I actually loved the new age vampires. Big fan of the Originals and even like the sappy series Vampire Diaries although the plot line gets old. These are a far cry from the original visions of vampires of the 30's. Keep enjoying.
Taylor
Well I liked that a lot. I do a lot of that kind of writing and have a deep appreciation of how good and just how awful we can be. We have never seen the best of man and unfortunately probably never will. Just read a paper, watch a news cast or listen to the radio. Unfortunately that is where we currently reside.
Funny I should find this to read. I took up the guitar a couple months ago. Not sure about Frank but my thoughts have been turning to Dylan and Baez! Has been on a constant loop and never tire of it. I used to listen to Dylan when I was a kid but not since and listening now I am in awe of his poetry.
Taylor
Hi, Well that certainly was lengthy. The most important thing I wish to say is that you need a lot more white space. It was difficult to keep track of with the lines so close. This has all the conjuring of Rod Serling and George Orwell as well as several movies i have seen. The trouble with this story is that it could be coming sooner rather than later!Two other things struck me. You used the word inject and actually should have been cap or cover, something like that.The other, I'm not sure dilapidations is a word? Needs to be something like dilapidated buildings posing as homes or whatever, like that.
Be Well,
Taylor
Seems a though you and i think a great deal alike. It seems that the older I get the worse the world around becomes. Everyday I see such arrogance and or the inability of people to reason as they commit just the most blatantly stupid and insipid behavior. And that is just the civilized among us. Take a visit to Chicago over a weekend and you get a taste of a new kind of world. A visit to San Francisco is yet another story.I used to live out there and it was beautiful, now the streets are filled with feces, drug paraphernalia, homeless living on sewer grates the worst part of that is these governments simply subsidize this behavior.
Rather than trying to correct these depraved behaviors they opted for a phone app that tells you where the piles of s*** are.
As i read your piece, it could well be about Kate Steinle, shot down on Pier 39 by an illegal.
Be well, Taylor
Your title caught my eye as I am in that type of business. I found that the story reads pretty smoothly until the very end. It is there it felt rushed, just like you wanted to be done with it? Also you need to correct the names on the 21rst line from the bottom.
All in all a pretty clever story.
Taylor
Printed from https://shop.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/collins37
All Writing.Com images are copyrighted and may not be copied / modified in any way. All other brand names & trademarks are owned by their respective companies.
Generated in 0.08 seconds at 10:50am on Nov 18, 2024 via server WEBX1.
View Portfolio
Visit Notebook
Send Gift Points
Awards
Badges
Send Email
Community Newsfeed
General Discussion
Sponsored Items
Book of Trinkets
Static Items
Books
Groups
Interactive Stories
Audio
Campfire Creatives
Community Notes
Crossword Puzzles
Documents
Folders
Images
In & Outs
Madlibs
Photo Albums
Polls
Product Reviews
Quizzes
Survey Forms
Web Pages
Word Searches
