Wow! This story gave me the chills. I started reading faster and faster and broke out in a cold sweat just reading this! I loved how you wrote it, the story line, the characters, everything! I also like how you included all of the thoughts the main character had, since they're thoughts anyone might have, which, for me, made it seem like I was the character and felt everything in an amplified sense as a result.
The only thing I might suggest would be to include even more frightening events and some more surrealism, like things coming to life, or a glimpse of whatever got Johnny and Becky. Also, it could be even scarier if you dwell even more upon all the horror and scariness running through the protagonist's head. If you tell the readers some of what he's feeling, it will create an even scarier sense of doom and horror.
Overall, it was a truly amazing read! Keep writing!
Printed from https://shop.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/froth11
All Writing.Com images are copyrighted and may not be copied / modified in any way. All other brand names & trademarks are owned by their respective companies.
Generated in 0.05 seconds at 3:02am on Nov 15, 2024 via server WEBX1.
View Portfolio
Visit Notebook
Send Gift Points
Awards
Badges
Send Email
Community Newsfeed
General Discussion
Sponsored Items
Book of Trinkets
Static Items
Books
Groups
Interactive Stories
Audio
Campfire Creatives
Community Notes
Crossword Puzzles
Documents
Folders
Images
In & Outs
Madlibs
Photo Albums
Polls
Product Reviews
Quizzes
Survey Forms
Web Pages
Word Searches
