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1,331 Public Reviews Given
1,573 Total Reviews Given
Review Style
Disclaimer: I am not good at remembering to do requested reviews. Often I have busy things going on with work and my own novels, so sorry if I decline or don't remember to do a review in the short time given. Just a warning. When I review: Long. Depending on the type of story and reason for review I tend to get anywhere from 4,000 characters to on the rare occasion over 10,000. I will make overall comments, technical points and even offer sources when necessary but a lot is dependent on what I'm reviewing. I can even do a full edit but that's take a lot of niceness and time.
I'm good at...
Ummm let me ask someone and get back to you on this.
Favorite Genres
Fantasy. I read a lot of romance/erotica because of the contest I run. I'm fairly open and will read stories, poems, nonfiction, chapters, almost anything.
Least Favorite Genres
I know less about mystery, horror, some nonfiction topics, and westerns. I also don't care for vampires, sorry but just don't interest me.
Favorite Item Types
Short stories.
Least Favorite Item Types
Probably campfires and interactives. Maybe surveys and polls too though I can always managed to find enough to say.
I will not review...
Shrink or Growth items. I've seen references and yeah, not my type. Erotica is one thing, I can handle most with only few times leaving a story feeling scarred for life, but those two I have no interest in helping. So, unless you want me to say please stop, don't request I review that and if you do, better have it rated appropriately.
Public Reviews
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Review by Dawn Embers Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with NaNoWriMo Plus  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
An excellent activity that helps shape prep work for people taking part in the challenge. I'm a big fan as someone who not only takes part but also helps with the coaching in recent years. Each activity make sense and is given enough time to help a person prepare an idea to get ready for the challenge of actually writing.

I do have one suggestion for the calendar and it's something that I've been trying to work on or remember when creating items on here. In the past, I would haven to thought twice about leaving the font size to the standard. Some reviewers have mentioned difficulty in the past for reviews of things that I've written. I have also found that on some days my eyes are a little irritated, possibly related to some current medical issues. The basic point here is that it would help if the font was bigger like 3.5 or 4. Making the headers a little larger to the 5 or so will help to keep them apart from the pain aspects with the different topics and lists for each day.

Other than that, everything is good here.
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Review by Dawn Embers Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with NaNoWriMo Plus  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (3.5)
Hello Vee Vee Author Icon

My name is Dawn and I found the poem on the option for Read and Review. These are just my thoughts and forgive me if I ramble. Thank you for sharing your writing.

Initial Reactions: This caught my attention since it's a dedication to your mother and that is something relatable, in particular since I had to move in with my own mom. I like the approach and thing it's a good starting point for a poem that could use a little development. Some editing or a rewrite could keep the main basics while maybe playing with lines and structure to have a better flow.

Topic: For many, mom is a topic that they can understand or want to see emphasized in a poem. You do have a good start point in making sure people know what the poem is about with the title and description. If possible, I would add the commas in the title like they are put in the last line of the poem. It doesn't look quite right without. Though it could be cut out because of the title limitation, if putting them in is too long for the web site, I would cut the title down to just My Mother or My Rock.

Suggestions and Final Thoughts: I do have some suggestions to make. These are my thoughts on development for the poem but just based on my opinion and poetic experience.

I would cut out the title at the top of the poem. Since the web site has a specific spot for the title, you don't need to have it placed above the poem.

One of the issues is that some of the lines cave more than one sort of sentence or thought. Like near the very end. I do like how there are only two lines at the end but it feels more like three. The first line of how special she is and how proud you are should be split into two. However, I do think some of the lines would sound better if reworded in a way to not end with "are" or "be". Like I'm aware that the sentence can end that way but it will sound stronger with a little changing of sentence structure.

Four line stanzas are standard but not necessary since you aren't following a particular form. In the first stanza things could be moved into more lines for the stanza. You could end the first line at "younger". The third line could be divided better so that you don't need to use more than one and within a sentence.

The third stanza could use a rewrite. In particular, the first line because there is a typo or incorrect writing. "Then grew I little" needs rewording.

Also, some of the lines need more commas added if they are kept that way. Such as:
"You are my rock,
my savior when I needed you most.
You never gave up on me
even when I felt ____"

Just some ideas. You can rework and fix things how you see fit or keep the same. Thank you for sharing and keep writing.


Sig I bought to put on my reviews.




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Review of When We Part  Open in new Window.
Review by Dawn Embers Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello Dale Ricky Author Icon,

My name is Dawn and I found your poem while searching for something to review. These are just my thoughts and forgive me if I ramble. Thank you for sharing your writing on the site.

Initial Thoughts: This is a short poem that has a melancholy type feel to it with a topic that will resonate in different individuals with a soft touch. It has a good point to provide as a reminder for us about how we communicate to loved ones with the fact that we don't know what will happen next or how long we may have on this realm. Within three small stanzas, you do well to give a message to someone close to you if it's one that you share.

Form: The form used is fairly simple with the four lines per stanza, which is something people are drawn to write and is a familiar approach for readers to appreciate as well. Repetition at the end is done with purpose, which helps and keeping to to a small amount of stanzas makes it so the repeated words aren't overdone. I'm not the biggest fan of repetition when it is done often but this one is fine.

{bTopic: That tomorrow will never come and what messages we leave people with at the end is a common topic. Even sitcoms tough on the issue, worrying about ending a phone call in a fight and if that was the last conversation they ever had. Of course, they would call back to say something nicer and that they loved them but fighting would happen again so then they would have to go do something that they had been fighting about not doing. Still, it's a good point and for those that are holding grudges in particular. We think there is time later to deal with it but we don't know if that's true. We don't know how much time we have left.

Suggestions and Final Thoughts: I like the poem in general. The only nitpicky comment that comes to mind is the wording of the first line. Like, I get the point and it's important to the overall message but there is something about how it is worded that stirs up the questions of maybe there is a better way to say it while keeping the point that needs to be made. Maybe something like "There is no promise of tomorrow" or "Tomorrow is not promised to us" or something of that nature. That just is what my brain says. Others might have different opinions. I do see the poem is a few years old so you may or may not want to edit. All up to you.

Thank you for sharing the poem on the site and for doing so over the years.


