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Printed from https://shop.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/emiliyawolfe
Review Requests: ON
42 Public Reviews Given
42 Total Reviews Given
Review Style
I usually give long reviews (between 300 and 500), but I tend to avoid saying that I think a work is bad. Instead, I usually point out a few ideas on how to improve, basically a review! So if you're looking for a harsh critic, that'd be hard.
I'm good at...
Pointing out spelling mistakes; saying what I like about character and character development, plot and storyline, and style of writing. Also giving advice on grammer.
Favorite Genres
fantasy, sci-fi, action-adventure, occasionally romance and horror.
Least Favorite Genres
smut, graphical content, fashion.
Favorite Item Types
poetry, novel, short story
Least Favorite Item Types
articles; dry historical things; teen vampire romance.
I will not review...
graphical content, erotica, rude (in the sense to a type of person, not a character being rude to another).
Public Reviews
1
1
Review by Emiliya Wolfe Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (3.5)
So this is a good start to a story, I like the setting and the characters, but it sort of feels like the second chapter, or the second book in the series...
Sauri is a good character, a wise woman that doesn't speak a lot but very knowledgable. However I was confused at the term 'sage of the earth'; it seemed like she could manipulate air more than earth (or is it the earth as in the world?)
the others are good but slightly two dimensional, but I guess that's normal when you're only at the start of the book.

grammatically I think your story's good, though you repeated yourself at 'Sven was staring at the pine trees'

but good work and I look forwatd to reading more of it!


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2
2
Review of Cleave poem  Open in new Window.
Review by Emiliya Wolfe Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (5.0)
Very good poem, it's a really clever idea to do three poems in one, and it's really impressive that you managed to make each one good! They all sound natural, and not like you were trying too hard.
I actually can't say much else, it's almost perfect!!


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3
3
Review of The life of a sim  Open in new Window.
Review by Emiliya Wolfe Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with Shadows and Light Free Verse G...  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Exactly what I thought would pass through a sim's mind!
Good job!
Really interesting idea :) And yes, we have all been guilty of locking a sim in a room until it dies (or in the swimming pool until it drowns)
It's a free verse poem (correct me if I'm wrong) and the fluidity is really good, it just flows, with odd disjunctions between thoughts, just how I imagined a person's mind would be. I like the way each verse is another step in the Sim's life.


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4
4
Review of Process  Open in new Window.
Review by Emiliya Wolfe Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (3.0)
I quite liked this poem at first, and then wasn't sure.
I liked the rhythm and the fact that it's short and to the point, but I feel like it's so short and to the point that the meaning shifts throughout the poem, and in the end, I didn't really know where it was going, or what it was conveying.
I think the problem I have with it is "discovery births battle, severed lines die"
I don't quite understand the "discovery births battle", because no matter how you put it, it's still mind-boggling! x)
However, keep up the good work, because as I said, it has a lot of potentiel!


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5
5
Review of The Unicorn  Open in new Window.
Review by Emiliya Wolfe Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (3.0)
I liked the rhythm of this poem, it sings in your head when you read it. However, I don't understand how wanting to know a name makes you evil? Maybe develop that idea? Unless it was meant to be slightly confusing.
There was one spelling mistake: "too plane" -> plain, but other than that, I congratulate you on all the rhymes, and grammer.


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6
6
Review of The Devil's Dance  Open in new Window.
Review by Emiliya Wolfe Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (5.0)
I fell upon this poem completely by chance (it had the same name as one of mine) and I think it's beautifully written.
I like the words you use, and it feels like you've painted a fantasy world without even meaning to.
Carry on writing! I look forward to reading more.


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7
7
Review of The Gifts  Open in new Window.
Review by Emiliya Wolfe Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hey *Smile*
Good story with a twist, I wanted to read more! Is this a one-shot, or just the start to a story?
It was brutal in that kind of day (though your world is fictional) and I can very easily see parents pulling off a ploy like that!
There were just a couple of errors, mostly grammatical, that bothered me throughout the story.
Firstly, if I've understood properly, Stana and her mother have the same name. Wouldn't that be fairly confusing? Or is it done on purpose?
Secondly, when you change to the conditional tense, you slip into the present, saying "will" instead of "would"
Lastly, either this sentence is missing a full stop, and so doesn't make sense, or you haven't finished it?
"'You know…' the older boy said, making short work of a knife and a piece of wood"


But all in all, good story, keep up the good work!


