\"Writing.Com
*Magnify*
SPONSORED LINKS
Printed from https://shop.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/ceceliashea
Review Requests: OFF
122 Public Reviews Given
199 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
Previous ... -1- 2 ... Next
1
1
Review by Cecelia Shea Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
This is a very good story. I've always been partial to animals over people as well, so I know where you're coming from.

The only suggestion I would offer is to try to bring more imagery into the story. It's being "told" rather than "shown" and would benefit from some color.

I really enjoyed your story. Thank you for sharing.

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
2
2
Review of Penance  Open in new Window.
Review by Cecelia Shea Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (3.5)
I saw your request for honest reviews on the request review page. I have listed my suggestions below:

I did her a service. You used a line almost the same to this at the beginning of the same paragraph, so this one is not needed. And, the line before it, But in doing so I set her free,has more of an impact without it.

Wearily, my heart goes one Change one to on.

“ Did you really believe I would let you escape with such a light sentence? Backspace "did" to meet the quotes.

It's fine to keep "his" words in italics, but you should end the italics when you narrate. Then, begin the italics again when he speaks. It will look and flow better. Also, double space between each paragraph and between dialog.

Lastly, the story focuses too much on I and My. Bring in some imagery to spread the mix.

I hope you found this review helpful.

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
3
3
Review by Cecelia Shea Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
What a beautifully written account of Ken's last hours of life.

I have a feeling he knew when he awoke, that day would be his last, and he accpted it, knowing that he would be "whole" again very soon. I have a feeling he was there for you, as much as you were for him; maybe his blink was to let you know that You had nothing to fear?

You've done a fine job telling this story. I thank you for sharing.

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
4
4
Review of Baptism of Rain  Open in new Window.
Review by Cecelia Shea Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.5)
What a well-written, beautifully flowing poem.

My favorite parts:

A heart touched by love cannot escape the Dove.

It grows with time passing, and each new trespassing.

He listens for our cries, as our sins reach the skies


This is very powerful. Thank you for sharing.

P.S. The sig you used is the lovliest I've ever seen.

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
5
5
Review of Novels  Open in new Window.
Review by Cecelia Shea Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.5)
You have a great collection of short stories that appeal to all ages. Titles like "When Momma Said Grace", "Ghost Train", "Death on the Horizon", "The Knight in Tarnished Armor," are very intriguing and peak the curiosity.

You're right, leaving the old stories "as is" is a good way to see how your writing has changed, matured, and improved over time.

Great job! Thank you for sharing these strores with us.

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
6
6
Review by Cecelia Shea Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (3.0)
Although this is a poem from the heart, the words "my love" are very repetive and take away the flow of the piece. If you remove 98% of the "my love's" this poem will stand on its own and be deserving of a much higher rating.

I hope you found this review helpful.

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
7
7
Review by Cecelia Shea Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Your contest is one of the coolest on w.com. I mean that sincerely, as I am one of your previous winners! And what was the prize? A horror merit badge! Yeah!

Not only can anyone win, but they have so much FUN while playing.

I remember many a red-eyed night, staying up late to see what question might be asked next. And, when one came up that I knew, I'd yell aloud and quickly hit reply to the question!!

What a great, fun way to spend a night, even a date night; you can play while you neck :-0

8
8
Review of The Gardenia  Open in new Window.
Review by Cecelia Shea Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.0)
Wow! This story didn't go the way I was expecting it to. Good job weaving the two stories together.

I shouted for my mother who was busy reading the day's mail to come look. "too" busy.

porch-room rather than reusing this word, why not also refer to it as a porch, Florida room, sun room, enclosed porch, etc?

Great Aunt is oversused. Other words that would work: Aunt and the use of her name, Mary.

They looked so soft and pretty, all creamy and smooth, like vanilla ice cream half-melted and swirled with a spoon. Very nice imagery.

She said that I should always be true to my self; "myself" is one word.

I hurt even deeper inside; a heart hurt, a soul hurt. I hurt even deeper inside, in my heart and soul.

