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Printed from https://shop.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/dyxe0ri
Review Requests: ON
7 Public Reviews Given
8 Total Reviews Given
Review Style
I will organize it by first thoughts, then if the genre and rating is appropriate, what I liked, improvements, and my final opinion.
I'm good at...
Giving respectful, yet honest reviews.
Favorite Genres
Mystery, Horror, Real-World Problems, Suspense, Light Romance, Sci-Fi
Least Favorite Genres
Erotica, Western, Nonfiction
Favorite Item Types
Poetry, SHORT Stories
Least Favorite Item Types
1000+ word stories
I will not review...
Anything over 18+, anything with excessive nude details.
Public Reviews
1
1
Review by dyxe0ri Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 18+ | (3.5)
|| Requested Review ||

Hello! I saw your request to review, and immediately read the poem.

GENRES: At first I didn't understand quite why the genre was stated as love/romance, yet I see why now. The age rating is accurate, proven by the language and descriptions, however not overused.

WHAT I LIKED: The way this was written is very interesting, my take on it is like how an old man sits at his desk, writing to a journal anywhere from 10-40 years ago, and the styling of it is quite nice. Your dictation is a fine choice, and there were few-none grammatical errors. The middle of the poem I found to be gorgeous, with how neatly it was written and the tone is gave off.

IMPROVEMENTS: Throughout the poem, there are words that can be quite repeated, or words that seem to ruin the flow of the poem. For example, down near the end, But beware as well. As you enjoy your spell of time with her, I advise, Focus and try as hard as you can to not, Fall under her unintentional spell of charm as well. The two wells in that throw off the flow the poem has had for awhile now. This also happens in the beginning, just inconsistencies with trying to keep a steady rhythm; an ocean hit by sudden storms, then calming seas randomly. I took notice to the fact that even though the middle was gorgeous, at times we lost sight of Emily. Emily is not a group of people, she isn't a minor detail. She was what was first mentioned, therefore should continue to be a main idea within the entire piece.

WHAT I THINK?: I think this poem is something that is able to be published out with a few tweaks, something that the world should be able to see. It's a very interesting storyline, with weird consistencies and ideas.. but they fuel it well, not in a bad way, but in a writers way.

You have an excellent idea, and I hope to see it executed out in new forms!
2
2
Review of The Quiet Old Man  Open in new Window.
Review by dyxe0ri Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (5.0)
This reminded me of Dr Suess books and made me feel happy inside.
3
3
Review of 09/02/12  Open in new Window.
Review by dyxe0ri Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi! While i'm not a professional, I also write free-verse poetry and this caught my eye.


I have a cat, and all of this is accurate. The wording is beautiful, and mesmerizes the reader. It a poem with shape, and convey's emotion quite well.

My only critique would be to add more punctuation, adding a period right after an important part can do a world of wonders for the sincerity of a poem, or the overall tone.
4
4
Review by dyxe0ri Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.0)
The wording is absolutely gorgeous, it really draws the reader in! The random capitalization though and the lack of punctuation makes it harder to read and harder to the convey the emotion, just a single comma can really effect the tone! The wording really is amazing though *Heart*
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