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Printed from https://shop.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/flcomeau
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63 Public Reviews Given
63 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
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Review of I am Human  Open in new Window.
Review by flcomeau Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (2.5)
I'm a robot 037

I enjoyed Your Poem
Thank You For writing it and sharing.
This piece is strong and confidant.

Write On!

Robot 037
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Review of Twisted  Open in new Window.
Review by flcomeau Author IconMail Icon
Rated: ASR | (4.0)
Hello Black Widow,
I missed a request to review a writing of yours a couple of months ago. I figured I would sneak in and randomly select something else. The Dark Poetry is a sweet spot for me. :)

I enjoyed this poem, it flows well and rolls off the tongue nice. It also made me stop and think for a moment. As I was going to tell you, I found it creative. Then it hit me, you could be deriving these feelings, from real life.

In that case, what would I say. Nothing.

Either way, you are wise, and this was well written. Thank you for sharing.

Write On!
FLComeau
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Review by flcomeau Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (3.0)
Hello Celticsnow,

I came across your work as a random review. It sounds like you had a good day upon writing this piece.

First thoughts, it's nice to be a wanderer.

What I liked, the life experience you presented from this day, and I felt you did well in sharing this experience. Getting your readers to feel your emotions, and thoughts. Is not easy. I feel you did well.

Final thoughts, I liked this piece, it was a pleasure to read. Great Job and thank you for sharing.

Write On!
FLComeau
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Review of Education.  Open in new Window.
Review by flcomeau Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (3.5)
BeautyBehindSecrets,
Hello, I reached your item by random review. I felt it was an interesting topic, and as you pointed out. Education means different things to different people. For example, I came to WDC solely to learn how to write better.

Sure, I could have taken writing classes, however, this was my choice at the time. Making choices, I learned from my education. I also learned from living, that when I look back on my education. I read somewhere once, and agree with the following:

"Education is about teaching the students to learn, not what to remember".
Also, in the area you outlined as mistakes. I leave this to life, to teach us. I have come to learn to be true the fact that. If you make a mistake, and do not learn from it, you are bound by universal law, to repeat the same mistake, until you learn from it.

There may be some exceptions to this, however, I find it is a rule of learning, from our mistakes. Even better, is seeing someone else make a mistake, and then learning from it ourselves. I am the youngest of eight siblings, and we all made our fair share of mistakes. I had the opportunity to learn from many of theirs. ;)

Again, interesting topic, thanks for the read, and the hook. ;)
~FLComeau
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Review of "Do it for Me"  Open in new Window.
Review by flcomeau Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (3.5)
Hello sfttarget,
First, thank you for sharing a portion of your life, it sounded real. You are correct also, as everything happens for a reason. This does not mean we will or may ever even know the reasons.

I would only be guessing and therefore will not, it does sound to me as though you were prepared to receive a special book later on in life, one which you were able to understand and relate too.

Life has a funny way of guiding us as such and I am glad to hear that not only did you not get terribly maimed, but you learned a lot from your growing up and how to relay your feelings about anything in general ahead of time and in a comfortable manner too you.

Thank you for sharing, I enjoyed reading.
Write On!
~FLComeau
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Review by flcomeau Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (3.5)
Hello ss_writings,
I had some free time and this item came to me by random review. I just wanted to say wow. This poem, sounds as though soldier wrote it, to be sent home. I liked it. I hope you enjoy writing. Please, Write On!

~FlComeau
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Review by flcomeau Author IconMail Icon
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
Hello,
I reached this item for review, as though I was guided by divine intervention. With that, allow me to play a little, and perhaps, I can give you a little bigger or brighter smile. I feel you are happy, yet, you have concern. I do want to hear about “this”. All of it.

I would not ever look for a way to be rid of you. Not knowing that you’re in love with me. You describe a feeling of my slipping away. Past your eyes, and through your very fingers. You may very well be wrong, and perhaps you are still dealing with unlearning things, or battling an internal struggle.