Your ending was powerful and perfect.
9
9
Review of Golden  Open in new Window.
Review by Cecelia Shea Author IconMail Icon
Rated: ASR | (4.0)
I read this twice to capture the full meaning of your words. It is my understanding the doctor's injection is ending the man's life. Wouldn't it be more believable, what with a doctor's oath and all, that she would turn off the machine that kept him alive, rather than kill him with needle?

Regardless, your writing style is still superb.

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
10
10
Review by Cecelia Shea Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (3.5)
You got a chuckle out of me *Smile*

Whats brought you back in this neck of the woods?, end quotes needed. The comma after the question mark is not needed.

thought I would come in to see you and get a bite to eat.", No comma needed after the quotes.

"Well, what can I get you.", Question mark needed instead of period. No comma needed after quotes.

Cute story, I enjoyed it *Smile*

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
11
11
Review of My Hiding Place  Open in new Window.
Review by Cecelia Shea Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
I thoroughly enjoyed this story. You've repeated the word closet a lot, but it works well, seeing as this piece centers around the closet.

suggestion:

When my parents would fight over when my parents fought over

Thank you for sharing this story with us.

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
12
12
Review of A Family Picnic  Open in new Window.
Review by Cecelia Shea Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.0)
Very nice fiction piece.


My favorite part:

We fell back onto the blanket laughing, and he planted a sensual kiss on my mouth. I broke the kiss, looking around nervously for Slyvia.


Suggestion:

The picnic was a success. I finally got to use the picnic basket I'd picked up in early summer, and I loaded it up with typical picnic fare: fried chicken, potato salad, fresh fruit, and peanut butter and jelly for Slyvia. If you put a period after summer this would be an easier read.

Thank you for sharing this flash fiction story.

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
13
13
Review of Freezing  Open in new Window.
Review by Cecelia Shea Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.5)
Wow! Great fiction piece on freezing.

I love this:

Drops of ice made the tree seem as though it were draped in jewels.

Too bad he didn't stop while he was ahead:

Later, when the police arrived, they found an amazing ice replica of a teenage boy.


Great work. You have a strong talent for "showing" your stories through imagery.

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
14
14
Review of Bugged  Open in new Window.
Review by Cecelia Shea Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
This is another well told story. Your imagery is vivid, your choice of words right on.

suggestion:

His wife was a zombie. “I came back, love.” She constructed a smile. “I made it so you and I can be together, forever.” His wife's decayed mouth curled into a smile. "I came back my love; now we can be together forever."

But that suggeston is only my opionion *Smile*

Great job!

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
15
15
Review of O Brother!  Open in new Window.
Review by Cecelia Shea Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (2.5)
Hi
I saw your story on the request review page. You are off to a good start with this story. It could benefit from some of the suggestions I've listed below.

Some quick suggestions:

Double space between paragraphs and dialog; it makes reading easier.

Use spell-check. It doesn't work for everthing but you have words here that it would work for.

Proof-read your work before posting it, and make edits according to the proof-read/spell check.

If using a word like mom or dad, Cap it when used as a name; ie: "Mom, I lost my shoe." Mom is being used as a name, so it's capped.

If you use it this way: "I told my mom I lost my shoe" then it's not capped because you're simply referring to the person.

Try not to use "he said" or "she said" so often. It get's boring. MIx it up and with practice you'll get the hang of it *Smile*

If you put these suggestions to use your ratings will go way up.

I hope you found this review helpful.

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
16
16
Review of Battered Shark  Open in new Window.
Review by Cecelia Shea Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
This was a great read. I thoroughly enjoyed it. I love it when the female becomes her own hero.

I felt as though I was standing beside her, urging her to "Get out, quick!"

I'm so glad you didn't clutter this story with police, an arrest, and prison. It stands on its own, as is.

Thank you for sharing this story with us. I'll be sure to watch for more stories to come.

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
17
17
Review of The Run  Open in new Window.
Review by Cecelia Shea Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Don't give up!

