images are copyrighted and may not be copied / modified in any way. All other brand names & trademarks are owned by their respective companies.
Generated in 0.07 seconds at 1:32pm on Dec 25, 2024 via server WEBX1.
View Portfolio
Visit Notebook
Send Gift Points
Awards
Badges
Send Email
Community Newsfeed
General Discussion
Sponsored Items
Book of Trinkets
Static Items
Books
Groups
Interactive Stories
Audio
Campfire Creatives
Community Notes
Crossword Puzzles
Documents
Folders
Images
In & Outs
Madlibs
Photo Albums
Polls
Product Reviews
Quizzes
Survey Forms
Web Pages
Word Searches