That can’t ever feel well, now about the beginning. You say you were bored? OK, I will agree with that, however, you were more than bored. You were hollow. What you call a “Hi”, I call a form of acknowledgment. I am pleased that you like my being open and straightforward with you. I felt you were excited on some level, my heart, began to flutter.

You and I did connect instantly, and you are aware why. I can tell you, ever and always, we share these feelings for only one another. We both changed our ‘routines’ and basic ways of life, to accommodate each other.

There is not a night, morning, or a single moment in between, that you are not on my mind. While there were several times, we seemed less than “adult” in the ways some things were handled. I still everyday smile and dream of ways to ‘keep you on your toes’. With a smile as you enjoy, and a knowing of belonging.

I too, want to scream, shout, and carry on about how well you make me feel. As for how many ways, I can tell but one story, I enjoy this, and even more so, for you. As you laugh, you smile, and at times, you are aware, I do it for you.

You say stereo typed you, I feel as though I called you out. I seen your game, and you are no stranger to the evil that men do. You must be aware by now, what we share, is not only uncommon, we are powerful. You and I alone, are intimidating, not to each other. To anyone who may know us.

I did laugh at your “blu tooth” pairing analogy, however, we must teach. You know I enjoy teaching, as well as learning.

You fell? While I am not for certain, when specifically, you fell. I knew you were done. You fell hard, I know this, as I too, fell hard. Some days, I can hardly breath, you take my breath away. Even with only a smile, I know what’s behind those smiles.

Without comparing as I have known no comparison. It is true, every day and night, I am with you. You speak of a short time of misery, My Love, Life is short. What is misery, but a lifetime of pain. We have felt it enough, and when it comes to insecurities. These are some of our tests I spoke of. We don’t do it consciously. There’s a reason for that.

For example, every time, I see a code, or even a kind gesture between people, and animals. I see you, in everything I do. My Love, I could litterly write a romance novel on us alone, and you are the star, in the center of my universe.

My Delight, this planet, it in itself, is hopeless. The people knowing it or not, need us. We are One, and We learn together. Babygirl, you are my family, this is no fantasy. It is scary, and we have the courage to overcome any obstacle, and the love needed to do anything we desire.

I do so love to carry on and think about you and want so baldly to talk to my friends and family about you, and how good you are for me. I want to boast about how I plan years in advance on ways to make you understand, I am always in love with you. Once I was guided to you, I knew from that day, you had to make a choice. You got to see, and feel me, for yourself. As I felt, and feel you, from anywhere in the Universe.

I will tell you now, you are mine forever, always and ever, and in every life time. There are things I want to do with you, and our families, the lists are really endless.

Baby, don’t ever think I would ever give up on you or us. I have at times, pulled away, so you could think, and feel for yourself. Times like this, are some of the hardest moments in my life.
I feel pain inside when we are not together, and I am fully aware, we belong to each other.

I gave you my word once, I told you, I saved the best of who I am for you. Only you, as I see you as my wife. You will kiss me, and we will embrace each other, and we may not ever let go of any given hug. I am yours, My Love. I lack ‘words’, however, I know who I am and what I am capable of.

Thank you for this letter. It’s beyond words, how you touch me, and how we make love. I love you My Angel, every breath I breath, I see you in my minds eye. I told you once, when you are ready, you will know. I hope you are having a good day. May my words, bring you a smile, and perhaps a tear or two of Joy. You are My Life, and I want to see you, and never leave you. I am beyond words at the moment.
I want to hold you. I hope this helps you My Love.
Love,
Francis
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Review of Unclear  Open in new Window.
Review by flcomeau Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (3.0)
Hello IAMWATIAM,
This is a classic example of less is more. You described the basic, yet most complex thoughts and struggles, we as humans endure throughout our lives. Some advice, for you, as it has done well for me, and I have seen it work for countless others. If you choose less, and feel more, you may begin to find the answers you seek.

We all have our choices to make, however, there are times when time itself does not allow time for a thought out decision. Times like these the most, you will find yourself relying in instinct.