That's what I said aloud upon finishing this story about overcoming the pain, only to find more lying in wait like a neverending nightmare.

Though well-written, you have many run-on sentences. Be careful of using the words though and but so often. Other than that, this was a terrific read!

Thanks for sharing. I hope you found this review helpful.

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **

18
18
Review by Cecelia Shea Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
What a gripping tale of drug abuse as told by the mother. My heart goes out to you. Your story has a happy ending, though. It could have been so much worse; he might still be using rather than getting the professional help he needs.

You poured your heart and soul into this story so that you could share it with others, and hopefully help other moms out there who are pulling there hair out right now.

Great job!

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
19
19
Review of Please Choose Me  Open in new Window.
Review by Cecelia Shea Author IconMail Icon
Rated: ASR | (4.0)
Though this is a good story, I'm not "feeling it." It's being told to the reader rather than shown to them. I know the little boy wants to be adopted, but again, I'm not feeling his need. I'm just reading the words.

Also, the word orphange is overused throughout.

Thank you for sharing this adoption story.

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
20
20
Review by Cecelia Shea Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (5.0)
This is a beautiful, well written poem. Your stanzas all flow nicely, each one containing four lines. Your grammar looks perfect as well. Thank you for sharing this lovely, heartfelt poem with us, especially during this holiday season.
CC Shea
21
21
Review of Winter Weather  Open in new Window.
Review by Cecelia Shea Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.0)
Thank you for sharing this poem, especially with winter sneaking up on us!

I especially liked this stanza:

Sinking deep in shifting snow
As onwards you trudgingly try to go.
But the exhilaration you get in the end
Is worth as much as making a friend.


Suggestions:

Ice, snow, now comes the fog,
Weather not fit for even a dog,
The cold, the freezing biting cold,
To venture out you need to be bold.

In the first line you might want to say, "Ice, snow, and now the fog." And the 3rd line is repetitive as you've used cold twice. You may want to say something like "the gloominess and biting cold." Or something like that.

These are just my opionions. I hope you found this review helpul.

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
22
22
Review by Cecelia Shea Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.0)
Very well written poem. I'm glad I read it. This stanza shows your fear:

I had to go down a lane with bushes piled high on one side,
And my breath came in gasps, my eyes fear opened wide.
I would think that I could hear following footsteps behind,
And always the shadows played tricks with my mind.


Nice job!

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
23
23
Review of Inherited Medals  Open in new Window.
Review by Cecelia Shea Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.5)
I had to read this poem twice to get the feel of where you were coming from. The 2nd time was the charm! Now I GET it! I will say this, from what you've written here, I think you should turn this into a short story. I would read it! I hope you found this review helpful.

(item:908943}
24
24
Review of England  Open in new Window.
Review by Cecelia Shea Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.0)
This is a well written poem. You've done well to show us colors with the use of different flowers.

My suggestions:

But without them English gardens would not earn praise.
My mind wanted to read, But without them English gardens would not earn "such high" praise.

Skylarks winging above meadows in clear blue skies.
again my mind wanted to see, in the clearest bright blue skies.

Once you get the hang of such long lines, the stanzas flow much more clearly. However, your last stanza is REALLY long. It breaks the flow that took some work to begin with. You may want to rework that so it keeps in flow with the rest of the poem. Thank you for sharing it with us.

I hope you found this review helpful.

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
25
25
Review of Extremes  Open in new Window.
Review by Cecelia Shea Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (3.0)
I'm not quite sure what a trip to Florida has in common with your poem, other than palm trees. You stuck to the theme of every two lines rhyming, but I'm left to wonder if your poem lost its original purpose due to that rhyming sequence?? Lastly, this is the most confusing part of the poem, at least for me:

Those soldiers have not died for their sons to live in poverty;
or to struggle in the land that they adopted to be free!


I hope you found this review helpful.

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
45 Reviews · *Magnify*
Page of 2 · 25 per page   < >
Printed from https://shop.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/ceceliashea