Sig I bought to put on my reviews.




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Review of Eye of the Storm  Open in new Window.
Review by Dawn Embers Author IconMail Icon
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
Hi there, Jeff-o'-lantern 🎃 Author Icon

I am reviewing your story today in connection with "I Write in 2025 " Open in new Window. [13+] since I posted in the forum after you. You're making good progress and still stand a chance to make it up to the 25 count is daily challenges and such have good prompts.

Initial Reaction: You have quite an interesting piece because the start is story focused that sets up the scene then you have the three line stanza poem as the other "half" as it seems. They are connected to each other by the topic and helps to create the trepidation of the conflict the prompt creates. On one hand, it feels a little incomplete. Like I might be missing something. On the other hand, it works well to create that mood setting so we know something terrible is going to happen but we don't have the witness after the calm moment ends to show the experience, perhaps.

Contest/Prompt: The contest is a good one as we both have entered Writer's Cramp over the many years of being on the site. The prompt was a challenge for sure. It's not easy to set up that specific scene. Some people will have more experience with tornadoes approaching compared to others, beyond what movies like Twister have shown. I would say the only potential problem could come if a judge is very specific to holding to all elements of the prompt from the questions it asks. I just bring that up because it does ask how the people handle the situation. So, this entry might miss that part because we don't get to see the disaster that happens next even though there may be a good reason.

Final Notes and Other Thoughts: Overall, this is a tough call but still a good entry. I liked the use of the prose element setting everything up but having it end with the poem. This is a nice change up from how some people start novel chapters with poetry then use the prose.

Nice work and keep writing!



Sig I bought to put on my reviews.
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Review of Easter Dresses  Open in new Window.
Review by Dawn Embers Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with NaNoWriMo Plus  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hello Roari ∞ parties on ... 🥳 Author Icon.

My name is Dawn and I decided to review your poem after finding it through the Read & Review function here. These are just my thoughts and forgive me if I ramble. Thank you for sharing your writing.

Initial Thoughts: You caught my attention with the first line, since the features shows random things to read then I didn't end up picking it from the title or description. Those get noticed a little later at times when I'm using the source for finding things to review. Everything combines well though, with different ways to entice a potential reader since there is the title, the description that connects with that plus you have a pretty image where some might see these elements and want to read the poem.

It's a cute poem, overall. There are descriptive elements along with particular items or details that will be something a reader can connect with on a personal level.

Imagery: You do really well with the imagery here with just your word choices. The trick here is to find the right words that give the reader the picture without having to go into a long winded description section that doesn't fit in poetry and would risk coming off boring at times in novels. It is the words like the "pianist's hands" and the "faded green Singer" that really help create an image in the readers heads. I don't know what machine my grandma uses, as she does hem and stuff, or she used to do that. However, I have my great grandmother's Bernina sewing machine and it's got so much history involved plus sentimental value.

Other parts later do similar with the talk of books and giving these aspects to really develop the characters shown in the poem.

Minor Suggestions and Final Thoughts: There might be some ways to adjust to get the flow to go a different way. Perhaps some editing might add a little strength as you could consider how punctuation and sentence structure might influence the end result. On could even say it might be a good idea to just use capital letters on the lines that are the start of the sentences and not do it for every single line, but that is more personal preference.

The main thing I would suggest is to increase the font size to a 3.5 or a 4. I'm doing most of my writing items as a 4 now, even the novel chapters that are private, so only I can read them. It just helps my eyes and others so we can read things better on the different electronic devices, whether it's a laptop, tablet or phone.

Other than that, I just want to say that this is well done. It's a pleasant poem that I appreciated getting the chance to read. Have a good week and keep writing!



Sig I bought to put on my reviews.




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Review of Evolutionary?  Open in new Window.
Review by Dawn Embers Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with NaNoWriMo Plus  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello Fyn Author Icon!

I was searching for a poem or story to review today and this one caught my attention. So, I hope you don't mind me sharing my random thoughts. I might ramble as this has really provoke some memories. Thank you for sharing your writing.


Initial Thoughts: This is quite an interesting and thought provoking poem. The title is the first thing that grabbed my attention. For some, it is in some ways a controversial topic because of the time frame and the whole aspect of evolution. That is where they might go with the reaction to the poem or commentary aspect of what you have created. For me, I don't remember the details from when I was in school but I do have a memory unlocked from working in behavior therapy when I was doing in school sessions with a pre-teen.

One of the classes that he had where I was with him involved homework over the different stages of the neandrathal and homo-habias or umm, I should google the exact words but you get my direction, I hope. Part of the class, I was mostly trying to get the student to pay attention and not use his laptop when it wasn't laptop time. Then it was try to do the homework with the work sheets on the different aspects for who did hunting, what aspects do we see as civilization and such but in somewhat easy language.

Your poem brings me back to those days along with giving self reflection with the understanding of finding a place that makes you feel so small. Thinking about our little gemstone on the diamond painting of our days, it's a thought that can go many different ways.

Thoughts and Suggestions: Overall, this is a great piece that I hope other people will find. It's also something that could maybe be expanded upon. Either with this one or you can do another with similar wording or line focus but with even more added so that there are stanzas. I have a feeling of uncertainty with the center alignment. I tried out the left alignment just to see and it would require some adjusting with combining a line or two but would be good for a longer version. Still is okay at the center and I'm sure others will still like it this way.

Nice work and thank you for sparking ideas with the thought provoking way you approached this topic. Keep writing. *Smile*


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Review of Shattered Dreams  Open in new Window.
Review by Dawn Embers Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with NaNoWriMo Plus  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hello TheBusmanPoet Author Icon

I found your poem through the random read and review function on the site and decided to give it a review. These are just my thoughts and forgive me if I ramble. Thank you for sharing your writing.

Initial Thoughts: This is an interesting poem that exists to showcase sad times or to pull those emotions from the reader. Whether based off real experience or not, it hits some particular points in the effort to reflect what is put in the description as the topic.

Contest/Prompt: I don't know if this was written for a contest or not because none is listed but you did put the line count and word count at the bottom. This is often done for contest entries, so that makes me curious if this poem had been written for something in particular. Was there a prompt or particular reason? Or is it just something you came to write and felt it important to have the counts available for readers?