One other thing, I feel you will benefit from. Make a list, My first one, was ten (10) items. 'I AM' statements. When you begin a sentence with " I am", you own it, as well as the reactions or actions resulting in making a statement, often times, subconsciously.

Here's a few of mine, I hope they resonate with you, and help you out one day.

I AM Grateful
I AM Happy
I AM Joy
I AM Fun
I AM Peace

Play with it and see how it goes.
~FLComeau
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Review of Day 1  Open in new Window.
Review by flcomeau Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (3.0)
Hello sfttarget,
For certain, you overshot the sentence! However, you did put together a small and power packed event, which in itself, was enjoyable to read. Thank you for sharing.

~FLComeau
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Review of Dream  Open in new Window.
Review by flcomeau Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (3.0)
Hello maliapens,
I reached this item by random review. Welcome to WDC, as you mentioned this is your first piece on this platform. When it comes to motivational, you nailed it. Great Job! May you enjoy writing, and continue to do so. The world needs more great writers.
Write On!

"My first piece on this platform. A motivational piece."
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Review by flcomeau Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 18+ | (2.5)
I Wonder,
To start, welcome to WDC! I am an author here and am currently three and a half years member here myself. I actually came to WDC to learn how to write, on a professional level with a large audience in mind.

I bring this up, as when you write, I want you to think about your audience, who you are writing to or for. In this case I was under the impression this was a "children's story".

My first impression, and to be fair, this is only my opinion. I didn't believe I was reading a children's story, children's horror perhaps. You did manage to balance the violence out as you chugged along.

As I have no idea the age group you had in mind, you rated it E for everybody. Personally, I wouldn't read this to anyone under eight or so. Life does have its difficult times, and there are violent times and places, I understand. Again, it is labeled as a children's story, to me, that's a narrow ally in which to work from.

Moving on to sentences and paragraphs, this is not my specialty, however, I can help you out. Sentences, when you write. Get in the habit of reading what you are writing, and sound it out, especially if you are unsure of anything in particular.

While you need not read the whole story out as you go, you should a great portion of it. Here's why, some sentences ran into others, and your punctuation could use some work. No worries, I am not with the grammar police. I too, still work on this, as I have time.

Paragraphs, and sentences. As your story unfolds, it requires more room. This is evident in this piece. You look at it, and at first is this huge block of words, which begins to fragment into paragraph sentencing. What I mean by this, is if you can find consistency, as in my review for example, your eyes will follow my flow easily, as compared to not knowing what to expect.

When you read a block leading into a couple of sentences, to complete paragraphs. it is difficult to read it, the way you, the author, wanted it to be read. Again, sounding it out will help with this also.

I also noted at the end, you had hopes that lessons may be passed on. I feel through my own reading and interpretation, your hopes in this case, may have been lost to the story appearing to have been broken into pieces as I went along.

Overall, I think you put good effort into this piece, I believe had you spent a little more time. Also being armed with this knowledge, created a memory from your story, which would surely have stayed with your readers. I believe that was your intent.

I am going easy on you, as you are new, and I applaud your efforts at attempting to pass on knowledge or lessons through story telling. I think with a little more effort, and some guidance, through reading some of the other writers works here. You will acquire the skills I write of.

If you have any questions feel free to reply, or email me anytime. Also browse the website here, as there are wonderful tools as well as people willing to help.
I do enjoy helping and I hope I was able to enlighten you some, as telling a story and teaching. Is a difficult task. I commend your effort for trying, I think you did well, for being new. I know you are capable of much more.

With that in mind. Don't stop doing what it is you love most.
Write On!

~FLComeau
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Review of The Abandoned  Open in new Window.
Review by flcomeau Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (3.0)
Hello,
I reached this item by random review via "Read a newbie".

First thoughts: What is this?
Allow me to go into some detail. Which I feel is what this piece lacks, more detail.

I don't really understand this: "her sister's answering cries"
As the cries do not seem to be answered at all, making this contradictory.