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8
8
Review of Heartfelt Inertia  Open in new Window.
Review by Emiliya Wolfe Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.0)
hey :)
I liked this poem, it had a kind of rhythm to it that made it seem almost musical. Also, you have a really rich vocabulary that really shows the reader how you feel in very few words, making each word important.
The only grammatical error I can see is when you say "her and I" at the end, when it should be "she and I"
Anway, good poem, and keep writing! :)


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9
9
Review of The Nymph  Open in new Window.
Review by Emiliya Wolfe Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (3.5)
Hello :)

I'm a big fan of fantasy, which is why I clicked on your story, and it seems almost like a fairytale, though more like the old stories.
First of all, it was a good story, with the two people intertwined: the boy and the nymph.
I liked the fact that the nymph was unkind, and selfish, and the way you referred to her as an "immortal demon" and a "patron saint", because it underlines the paradoxical and dual nature of your story.
You feel sad for the little boy trapped in the cycle of course, but I feel even more sorry for the nymph who can no longer love, though I might not agree that love only replaces loneliness.
I also liked the epilogue at the end, which gives the sort of moral of the story, as if it were in a book, and a wise old man was adding a footnote. I can almost imagine the voice-over at the end of a film, telling us about life.

However there were (as there are in any story) a couple of flaws, notably in the grammar. Your sentences, though I really like the repetitions like "the boy, the boy on the bank", are very long, and you quite often use "and" after a comma in a sentence more than once, so it creates a kind of list of things you want to say, but are quickly strung together instead of flowing, which makes the sentences halting.
Also, you tend to repeat words in a way that doesn't seem to be on purpose, like " it covers one of her eyes. I am glad she doesn’t show both eyes for I don’t think I could stay relatively dry eyed". The word "eye" is repeated three times.
Finally on grammer, sometimes I think your use of punctuation is slightly off, though I couldn't explain why. Again, maybe because the sentences don't flow as well as they should?
The last thing is pretty small: I'm puzzled about the fact that a boy of eleven can fall in love? Maybe he felt compassion, and pity for the nymph, and wanted to take care of her, but I don't think he would love her...

Anyway, all in all, good story, and keep writing!

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10
10
Review of Reversion  Open in new Window.
Review by Emiliya Wolfe Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hey :)

First of all, good story! It was short, and sweet, and it reminded me slightly of the old Irish folktales, which seem to always end in heartbreak. Actually, it's almost the reverse of one, since in your story a woman is taken to the merman, and not the other way around.
I found it a little disappointing in the end, as Caleb seems to immediately forget about his wife when he sees a new girl. Is that a suggestion that mermen are fickle? Anyway, it made the story seem all the more sad, because he who seemed to fall apart at the end of their marriage got over it immediately..
Anyway, it was a pleasant read, there was good grammer, and it was well written, so keep on writing! :)


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11
11
Review by Emiliya Wolfe Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (3.5)
Hello!

First of all, I love your adaptation of a fairy-tale, and the little twist! Poor Tansy didn't really stand a chance...
There's just one little error; when you said that Tansy's family was not titled, you then called her father "Sir", which is a title.
Other than that, good story! Write on!


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12
12
Review by Emiliya Wolfe Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
As I mentioned on the Prologue, I really like your book so far and I really hope you'll continue it, as that seems to be the hardest thing to do whilst writing a book.
Soledad's character seems promising, and whilst I can't exactly comment on any of the others yet, I'm looking forward to getting to know them when you post another one!
Is Marina her sister? I think that might be interesting; to have one girl gifted with the sight, and the other enjoying life as... well as a normal person I guess :P
As before, I haven't found anything to point out in order to make it better, so just continue with what you're doing, and I hope you get a lot more reviews!


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13
13
Review by Emiliya Wolfe Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Wow I really like it!
I thought I should review before going on to the next chapter so as not to spoil it.
I don't have any constructive criticism if that's what you're looking for, and please continue writing!
I'm interested in knowing what the ruby medallion means, and what happened to Magda and the fortune teller once the pirate died.
Does Magda ever question her mother?


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