Form: It doesn't look like a particular form is used here. However, the use of the center alignment gives the poem a particular image compared to how it would have looked with the standard left approach. While I don't see a particular form used, I did notice some factors that stood out.

One aspect is the use of capital letters. Most of the time, it was used to represent the start of a sentence. With poetry, sometimes people will capitalize the start of every line, even if it is within the middle of a sentence. For this poem, it seems to do both, which causes an inconsistency. There are some lines that are start with a word that is capitalized, a few of them are also middle to sentence, not beginnings. Other times, there is a lower case at the start of a line that happens to be in the middle of a sentence, so it would make sense. I would suggest picking one way and doing it throughout. My preference is to do upper case for start of sentence and lower case for the lines in the middle if punctuation is used to create those sentences. It works better to do every line starting with a capital letter when there is no punctuation/sentence structure or when doing a poem where the first letter of each line spells out a word.

I also noted that you picked some words to have capital in the middle. These are words put as key elements, so Love and Shattered Dreams get emphasis. I think this can work but also has the potential to throw off the reader a little too. As long as the choices make sense, those can probably stay.

Final Thoughts: Overall, this is an emotional poem that different readers will be able to appreciate. I am glad that I was able to stumble upon it. There is room to grow but that is common for posting here. Whether you take any of the suggestions or do anything else to the poem will be up to you in the end.

Keep writing and sharing these words here on WDC.



Sig I bought to put on my reviews.




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Review of Unbirthday  Open in new Window.
Review by Dawn Embers Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with Team Weekly Quickie & Contest ...  Open in new Window.
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
Well, hello there Haunted Sox Author Icon

Thank you for taking the time to enter The Weekly Quickie Contest. I know there are many contests and activities for the first week of September with the celebration of the site turning 25. It is very appreciated that you picked the contest I manage as something to enter and dedicate your time towards. The review is just my general thoughts as a reader. I hope you enjoyed the challenge and keep writing different stories and flash fiction pieces for contests like Quickie.

First Impression: Wow, that is a strange and awkward situation. It starts out very fun and a little naughty with the surprise grab and go to the fancy hotel room. The situation itself, we discover, is on the strange side. Set up as a surprise but ends up being a very different surprise than the plotters had in mind.

Prompt: This does work for the contest because you have a birthday celebration but the person led to the surprise party isn't the one they expect, so it isn't their actual birthday. They got the benefits of the fun the "date" provided, so did get to do some celebrating without knowing what is going on.

Characters/Story: While it's a very short entry, it packs quite a punch considering you got all of that action and stuff within less than 200 words. We don't get to know the characters very much due to the word count. We don't even get names, which for most stories would be a problem. However, it works out fine for this very short flash fiction piece.

The downside to this approach comes in a question of believability. This might be influenced by the number of episodes I have seen recently from shows like Snapped or Buried in the Backyard, it seems like a bad idea from the beginning. I can't imagine feeling safe and going off with a stranger that way. She might have been lucky with the happy ending for her and how he used physicality for communication. But I still struggle with the idea that nothing is said, but she goes with a stranger to fancy places and an erotic hour or so before she discovers the surprise birthday party not meant for her. I know fiction doesn't have to be real but in this situation, I had a hard time suspending those thoughts in order to believe.

Other Notes: That is quite an accomplishment for having a story fit within the very minimal word count. It might lack a little detail due to that fact but you managed quite well to give the reader something that still feels like a story.

Is the Ritz still a hotel? Like it seems something that was heard in the past as the fancy place but at the same time, I couldn't help but wonder if it was real. Maybe growing up in small town Wyoming had an influence on that.

Overall, nice work. Good job with the flash fiction story. I could never manage something that minimal so I can really appreciate the effort you took in creating the item. Well done.


Thank you for entering the Weekly Quickie.


an image made for the contests I host and take part in that are adult orientated


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Review by Dawn Embers Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with NaNoWriMo Plus  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hello Sumojo Author Icon.

I noticed your poem when I was checking out a poetry contest that I hadn't noticed before. The very short poems seemed like a fun idea and this lead me to reading one of your entries. These are just my thoughts and forgive me if I ramble. Thank you for sharing your writing.

Initial Thoughts: I like the title for this poem. It's very fitting within the context of the prompt along with the general subject of the poem. Despite not having a description to give an idea what it could be about, the title itself does well on its own. The poem that was produced not only makes sense with the title but it is something many will relate to when they get the chance to read it.

Contest/Prompt: While I know the contest and prompt since that is how I found the poem, someone who just comes upon it in your port will not have that information. While it's not required, I do find it very helpful for readers and for the writer to have contest information somewhere on the item. I've got back to old stories and poems in the past where I hadn't done that. I can almost remember what was the inspiration but not enough to pinpoint it. Would have helped if I had put the prompt and written down the contest at the bottom.

Most contests require a line count or word count at the very least posted in the item if possible. It helps that they don't require it for this contest and the requirements are short enough it may not batter since the contest requires less than 8 lines. And that is a challenge, to write something meaningful in very short form.

Technical side: While I do like the poem, with the topic in particular standing out as something strong but also wise, I do also have a few comments to offer when it comes to the technical side of the item beyond adding contest/prompt information.

Something that you could maybe consider would be adding more commas to a few spots. You can try a few different spots to test where is the best spot for the tiny pause that the comma can create.

Also, while not incorrect, my brain sort of wants to have "they're" changed to "they are" even if it's a little more on the formal side. The other two shortened or combined ones are fine, like "they've" for example.


General Suggestions and/or Final Comments: Overall, it's a nice approach to a familiar topic. Even though I don't have my own kids, just having very young cousins that I held as babies that have grown up, it's like the blink of an eye. I know years have gone by but seeing the changes in them, it's something different. On the other hand, I did have a little bit of a trouble with the line about them changing with bodies "rearranging". That is a strange phrasing for me but maybe it's common somewhere else. Might just not be an approach or way to say things that I am not familiar with so that could be okay.

I did like it in the end. Nicely done and good luck!


Sig I bought to put on my reviews.