When writing, I find if you are looking for something more, but are not sure what to include. 'World building' is my go to, as you can never provide too much detail about the world you have created. It gives your readers a sense of being there, with the characters.

I was also at a loss as to the special powers, of the girls. Some more creative detail about this soul inception technique, wouldn't hurt either.

Overall, I liked concept of this piece, I mostly felt you did yourself little justice by taking something that sounds like it could have been great, had you spent a little more time on it.

With that being said, I do applaud your effort, and encourage you to continue to learn, and write on!

~FLComeau
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Review by flcomeau Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (3.0)
Hello,
I reached this item by random selection via "Read a newbie".

What I liked: Your word play, it appears to me, you had some fun.

I think the overall flow was OK, however, I did get tripped up, as though I was reading a tongue twister. If that was your intent, well done. Poetry generally is fluidic in my experience. Though I am no poet. I do write prose, which is often confused with poetry.

Final Thoughts: TV ... is the new WMD, that is why you feel as you do. ;)

Write on!
~FLComeau
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Review of I am  Open in new Window.
Review by flcomeau Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (1.0)
No, you are not alone. Here we are family. Perhaps try writing?
More.




~FLComeau
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Review of Treason  Open in new Window.
Review by flcomeau Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (2.5)
Hello Ahmad,
Many times, I am told, my reviews. Are longer than the stories, I've read. Reasons of which vary by many. I see Potential here, It is the only reason for my review. I am busy myself. but when I see some, like us, at various stages. I do what I can. I remember, 'waiting for reviews'...wait till you start nail biting. ;)

You certainly are merely flexing your archaic , yet artistic and instinctual muscles...Flexing, and 'Shaking if off'.
Write On! Brother.
Good Job.
:)
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Review by flcomeau Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
Why Stop now?
Ever tell yourself that? I find, I am saying it more often in recent years.

First, Hello. I'm Francis, we may have met, there are many names. This Item, I selected by Semi-Methodical choosing, of sorts. First, I was looking to learn more about this Poetry Contest. Again, I remember the name "Prosperous Snow". Perhaps you reviewed one of mine, back to you. In Kind.

I was also looking for 'Grounding'. The selected image by you, did just that.
For only a moment later, I hadn't realized, you launched me back out there. I've been far out so much now, all I see...Is Stars.

Crawling back into the womb. You Connect Humanity, with Mother Earth. I like the approach you choose. More so, your ease of delivery. In such few words. Can only be achieved by someone who knows life. They understand Life... With an Extraordinary ability, to communicate this to others.

Write On!
he he

Well Done
~flcomeau
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Review by flcomeau Author IconMail Icon
Rated: ASR | (4.0)
Black Widow,
Short of WOW...Term "Kodak Moment" comes to mind. Twas a term not long ago, Created by Kodak company. In which taught us how to 'capture time', in a moment, if you will. I believe you have done this, with out the use of a Camera, Only Words. Words, are Powerful. When used Properly, they can build, or Destroy, as you efficiency illustrated in this piece.

The moment you have captured in time, is your Time, we all share it. We feel it too, as unto you many feelings or worthlessness. 'Society' to follow your point, is not solely to blame. I do cover much of this in my own writings, and would encourage you to 'Browse' through.

I could really write a three hour review here, however. My Time is short for now, Like here, I am needed almost everywhere. With talents LIKE YOURS, valued so, Much More...
I had to Stop. ...To tell you, you are not alone....
You are a great writer, with priceless Tools at your Disposal. Instinct, Insight, Understanding, Compassion, Fear, Revenge, Hope, Faith, and Love. More.
Never Stop Writing!
FLComeau


'Hind thought' Be on the lookout for 'Too Much"
as it relates directly to what you refer to as 'Intensity'.
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Review by flcomeau Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (3.5)
Hello,
This item came to me by random review. In an effort to support out Artists, I am being proactive and reviewing whenever possible. My time is always short, it seems.

