I read part one and was happy to see part two. Clever writing to stop where you have, it cries out wait for more. Picking up here and looking back on part one I didn't feel as though too much was left out, it blends well. Maybe adding a little visionary hope of hair color, eyes or anything these two might have in common would tangle the reader up even more. With that being said, if it weren't included I'd still read on. Your knack to taunt with a desired, favorable outcome is spirited and intriguing.
This story rings quite true in this day and age. The internet, social websites and Skype, a powerful connecting force for the adventurous, the lonely and shy socialites who just need someone, someone like them. I feel the emotion so that’s a good thing. When I read it though, the two conversations in one paragraph took me a moment to realize, other than that I believe the connection to the two is there. It kept me engrossed to the point that I didn’t want to walk away and quench my thirst, which by the way, I was quite thirsty. A cheer for keeping me enthralled enough to finish and feel better that there is hope for these two. I did like the realism of lowly job performance and throwing oneself in to shallow relationships to get by; a lot of readers could connect to that.
In closing, maybe a little bit more detail of the people, their features (if ever they’ve seen each other via internet or webcam, etc...) some more personal things that can at least give a vivid picture of why not? Great writing and smooth transitions all wrapped up in a nice tight little package. Sometimes detail isn’t always needed to hook a reader.
Okay, it reads well, but, I feel as if it’s a piece from a chapter of a book and maybe not necessarily the beginning of one. If the beginning, I’d love to see a real hook thrown in almost immediately; one to keep me wondering and reading on. Sounds like a sci-fi or mystery, not sure, but well written so far. Love to read more if you intend to go forward or, have already written more. Keep writing….great job. :)
I like the twist in this story when the descriptive nature of being on vacation at the beach with Sara turns to a dream of wanting to be on vacation. Great details. I would like to know more about what her job entails and how wretched her boss is. Otherwise I felt her need for vacation.
This flowed very well and easy to follow with what was happening in the story. Even though I was just getting to know the character, it was enough to make me want to learn more. I wanted to know what exactly made this person such a rarity to a terrestrial being whom is rare in their own right. A great beginning to a story that deserves to be told.
I find this writing to be a self-help piece because one is sharing their hidden feelings about an important relationship from their past. A past and a friendship that still means a lot but has burdens that need to be addressed. The depth is ideal and the reply minimal but it did keep me reading to find the closure to all of it. I enjoy reading pieces that make me keep going and this one did. Very detailed and realistic.
I like this poem and feel the struggle of the person who is seeking the silence because it's specifically described with words and actions. It's short but very compelling and to the point. I find it a good read.
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