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Review of Yellow Stone  Open in new Window.
Review by Dawn Embers Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with NaNoWriMo Plus  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
Greetings sinbad

I am reviewing your nonfiction item today after looking at your port when we were doing a merit badge exchange. Wanted to see what you had showcased and naturally the title caught my eye. After glancing over this item, I knew that I had to do a full read and send a comment.

Initial Reaction: With the title, I wasn't certain at first if this would just be about stones that are yellow in color, since there are a few of those that exist too, or if would be the location. I like getting other people's view of the world and it is really fun in areas or places that I know. In the beginning, I wasn't sure if you would add yellow stone color and not just the name of the park because then it would call into question the space in the title, but then I got what I was looking for near the end too.


Contest/Prompt: You mention the contest at the end of the item in good detail with not only the link but also the contest name typed out. That is something I have started to do in case a contest closes or gets deleted. Good idea there. And you picked a good topic for having write about yellow as a dominant theme.


Final Notes and Other Thoughts: This is a fun sort of essay but short style approach. Nonfiction but not very school sounding, which is fine there. It does have many short paragraphs. Some might want a longer one or two for variety and others won't even notice or care.

I do have one curiosity when it comes to the technical side. Is there a reason to have a space before the punctuation in most of the item. I see you have it before "...." in spots, before some punctuation (!,.) and the real issue I have is that it's not consistent. Like some might find it odd to have that space throughout but if it's every time, then at least it seems like a choice. It's almost so often that it might be a choice, so then the spots where you don't have the space would be the little mistakes.

Also, at the very end: is "Dum" charades a specific type of charade game, or is it supposed to say "dumb charades" at the end?

This is kind of fun because it might open up conversations for memories people might have about Yellowstone National Park or other little items mentioned throughout. Like, even though I'm from Wyoming, I grew up in the southeastern corner, which is the opposite side from the actual park. We did go to it once when I was a kid/pre-teen and it was a super long drive, or it felt like at the time. The game boy batteries didn't last long enough. That and the younger siblings couldn't handle the extra space of the van so they had to ride the whole way in the car with mom and step-grandma. I got to be with my older stepsister in the van, which had my stepdad and his dad. They talked military stuff the whole time...

Then there is my experience with bison, which wasn't so scary. My friend's family raised a few and so we went out into the pasture in her car and got to see them up close but still instead the car. haha. Yeah, still new to be careful and cautious cause they are big. Though they did sometimes get chased off cliffs in the past.


Fun item! Where else have you traveled? Anywhere fun and recent? I'm curious to know more. *Bigsmile*


Sig I bought to put on my reviews.


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Review by Dawn Embers Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with Team Weekly Quickie & Contest ...  Open in new Window.
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Well hello there, DS Author Icon.

I'm reviewing your story for the Weekly Quickie contest, Round 370 that had a word list prompt. These are just my thoughts in general and reactions as a reader.

First Impression: This is a good continuation and gives the answer to the question I had to ask before the section one of the Three Little Words storyline. Will be nice if they get combined since the stories work together and this is a couple that could really have their own novella or more. It would be fun to see where they go but this is a quirky little romantic battle of chicken. I enjoyed reading this one.

Prompt: Nice work using the provided words within the story. You peppered them in so they are in different sections of the story, which is something I prefer so they don't get jammed in just to fit a prompt. They made sense and worked. For some reason, I will admit that when I think something "reeks" it's a bad thing instead of just a very heavy scent even if that is what it means. Though, I suppose someone could really not like the smell of wildflowers. Good job in making sure they were safe because even with a gag, the need for consent and way to back out if that changes is important.

I recommend in contest entries if giving information at the bottom to find ways to put the prompt and contest. I've gone back to old items and realized I know it was for a contest but can't remember which one. So, the information could be nice for you to have later if you keep the items in your port for years.

Characters/Story: It is a fun story and these characters are dynamic. I like the personality we get so far with both of them. It was nice having this section be her point of view. Does make sense that she would win, though if m/m fiction is right the straight males are missing out on something, lol. He probably doesn't want to give that a little try even with her. I do hope you continue before and after this part as it seems like these two could create more fun.


Other Notes: While I appreciate you having the contest round and date in the item description, it would probably better to put a detail about the story so readers know what is going on with the fun little battle the characters are having.

On the nit picky side, near the beginning when she focuses on him as "centre stage" my brain struggles on "centre" cause it wants to change it to center even if it's okay in the current formatting.

No other comments. I really enjoyed the story overall. Since only two entries were submitted for that round, there are no winners competition wise but it doesn't mean this wouldn't have stood at chance at winning. It was a good story. Nice work!


Thank you for entering the Weekly Quickie.


an image made for the contests I host and take part in that are adult orientated


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Review of Cow Concert 2025  Open in new Window.
Review by Dawn Embers Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with NaNoWriMo Plus  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello ChristineB Author Icon

I noticed your entry a few days ago in the Writer's Cramp contest during the birthday celebrations. It was a fun prompt so thought that I would give a review on the poem that you entered. These are just my thoughts and forgive me if I ramble. Thank you for sharing your writing.

Initial Thoughts: This is a fun poem based on a cow focused prompt. Even though the title was the only requirement of the contest, well that a music genre, it kind of meant there had to be something fun about cows. What else could a cow concert involve? Maybe something referencing cows but I think most of us, story or poem, went with cows finding a way to have a concert.

Contest/Prompt: Since I'm also someone who entered that day, birthday week it can be a popular contest only beat by the occasional day during poetry weeks, I am well aware of the prompt. The contest did require the title and a music genre. The animal and contest entry genre set up also made sense. I had to look up "Bolero" just to be sure but had a vague recollection. It does work in the concert realm to give an idea what the poem involves. And you definitely had a cow concert so that is a good take on the prompt.


Imagery: The cows are fun to imagine and you gave them many details to showcase personality in this fun imaginary situation. You gave a few of the cows names, making them stand out and allowing instruments provided, plus costumes, to give them a human approach.

Just had a tiny confused moment with how the instruments are "voiced" because it doesn't match my experiences with music. I've been in choir and played clarinet in the band. Never would have called playing an instrument "voiced" or voice but I guess this is an attempt to say they are signing as if they are the instruments instead of playing the instruments.