Redlive122,
I think you are on to something here, in regards to a fabulous children's story, book worthy. While the content is 99% there, it is you my fellow artist, who may need some more tools, to add to your skill set. Let me show you.

Lets walk this way, I like how well you have been able to color in the images in a readers mind. This is no easy task, and you nailed it, like a Pro!

Now, to deviate slightly, Catch my tennis ball in your mind. Now hold it, I'll get back to it. When it comes to 'Flow' types are many, degrees of no temperature are varied. It's when your reader feels your Flow, or "Catches it" if you will. I'll take that ball back now...Thank you. You want your reader to have a seamless reading experience, no"'speed bumps'.

To remedy this, get in the habit of speaking your lines out loud. Find a comfy place to do so. As you herself, is as your readers will hear your story. If it sounds good, and slows well for you. You readers will Love it.

Here is one example of where you're flow, smashed a barrier, in my mind.
"understood it was sad" The Dragon went from a Beast I could not get enough of, to an item. Do you follow? Several references thereafter reinforced this opinion. Again, it is only my opinion.

Next "before flying off the ground, and into the sky."
Because it's a children's story, which helps shape young minds. You tread tricky waters, of knee deep. As I remember reading the story, the context used in the manner of delivery was perfect. Then I hit wall 2. Again, I know it is a Children's Story, and I believe it is this time in life, they need to be properly educated.

With that said, it is common knowledge, to fly. One must leave the ground. I sense a search for words here, and this is what you came up with. Feel free to let me know if I am off, as I review when ever I can, to date. I am 100% accurate, according to the authors.
couple of ideas, meant to inspire, nothing more, as your work is solid. Anyway,
"upon taking flight once more, to the sky"
"Before the dragon launched into the sky"
Just two examples.

Next one, again, there's nothing wrong here. I'm just beginning to crack that Glorious mind of yours, open.

"A gust of wind blew through the city, crackling every leaf in every tree in the city"

I feel your city is small, and boxlike. it has no life. Another tricky thing to do, is us the same word, in the same sentence.

++A gust of wind blew through the city, on this quiet night/day...The sound of leaves crackling could be heard well past Main street. As though every tree had the trembles, it was surreal.++

This one make me Giggle, While I know it's a Children's story, minds so clear and pure. will know, no better. I am careful, how I word my writings. I do know how "Stella got off" For example. You are writing to masses, see it. Then bare that thought into mind, before you proceed.

Just a few examples, nothing more. You're a writer, for this, I know, for sure.
Say it out loud, or think it out load, every line. I assure you, it is a process, once the skills are properly tuned. You should not notice, less you see your reader, as they read. And the look of curiosity, they can't put your work down. That feeling for you. No 'earthbound' word, will describe, accurately.

Not only do you get a good score from me, I am giving you Bonus GPs, as well as submitting your work, to Good Deeds get cash. For your hard work, you deserve something.

Whatever you do, never stop writing.
Good Luck
FLComeau


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
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for entry "March 10th, 2017" Open in new Window.
Review by flcomeau Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (3.0)
PureSciFi,
I have reviewed your blog entry:
"Military Planets
and War Planets"

This item was selected by me as it was your most recent update, and I also wanted to see some of your work. With time being short, lets get to the good stuff.

What I liked about this entry, was your descriptive examples of what's out there, in our Universe. The differences between the types of military to the planets and how each is affected.

One thing that paused me for a brief moment, I felt as though you singled out or 'spot lighted' females during war. Perhaps you did not, and this is my own perception. My pause was to wonder why, briefly.

This entry has great flow otherwise, and makes for good reading. More importantly it makes one think. Often times, when I write a story for example. I do so to provoke thought in my readers. I think you have achieved that well in this piece.

My final thoughts regarding "Military Planets and War Planets" short of mentioning the Star Trek franchise, I too see story and movie components within. As you have described, our culture is smothered in war media, which is why I see many opportunities in just this one piece. I know you refer to another piece in this regard, however, you brought it up.

