At first the ending seemed far fetched but you left it mysterious and interesting. Good job! This was very enjoyable to read. Thanks for the good writing.
This story is very touchiing without being maudlin. It's good to see an Iraqi point of view. The writing is sophisticated and I enjoyed it very much. The ending is understated and closure is not locked tight, which adds to the story's appeal because it still leaves (however sparse) room for hope. That adds to the poignancy of the overall story. I really enjoyed reading it--thank you. (Oh--can you use semicolons instead of commas sometimes?
This is wonderful. What a suprise at the end. It's a slice-of-um-life that inspires and sends me back to rereading for clues. This is beautifully written, with passion and finesse. As good as anything I've seen, and better than almost all. I'm giving it a 5, not because it's "perfect" (whatever that is) but because it's energetic, picturesque, and intelligent. What more could one ask for?
Wow. This was a very absorbing story, and didn't fall short of its promise. You escaped the pitfalls of this kind of story, avoiding trite names and situations as well as prefabricated plot and character lines. The story goes deeper as one reads, giving some understanding of this vampire race and its honor and its needs. There is definitely depth here. As for the writing, it's superb. (Just a few typos--especially at the very end) I can't really think of a flaw in this wonderful story, but I haven't given a 5 yet and am reserving it for . . . .
I will definitely read the rest of this novel. It is enchanting and rings true to me--my fantasies of Atlantis are similar. Your dialog and characterization are really good--I can picture and get a real sense of these people. There's nothing stultified or artificial about them. The descriptions are interesting and overall it's an entertaining read that wants me to read on. Why the hyphens everywhere?
This is a wonderful story, engaging and satisfying. Your turn of phrase is very good. And the story rings of authenticity. There are a few minor typos, and use its instead of it's for the possessive. I look forward to reading more of your work. Rave on!
This is funny, and gets the reader back to the probable origins of wakes. It's therefore mythic and ironic at the same time. The voice is complex and works well. The dialog is realistic and unfettered, keeping a good pace. This is a fun read. I'd like to read longer work by you.
Your writing voice is great: conversational and witty. Your descriptions further your plot well. The story has a good pace and keeps the reader wanting to know what happens next. The very end is weakened by the lame comment about the gopher. Maybe a comment about the irony that underlies the story would work better. I really like this story and would recommend it as good reading.
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