Wow!! I love this poem because of how neatly the title and message pulls in with the last line. I was pulled in instantly throught your entire poem and I simply loved it!!
Great job Julia,
Brie :)
Your poem really emits strong feelings, well done.:)
I love how you were describing and portraying your subject.
The only tips I could give you would be to try to sustain a contant beat. That may help you to enchant your readers even more. I still am not perfect with beat also so don't worry about it too much:)
What a wonderful piece-keep on writing and never doubt your work because it is fantastic!!:)
From Brie.:)
Helo!!
You have incuded a lovely amount of beautiful feelings in your writing. This is a beautifl story!!
Keep up the wonderful writing and I look forward to reading more,
Brie.
What a great piece of writing!!
I think you have potrayed the surrounding enviroment so well!! You have done a great job in introducing your characters without telling!! A great start to a story. You make me want to read more and your last few sentences made such an great impact!
Keep Writing,
Brianatsang
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