Final Thoughts: This is a fun story type poem that doesn't have to follow a specific form or rhyme scheme. It was a nice approach to adding personification to cows and giving the judge who put out the prompt a fun poetic approach. Nice work!



Sig I bought to put on my reviews.




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Review of Wither  Open in new Window.
Review by Dawn Embers Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with NaNoWriMo Plus  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (3.5)
Hello elysian Author Icon

My name is Dawn and I decided to review the item that I found on your portfolio. I noticed that you are new to the site and wanted to share some ideas over the poem presentation. These are just my thoughts and forgive me if I ramble. Thank you for sharing your writing.

Initial Thoughts: The random starts with your name cause I like your username. There is also a few other who have chosen Elysian so I wonder if you will find them if you wonder around the site.

This is a nice option with the title choice. While the description is a little lacking in detail, it was a good approach because it gives a little intrigue. While I don't often like the approach of the "you" talking directly to the reader, in this case with the description instead of the item (poem or story), it works. Makes someone want to know what they need to decide for themselves.

Form: When it comes to the poem, on a technical side, this is where you could try out a few different things to see how it could help with the overall reading of the poem. I do like that you did the full sentences, which isn't always done with first posted poems. My own didn't have sentences, in fact, though that was a super long time ago. I liked that you didn't capitalize the first letter of every single line because that gets overdone and isn't always needed.

One thing that you could consider is to divide the poem into a few different stanzas. Instead of having it be one long mass, breaking it up could give a few moments to pause. Doesn't have to be divided into four lines, which might be common and each stanza doesn't have to have the same number of lines. You can divide it in any way that you see fit.

One last suggestion to consider is maybe changing the font size. The standard one is okay but can be hard for some people to read on their phones or computers. I recommend either 3.5 or 4 for any item posted on here and I'm doing my best to fix that for my own items too.

Final Thoughts: I like what you have here and the voice that you are starting to develop. it's a good starting point. Keep writing and I hope to stumble upon more items from you in the future. *Reading*


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for entry "Tattooist" Open in new Window.
Review by Dawn Embers Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
Greetings. Maid of the Mist Most Macabre Author Icon

I am reviewing your blog entry today as part of "Blog Week Birthday Bastion 2025" Open in new Window. [E] and because I wanted to go back to look at entries from previous days. I picked this one in part because we chose the same image prompt that day. Nice! *InkBottle* *Quill*

Initial Reaction: You picked a good prompt for the day and I know that it was a challenge. All of the images have potential but this is one that I picked too. I know it was from a previous day but I went back since I might have missed some on that day with all of the other activities doing on. You present a different take but also a personal viewpoint, which is the purpose of many blogs. So, it was enjoyable to read what you thought about the topic because it's a different approach to my own.

Contest/Prompt: You do well with the prompt because you took the image of the guy giving a tattoo and started to wonder what it was like. And the answer does vary depending on artists as to why. I couldn't be a tattoo artist because I can't draw very well, am more of a painter, so the idea of using a vibrating pen that pushing ink into skin, not a good idea. Some people grew up around it, others go outside of how things were growing up. While TV shows have lots of forced drama for the reality competition style, if you check out Ink Master, at times they will talk about why they got into the industry. For women, it's still a challenge like many industries, but they have their different paths for what drew them to the field too. The show and the Angels spin off, will help give some ideas to why people might be a tattoo artists and some of the skills they have. Though my sister also mentions how they have an ego too (at least most of the ones on the show do).

Most do the apprentice approach or find the equipment. They either practice on people or there is technology and other options to help with the training part.


Final Notes and Other Thoughts: Even though it's a blog entry, I am going to recommend something that I am trying to remember to do. Increasing the font size will make the posts a little easier to read. I'm going with either 3.5 or 4 when I remember. Usually 3.5 but lately I have started doing my stories in 4 because I found the chapters and items easier to read, myself, when I go back to them. It will just help like when sleepy for no reason people have to try and comment or review. *Sleep*

I know how your daughter feels. I don't have many but since my main section of tattoos is located on my left arm, It is very visible. Working in pharmacy, one might think it could be an issue but it's a sleeve of flowers, which meant it wasn't a problem. Even when I was working by Beverly Hills, didn't get any complaints. I did have an elderly woman who might have been jewish or I think she knew some Farsi, anyways, she had a tendency to reach over the counter to touch my arm. She said ti was to make sure it wasn't growing (the tattoo). Sort of like when women are really pregnant and some people just inappropriately don't notice signals and touch anyways (even as they are asking for permission). Something about a tattoo on a person makes certain people just want to touch. And I'm personally not a fan of that in general. I am a personal bubble, Kuzco "no touchy!" type. so yeah... no touchy.

Rant aside, great choice in prompt and I enjoyed reading your take on the subject. Nice work!


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Review of Crazy Coffee  Open in new Window.
Review by Dawn Embers Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Greetings. {suser:

I am dropping a review, instead of a comment today, as part of "Blog Week Birthday Bastion 2025" Open in new Window. [E]

Initial Reaction: This prompt for the day tended to get people talking about coffee. You did a little in the beginning and I'm glad that you branched out into something else so that I could learn a new thing. Granted, I say this is I am drinking my second cup of coffee for today but it was necessary (the coffee). *CoffeeP*

Also, after glancing over the thing you are using for the contest/challenge as a whole, I do find it interesting that you have picked a folder and static items instead of using a book. I know that you can do books and link one as a blog in a secondary account but doesn't mean you have to do it that way. With a different challenge (musicology anthology), some who have smaller portfolios due memberships might post more in a single book while I do folders and static items. So, I have done the similar route before.

Contest/Prompt: You did well with the prompt for the day. It was something you had a good personal connection when it comes to the Eurovision. Even though it's not something I know much about, I can understand your connection/relation to the music and video. That gave you a good branch to take so that it wasn't a post just about coffee. *TV*

You also gave me some things to look up. I might need to see the bloke in a dress, which also isn't that uncommon since I used to go to drag shows in Long Beach and there is a bearded performer there too. I am a fan of the power ballad, so you have my attention.

Final Notes and Other Thoughts: This is a great post where you take a topic but are able to branch from it in a way that makes sense for the connection but also goes unexpected for some. Only thing that might help a touch is to make the font a little bitter for when the eyes are tired and trying to stare at things on WDC. A 3.5 or 4 size helps.

