When I accepted your request, I was not expecting a book. That said, I didn't have time to read the entire work, but did enjoy the style, effort, and thought put into it. It is a decent feat to write eleven chapters of a story. I look forward to taking time in the future to finish reading what's here and what your write further into the story. I am not going to hide the total excitement i have for this rpoject and where it's going. I can't express how good this story is. Feel free to send me more of your work for review if you want. My only critique would be to do another grammar check before you continue. While the grammar isn't horrible by any means, I did catch a few point where a word was misspelled. Good Work and write on.
So where to start? Lets start at the begining. You are you. Your options aren't limited and no one will tell you what to do next. Your fear is part of a known stage in every persons life that is called the "crash." The crash is when you leave the house and have to make decisions on your own without anyones protection or guidance. This is normal. You fear it because there is no book that points you in the right direction (though if there were, you wouldn't listen to it anyway because you would find a couple of parts that don't match what you want or how you think. There are no rules to life except the ones make. There are choices and consequence. You will not make every choice and you will not suffer every consequence, but you will experience both. Consequences are not bad, they are also normal and are sometime in your favor. Do good work and get a promotion. What you need to do is look at what you are good at. I am also a jack of all trades and lack the drive to do much of anything. That said, I make decisions based on how I spend my time when I am bored. Since I watch movies and play video games for fun, I am going into that industry. You have to find what you are good at and what you enjoy doing on your offtime and use that as a starting point. What jobs fit that description of your choices, where are these jobs at, do you have the knowledge to get those job or do you need schooling. If you need schooling where are the schools in relation to you. What is the cost of said schools? You start at step one and just start walking in whatever direction you want. And because there are no rules, you can change the direction at any time.
Aside from all of that, this was a very good peice of writing, I can tell you were writing from the heart and that requires courage that some people dont have. Write on and Live on.
Not what I was expecting from the description, but that was really awesome. You have talent and this story has almost unlimited potentail. Keep it up and let us know where you plan on going with it. I look forward to seeing what you bring to the table.
A documentary on metaphors? I will admit I didn't see that coming. I am glad you did it and you were able to pull it off quite nicely as well. I didn't notice any blatant grammar errors, but I am not really the person to ask about that. I look forward to more works from you. Keep calm and write on.
I like the idea and the direction it's going, but feel like this is part of a bigger project. I would be interested to see where this goes, but I am happy with where it is at as well. I can't see any errors on the technical side either. Have a good day and Write On.
I assume from the title of the work that you were discussing finding sad magic, but I would have preferred you make that a little clearer when you are writing the poem. Now that the critiques are out of the way, nice job. I saw nothing technical that needed to be fixed and the idea and settings were expertly carried out. Write on.
So you are Disturbance. I am Ghost. The formatting and writing of this piece was spot on and greatly enjoyed it. The idea put forth by the piece is far more interesting to me though, admittedly. You stated that you are the Disturbance. Does this mean that you were stating your view for everyone to see, or were you speaking from the eyes of a character or idea you created? Either way, it was a very fine piece. Continue your work.
This was nice. I could easily follow what you were talking about in this poem. I do question the way the writing is set up. I had trouble going from one idea to the next, though I could still understand it enough to like it a lot.
Printed from https://shop.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/ghost2012
All Writing.Com images are copyrighted and may not be copied / modified in any way. All other brand names & trademarks are owned by their respective companies.
Generated in 0.07 seconds at 4:15pm on Dec 26, 2024 via server WEBX1.
View Portfolio
Visit Notebook
Send Gift Points
Awards
Badges
Send Email
Community Newsfeed
General Discussion
Sponsored Items
Book of Trinkets
Static Items
Books
Groups
Interactive Stories
Audio
Campfire Creatives
Community Notes
Crossword Puzzles
Documents
Folders
Images
In & Outs
Madlibs
Photo Albums
Polls
Product Reviews
Quizzes
Survey Forms
Web Pages
Word Searches