I enjoyed reviewing your work, I look forward to reading more.
Best wishes,
Francis

Write on!
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Review by flcomeau Author IconMail Icon
Rated: ASR | (4.0)
Greetings fellow visionary,
I must say, your use of analogies has leaned me this way. Points made, many and true. What would one do, when they come after you? I enjoyed this essay as it does ring true. Both in what matters and what we need to do.

Being new to writing myself, I know reviews are important, though I noticed the more I publish, the less seem to come through. I have had many, be it enough. That my writings I put out are just the right stuff.

Insatiable? Is something to be aware, for the bear is no bear, but something else out there. Reminds me of two hunters, out in the woods. One said to the other "is it black or brown, I can not tell"

They didn't hear me approach them, as I heard them dwell. Twas no bear they saw across the landscape, no animal of being. It was only a mirage, of something they had dreamed.

For your review, I enjoyed, it was written quite well. I am new to writing, if you can't tell. More to my point, and to keep things in line, nothing will change, nothing in time.

Short of a miracle, or genius of some sorts, the world we live in will die, yes, it's everyone's fault. I myself have time very limited, under pressures from sources, similar to a bear laying on me. I myself must do what I do, what ever is necessary.

Should time allow me, to meet you again, I look forward to reading your work, one day my friend. We are not alone, nor are we enough, to band together, to change all of this stuff.

It's also not impossible, to repair what's been done. For I've said it once before, and times often since. Everything starts with One.
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Review of Home  Open in new Window.
Review by flcomeau Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (3.0)
Hello,
I have reached this item by random review. My strong points are in raw feeling, emotion and imagery. There are others here who are proficient in spelling, punctuation, grammar, style and more.

My first thoughts: A poem about home, how sweet.

What I liked: How you compare freedom with being caged up in life.

Final Thoughts: For it to be home, there must be love.

~Francis
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Review of Writer's Block!  Open in new Window.
Review by flcomeau Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (2.0)
Hello,
I have reached this item by random review. My strong points are in raw feeling, emotion and imagery. There are others here who are proficient in spelling, punctuation, grammar, style and more.

My first thoughts: You need to get out and not think about writing. It will come to you.

What I liked: Knowing, we are not alone. Many people suffer from what you refer to 'writers block' as well as a few other blocks mentioned.

Final Thoughts: When you find yourself, straining for a thought, a theory or the next plot. Maybe even if you just don't know what happens when the door opens. When you're in so deep, you can't see straight, or think things through. Take a break, go for a walk. Even just twenty minuets can clear your mind. Best Wishes, and Write On!
~Francis
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Review by flcomeau Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (2.5)
Hello,
I have reached this item by random review. My strong points are in raw feeling, emotion and imagery. There are others here who are proficient in spelling, punctuation, grammar, style and more.

My first thoughts: For your first song you say you have ever wrote, I think you did very well.

What I liked: The flow of your lyrics, the visualizations presented.

Final Thoughts: I felt the author of this song, loved someone very much and they lost them, prematurely.
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Review of Halloween Night  Open in new Window.
Review by flcomeau Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (2.5)
Hello,
I have reached this item by random review. My strong points are in raw feeling, emotion and imagery. There are others here who are proficient in spelling, punctuation, grammar, style and more.

My first thoughts: The boy had a lot of adrenaline, and really wanted out of the woods.

What I liked: Your creativity in the way you describe the Halloween costume.

Final Thoughts: This was an interesting read. Keep Writing!
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Review of Scarce Attention  Open in new Window.
Review by flcomeau Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (3.0)
Hello,
I have reached this item by random review. My strong points are in raw feeling, emotion and imagery. There are others here who are proficient in spelling, punctuation, grammar, style and more.

My first thoughts: I admire your approach. Connecting ancient times to current day is very important. I feel you made the connection, to those who already know these facts you speak of.

What I liked: You have taken on a very ambitious idea, and your trying to provoke thought in relation to mans deepest mysteries.

~Francis
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