I do not get to watch Eurovision but I'm developing my drag king persona, which means I should follow that advice for sure. I need to get my crazy outfits put together (adding little "stones" to things or glitter) and have some fun. Plus, mmm popcorn. *Popcorn*

Well done blog post and I should check out the rest in the folder. *ThumbsUpL*



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Review of Within me  Open in new Window.
Review by Dawn Embers Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with NaNoWriMo Plus  Open in new Window.
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
Hello there Shan_writes Author IconMail Icon

I was going around checking out portfolios on the site and come upon yours. After looking over what you have posted, this particular poem caught my attention. I have some thoughts to share and hope that you don't mind me offering my opinion for ways you could develop your skill in the poetic sense.

This is a good poem but there are some elements to consider and ways you could rewrite or edit to make it even stronger.

Rhyme/Rhythm: I like the way it goes between the longer lines and the ones that are much shorter with only maybe two words. That is nice in the beginning of the poem and something we also see at the very end that brings about a good connection.

Have you ever thought about maybe trying out different stanzas instead of having it as one long one? Have a little space between sections will give a different flow but also sort of force pauses wherever you give that space. It doesn't have to be every four lines, even if that is a standard length. The stanza can be a variety of line lengths.

Flow: This does have some flow but at times the questions might alter that since it is focused so deep in a personal point but also something others will find relatable. Aside from stanzas or adjusting lines if you wanted to work things through and rewrite to see where things might develop could come on the technical end.

Technical: Overall, it's not bad in the way of the technical from grammar and such. There is an element that could add more to this and that would be in the way of punctuation. It's not bad in the format but for me, with how each line has the capital letters and with how there are so many sentences or questions in the poem, using punctuation would maybe help.

Another addition you could consider is picking a different font size. The one right now is okay and my eyes aren't bad with the computer usage. I do find that 3.5 or 4 is a better size for items to help other readers.

You have some nice poems posted so far and I hope that you will write even more soon. Have fun and keep writing. *PenO*





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Review of Dreams  Open in new Window.
Review by Dawn Embers Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with NaNoWriMo Plus  Open in new Window.
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
Howdy ScaryBee Author Icon

Wow!

I saw this posted with the topic over our first items posted on WDC and it's fun to see someone who has been on here around the same length. I also joined in 2005 so posted a couple items I happen to still have from those first months. For fun, I'm sending a little review.

Initial Thoughts: This is quite impressive. Not sure on your age when you started or story, I'm already forgetting any details since I opened the poem this morning and am doing the review at night. Anyways, I am amazed that in the beginning you were doing forms like the Diamente. I'm only familiar with it because Bard's Hall required it last month. My own start was more free verse style until I branched out to the trial of forms in poetry. So, well done in something like this as it might seem easy with the length but having those requirements can be challenging.

Imagery/Topic: The choice in dream and nightmare works well for poetry but also manages to have a unique twist. It's not the overly expected but done in a way that really works. Technically speaking, a nightmare is a dream just one that isn't very pleasant. This makes it work with the start with nightmare but thinks darken fast. The word choices will pull readers in because they can probably relate to what is said even in the minimal form.

Final Thoughts: This is a great job for a poem. I like the approach and I'm guessing the update that got the font choice/size adjusted to make it easy to read. Well done!



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Review by Dawn Embers Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with I Write  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Well, hello there KingsSideCastle Author Icon!

I get to review your blog post, which is located in this book item, since you posted for "I Write in 2025 " Open in new Window. [13+]. I'm also another blogger taking part in the Blog Bastian challenge, so it's fun to share thoughts and see a different take on the same topic/prompt. Thank you for sharing and picking an interesting day that some might even see as a controversial topic.

Initial Reaction: Considering your background, it both makes sense and is also interesting to get your opinion on the topic of AI when it comes to our world (WDC) and beyond. Most of us have been using it for years in different ways, including the good ol' Google search.

Perhaps you know better links for the creative side or site options. I've seen some pretty bad ones but not had as much experience with good image creation or story writing from the artificial side. But editing and technical items, that I can see more use from my perspective.

Contest/Prompt: You do well with the prompt. We were required to discuss AI and ChatGPT in relation to writers. This gives your thoughts and personal experience in the perfect form, a blog post. We might not have planned to talk about it that day before "Blog Week Birthday Bastion 2025" Open in new Window. [E] gave us the prompt. but it is something thoughtful that we all can relate or disagree over in many ways. Well done.


Final Notes and Other Thoughts: You have some good thoughts here. I have even noticed the fake items situation. On Facebook would see some AI created movie posters. Some were actual movies but weirdly done. Some were movies that looked super fake but somehow did exist. A few others, however, were not real.

Now the role play thing is interesting as a fantasy writer but it reminds me of something my ex would know more about. He did the online computer role play stuff along with actual in person at anime cons. It's not something I have experience in so feel out of place tech wise and beyond. Still, it's an interesting topic and others probably can relate to in that experience.

You do well with what might be a controversial topic and laying out your opinion based off personal experience. Nice work!



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Review of The Worst Thing  Open in new Window.
Review by Dawn Embers Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with NaNoWriMo Plus  Open in new Window.
Rated: 18+ | N/A (Review only item.)
Hello Max Griffin 🏳️‍🌈 Author Icon.

My name is Dawn and I noticed your item when doing a little search on the random read feature. I hope you are having a good week so far. This is just my reaction and comments based on my thoughts over the very short poem. You caught my attention and curiosity, so you get to have me ramble too. *Wink*

Initial Reaction: This caught my attention not just because it's very short, which does have appeal some times in these reviews. The title is another source of interest and I wanted to see how you approached with the cinquain. I am familiar with the form though hadn't done one in a while.

Form: Thank you for sharing the form along with giving details on the connection to the novel. My personal preference is to have that information at the bottom of an item so that the poem or story gets the main focus. I'm torn with this example because it does come in handy to know about the heading for the chapter in the novel. I questioned who Arpad Laszlo was but not quite enough to click the link to check it out. I assumed maybe a character or just a philosopher in the fictional sense, wasn't quite sure. IT is a nice touch having that detail after the cinquain as an extra detail. But the way it's started with the "in case you're not familiar" that line makes me want it to be after the poem instead of at the beginning. I dunno. Just my thoughts anyways.

