Very descriptive! I could almost taste the chocolate myself. Is this vignette part of a series or is it stand alone? With your styleof writing you could easily build a whole series based around the silver box.
This was nicely done, although I don't think the graphic or the bold type add to the story, and at times are distracting. Keep up the good work! I must now go find some chocolate!
This is a sweet metaphor, but I don't think its thought out in its entrirety. Your descriptions make it as if love is like a song and life is like a dance. Either way it makes for a fascinating thought and I could see this being developed into a full story with underlying metaphor.
This is a great story and, as you claimed, it is even better on the second reading! I like that you never outright state that the Sentry is a dog, but rather rely on the reader's intelligence to pull all the clues together. That being said you might want to throw in a more "doggie" term at the end for chow, such as "puppy chow" or Kibbles and Bits. While I understand that you were talking about a dog, I did have to read the last few paragraphs twice (three times total) to make sure I was correct.
All Writing.Com images are copyrighted and may not be copied / modified in any way. All other brand names & trademarks are owned by their respective companies.
Generated in 0.07 seconds at 2:09pm on Nov 21, 2024 via server WEBX1.
View Portfolio
Visit Notebook
Send Gift Points
Awards
Badges
Send Email
Community Newsfeed
General Discussion
Sponsored Items
Book of Trinkets
Static Items
Books
Groups
Interactive Stories
Audio
Campfire Creatives
Community Notes
Crossword Puzzles
Documents
Folders
Images
In & Outs
Madlibs
Photo Albums
Polls
Product Reviews
Quizzes
Survey Forms
Web Pages
Word Searches
