Welcome to Writing.com! What an interesting short story!
You're a good writer -- good grammar, sentence structure, etc. I'm picky about those things, and wouldn't suggest changes at all in that regard.
I really like the concept, with these people we've seen in paintings from centuries in the past. I think some mystery would keep the reader's interest. When I know from the beginning that the people in the paintings tend to come alive, it becomes a fairly dull story of a guy retrieving a ring he left there. There's no mystery about the music and voices that the narrator hears when he arrives at the museum, etc. It would be more fun for the reader to wonder what's going on. Maybe you could leave out the first sentence so the reader doesn't know what's going on, then have the narrator wonder if there's a costume party going on -- something like that? Just a thought.
I'm confused (perhaps I'm just not quick enough to get it, haha) about the narrator's surprise that the people in the paintings came alive, if he had left the ring with one of those people in the past?
Looking forward to seeing more stories from you! :)
Great job! Well written, interesting, realistic. And a surprising ending. I wondered if your main character blamed herself because she had allowed spousal abuse to go on too long, but understood at the end that she blamed herself for creating the monster!
All Writing.Com images are copyrighted and may not be copied / modified in any way. All other brand names & trademarks are owned by their respective companies.
Generated in 0.07 seconds at 5:46am on Dec 18, 2024 via server WEBX1.
View Portfolio
Visit Notebook
Send Gift Points
Awards
Badges
Send Email
Community Newsfeed
General Discussion
Sponsored Items
Book of Trinkets
Static Items
Books
Groups
Interactive Stories
Audio
Campfire Creatives
Community Notes
Crossword Puzzles
Documents
Folders
Images
In & Outs
Madlibs
Photo Albums
Polls
Product Reviews
Quizzes
Survey Forms
Web Pages
Word Searches