Final Thoughts: You have created a good thought here and something insightful with this sort of poem.

One other random thought. I know it's common for every line of a poem to have a capital letter but since they aren't the start of the sentence, it's all just one sentence, it bothers me a little with them being that way. I would almost want the only capitals being "The" at the very start. At the same time, that also might look weird. Can never please everyone when it comes to the minute details of a poetic appearance.

Anyways... Nice work with this little item. It is interesting and if there are more like it in the novels, those will be nice features to add. I have something sort of planned that way for a novel too but they are the "rules" that knights are supposed to follow. I liked the item and it is nice to see another cinquian.

Three years later, still enjoyable. And I am curious about those novels. hmmm *Reading*


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Review by Dawn Embers Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with NaNoWriMo Plus  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
Howdy!

This is a fun idea but there are some minor things, which is why I'm sending the comments as a review. I like checking out different contests on the site because I want to enter as many as possible to support other contests on the site.

I am going to start with the biggest one. The item choice you made here is a static item. The only way people could maybe enter the "contest" is to send you an email, a comment or send a review (like this one). In the rules, you mention that people can enter through email. Near the end, however, you state that you will announce when it is closed in this "forum" when you aren't using a forum./contest entry

Technically, a contest could work as a static item if you get the entries by review. Have a set deadline (or in this case I think you are just waiting for the 10th entry). You could even post when it is closed by adding "closed" to the title and description of the static item.

An easier way that you will see most people use is to actually use a forum. You can have all the information you have posted in the static item in the body of the forum and it gives people a place to post, instead of doing entry by email.

You can do it this way but another might be easier.

Font: While the green font does bring attention and is easy enough to read, it's also a little distracting when it's the only color for the whole item. Have you considered maybe using different font colors for different sections. Like maybe have the rules be in black font and have the Awards part be in Green. Just an idea but something to consider. Not only can you do font colors with a contest but you can also add emoticons to make things fun.

I kind of like the idea of the ending with so many entries. 10 is a good number. While my contests struggle to get one or three entries, this might work at least a time or two. Does sound interesting for a contest and I might try to put something together even though "finish short stories" aren't my strong suit.

Want to wish you good luck with the contest.


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21
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Review of Broken souls  Open in new Window.
Review by Dawn Embers Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with NaNoWriMo Plus  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Hello {suser:

My name is Dawn and I found your item. There is something about it that caught my attention and I decided to send you some thoughts in a review. These are my thoughts and opinions. Thank you for sharing.

Initial Reaction: This was interesting. I like the title and it brought me in to the static item because I saw that and the fact it is listed as a monologue. Had my attention. It got my curiosity going so here I am, now reviewing the item. While it caught my attention, it wasn't quite what I was expecting for a "monologue". Instead, this comes off to me more as poetry. But the topic and the word choices did do a decent job so I read the whole thing.

Form/Style: To continue on the topic of the form or item type. I would recommend switching the description type from monologue to poetry. It's only one "stanza" but the choice of going with the 2 words on some lines and a few more on the others. It's a free form and there are plenty of people on here that like the approach in poetry including a contest or two.

It also has consistent choices, which are appreciated. The first letter of each line has a capital but you went no punctuation for any of the lines.

Final Thoughts: It's a good start and something that different readers will enjoy. I don't have any technical points other than maybe one more minor recommendation. You could work the lines some more, see if there are different ways to affect the flow but that is if you want to play around with things in the poem. Totally up to you.

One thing you could consider doing is having both words of the title be capitalized. That is just standard practice for titles. Mentioning you would like feedback is nice but most of us are okay with that if any item is viewable for others. It would help more to put details in the "about" section so that gives people a reason to check out the thing in your portfolio.

This has an interesting start and feels like there is a personal pull behind the words. Some people will relate and that is a nice approach with whatever kind of item you want to call it either way.

Nice work.

Sig I bought to put on my reviews.




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22
22
Review of Hibernate  Open in new Window.
Review by Dawn Embers Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with NaNoWriMo Plus  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hello shaeve Author Icon

My name is Dawn and I found this poem through the site's random read feature. It caught my attention with the first stanza and by the end, I decided to do this review. It's just my thoughts and reaction based off personal opinion.

Initial Thoughts: What I liked about this poem is the visuals that it provides. There are things in it that many different people will relate to in the concepts of fall with the world drifting from summer to winter. It is pleasant in general. I think other random readers will like it overall.

Form: I didn't see a specific form but it does follow a sort of way in that there are four lines per stanza with minimal words used in each line. It isn't set up for sentences, but that is okay.

Imagery: This is one of the elements that is strong in this poem. It's not the most creative it topics or word choices, but each stanzas has lines and words that give images to the reader.

Final Thoughts: Things are fairly well done with the poem. I do have a couple of suggestions as to things you could maybe consider adjusting or changing. One thing you could maybe do is to change the second line in the first stanza. Something about using the same word twice in different ways but in a row is a little distracting for me. So could keep "turned" for the first line but maybe there is a similar word instead of "turning" for the second.

I also feel like the very last line isn't as connected with the poem. I get you are sort of moving through time with the poem but pristine new year brings up middle of winter. The poem seemed to mostly be about fall, which is the pathway to get us to winter. Though maybe the title doesn't match either, now that I think about it except that one might start getting ready to hibernate in fall. I just get more autumn vides compared to getting ready for sleep away the harshest months.

Anyways, These are just some ideas and things you can develop or use in the future. Thank you for sharing this poem and hope that you have fun developing the lines used. Have fun and keep writing.



Sig I bought to put on my reviews.




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Review by Dawn Embers Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with NaNoWriMo Plus  Open in new Window.
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
Hello JACE Author Icon

I found your poem from the random reads section. I'm familiar with the contest and thought that I'd share my reaction to your diamanté poem. Thank you for sharing your writing.

Initial Thoughts: You got my attention with the title of the poem and the approach you took with the two prompt aspects, the forest and desert. Since the title is a question, it creates a thinking point for the reader. The words chosen to fit the very specific prompt also give particular elements that will have people pondering different thoughts.

