This poem was great for a variety of reasons. The rhyme and rhythm of the piece were enchanting! As a writer of free verse, I am always enviouis of people who make it easy to believably rhyme.
Second, the imagery was spot on--I could see the mischievous toddler tormenting his elderly grandparents. Excellent
Third- the voice of the poem from the POV of the toddler was consistent throughout. A great piece!
I can relate!! I liked your rhyming scheme and particularly liked the way you ended the poem...sometimes it makes it more interesting to change the form within the same work..shows imagination. I thought it spoke volumes and resonates feelings everyone can relate to. Keep it up!
These feelings are very palpable...and believe me, time does heal a broken heart, though we're often left with scars, right? You're good with poetry--poetry is a way of allowing the reader inside, through imagery...keep writing! You have a way of letting the reader know exactly what's going on.
You know, the sign of a good poem is one in which you can relate, the feelings resonate truth. Photgraphs often represent good times and when things go bad, all that is left is the remnants in the pictures. You captured that feeling very well in this poem. The imagery is vivid. Found two typos--retrive =retrieve (line 4) dispair=despair (line 12). Other than that--well done
It seems that pain can be on both sides of a marital split. I liked your very interesting form and rhyme scheme, (once I got the hang of it); it started out, like a slow moving train, then built up momentum to the end. No punctuation made it read faster after the beginning. Haven't seen this form before and it caught my attention.
I'm a big fan of emotion through imagery and I was able to feel firmness at your decision to stay your course. Good stuff--keep it up
Welcome to the site! You'll find good people here. You're poem has an interesting visual style and I enjoyed the imagery. Just a few typos:
line 5: "what's" instead of whats
line 16: "insane" instead of insaine
line 26: perhaps you meant to say"breathe" for the first part.
Otherwise, great effort
From someone who actually hugs the tree outside my home, I enjoyed your tree analogy and the line starting, "I was afraid someone mighy see me". I thought your final line was an intriguing question--something I've questioned myself.
What I think is most profound about poetry as a literary form is that the reader can see something of oneself in the work, or it makes them think. Change is both scary and exciting..the one thing it isn't is boring! I enjoyed your work!
I enjoyed this piece. What is important to me as a reader is my connection to the work and the imagery it invokes. I've felt this way many times and I liked the way you personified love. Good stuff.
I liked this! Thought I was the only one with these particular emotions! (smile) I can feel the desperation in the speaker's voice as she awaits her lover's call. And I feel the angst she has over how SHE feels about it. Personal experience, maybe? Great use of imagery to get the reader to enter the skin of the speaker. For an analagous work of my own, see Madness in my port.
Nice work!
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