Contest/Prompt: I am familiar with the contest because I have also entered Bard's Hall. This is going to be a tough month because there are so many entries and it's such a short poem. It helps that you have the form listed at the bottom with the details so people who aren't familiar with the prompt will know why it is set up that way. This is a good use of two of the options given for topics but Las oone I have seen in a couple of other poems, going from forest to desert. The title may be something that gives yours a different twist.

Form: Looks like you did well with the form and it wasn't easy because you have to use the particular type of words per line without just seeming random. I had to look up "Sylvan" because the first thing that comes to mind with that word for me is the Sylvan Learning Center. Turns out there is also a lake with that name in South Dakota. Didn't know about the shady part. So, I learned something new.

Final Thoughts: I do like the title of the poem. It draws me in and creates a big question. If you take away the trees and things rot, is it still considered a forest? hmmmm The only tiny issue that I had was connecting the title with the poem other. Not that it doesn't exactly make sense. I can see it but at the same time, I almost feel distracted by the title.

Maybe it is the wasteland seems early because we need things to happen first, like the wilting and rotting, to get to that point. Or something. Not sure. I'm just rambling

Nice work!


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Review of My Singing Canary  Open in new Window.
Review by Dawn Embers Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with NaNoWriMo Plus  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello PinkLime Author Icon

My name is Dawn and I found your item when looking for a random read. It caught my attention with the title and beginning lines, so I felt like it would be nice to share my thoughts. Thank you for sharing your writing on the site.

Initial Thoughts: I like the approach with this short poem. There is something poetic about the canary. This makes for a good subject. You do take a sorrowful approach but it's one that works well in the approach of a poem. I do also understand what you mean about maybe something feeling not quite set in the poem so that you're not 100% satisfied. Not in a way that things are bad but just that nagging of something off or two.

Imagery: The use of the image connected to the item so that it sits above the poem or in your profile for those that might come upon it that way is a good choice. I like that it's a colorful image even if the poem isn't a happy one.

Final Thoughts and Suggestions: Overall, it's a good poem. It has some good lines and makes uses of punctuation in order to create the pauses or spots where a reader can breathe. I do have a couple of suggestions that you might consider if you wanted to do a little work on the poem. I know not everyone rewrites or edits poems but will add this just in case.

The first spot that I am iffy about is the forgotten memory line. The use of the long line after memory makes me feel like it's going to embrace a middle thought before returning. Like maybe we get a memory then back to the same one of the poem with another long line to close it off. I don't get that here. I do see why you go to the canary having forgotten and lamenting over that element but it just doesn't connect at that point as strong.

I also wasn't sure on the flowers being dead but I thought they were still blooming line as it stands because of the question mark at the end. I feel like that almost is a spot where there is potential to increase the poem. Make it longer with a few more lines or play with adding more stanzas before bringing us to an ending. There is the potential for details. How can these dead flowers look like they are blooming. That is where my mind goes at least.

There is some development that could make it even better that could also be helped with a little time. Since this poem is new, I would suggest taking time away before even considering developing or editing an item. It's good to have a break before reworking anything.

The poem is one that I did enjoy. I like the very idea and approach taken from the line of a singing canary. I would even say that I like the title as the first line, which usually I would think it unnecessary. This might work well in this case. Nice work at creating the poem and hopefully you are having fun placing items here on the site.

Keep writing and see where the poetic word takes you. *Bird*



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25
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Review by Dawn Embers Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with Team Weekly Quickie & Contest ...  Open in new Window.
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
Well, hello there, DS Author Icon.

Thank you for taking the time to write something for the prompt from my contest. While you did technically miss the deadline for the week, I do know the challenge that comes with writing these stories for the prompts. No one else entered the week, so no winners but I am happy to give a little review.

First Impression: This is a good attempts and something vaguely familiar. I'm not sure if I've read these characters before but they did seem familiar. I could go back and look to see if you entered previous rounds with them but eh, that takes effort. I think this is one that some readers will enjoy but it also left me with a few questions.

Most expect the three little words to be "I love you" but it seems that there is something else implied that doesn't get said.


Prompt: This month, I tried to make the prompts a little easier. Just needed to use the words that are listed in a way that makes sense for the story. You do have all of the words and in bold to make them easy enough to find. Two are at the very end, with can seem like they are done at random to fit in the contest but it does make sense. Awkward wording but makes sense.

Characters/Story: The characters have potential but this one also works well almost on its own except for the unanswered question. I sort of got the idea like the couple might be skirting the edge of BDSM but not quite in the know for things. At least the beginning comes off more safe word dare situation but from my reading, making safe words long and phrases isn't ideal. In fact, many use a coding system like red, yellow or green for status checks. That is only relevant is they are sort of trying to be on that end if she would want things to end or not as the three words.

Granted, at the title point, there was the thought about the romance three words. Spoiler if people reader reviews before stories but you know... And while they do say it in the story, it's so natural seeming for them there isn't really much huzzah made so that doesn't feel like what the title and initial thoughts referenced.

Other Notes: I don't have too much to add with this particular story. Just a couple of minor points.

One thing that I notice right away, and it might be because it's something that I'm fixing myself on my own stories, is the font size. It's a little smile. My eyes were a little problematic today too so I ended up using my glasses, though I'm near sighted and rarely need them when on my laptop. It would help for the variety of readers to put all stories and poems posted on here to a size 3.5 or 4 instead of the basis one that the site automatically uses. That will help make it easier to read.

The very end, it's just a me thing but the wording with the 2 words used in the dialogue come off odd. I don't know if you worded it that way to sound natural but could be trimmed down as it's passive this way and might even be missing a word after tired. Maybe that got trimmed on accident. When I have to edit down to fit a word count limit that happens at times. But good start and thank you for entering. If it had been about 12 hours earlier and other people entered that week, you would have had a chance at placing, depending what the others produced of course.

Again, thank you for taking the time to even write this based off my prompt. I hope you at least enjoyed the challenge and are happy with what you produced. Keep trying and maybe I'll see you this week or during the WDC birthday week. *Bigsmile*


an image made for the contests I host and take part in that are adult orientated


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