It was wordy but not long winded... I feel you needed the length to unburden our character sufficiently and honor her voice.
I have never experienced rape or anything near it, but have lived the experience with close girlfriends and I believe you have captured, most elegantly and with raw passion, what they went through... especially the first 24 hrs afterwards.
Thank you for writing such a brave and poignant piece... and giving words to a horrific experience that, unfortunately, too many girls and women experience all over the world.
Wow! This is great!
It is very rich in sentiments I can completely relate to! Campbell's tomato soup and grilled cheese sandwiches are what takes me back (dad's night to cook).
I thought it flowed extremely well; had a good pace and was easy to connect to.
This is such a gorgeous picture!
What a wonderful addition to your reviews.
I'm still trying to figure out how to load pictures, create sigs etc... slowly but surely my portfolio is coming into shape!
I have a question, if you don't mind, where do you find the pictures to accompany your static items? I've used WDC stock, but I'd love to use some of my own or at least find some more original pics.
I thought this was clever, and it all makes sense to me!
My favorite line because of the great aliteration: "A general idea may be the genesis of a whole species of specific ideas"...
This reads very well out loud.
I liked the repitition in the first paragraph; grabbed my attention right away and set the "pace" for the piece.
Liked all the questions in the third and fourth paragraphs, as they not only invited me to participate, but helped me to get a feel for what you were getting at.
I felt it was very well thought out and excellently laid out; I had no trouble following the stream of inner musing.
Great read; thoroughly enjoyed it; glad I found it!
This poem is beautiful in content. It has a great rhythm, when read aloud, and flows very well. The light punctuation helps to let the reader have some freedom... which I think is in line with the message.
Fav lines: "The thunder's desperate pain" and "Offers solid ground in shifting seas". The first because it describes what thunder im general sounds to me; the second because it flows off the tongue so fluidly.
I love this story! I've got a similar one with a boy in high school I really liked and ended up one night scaring the bejezzus out of him; drama class was always weird after that... but never mind, back to your piece!....
It flowed and moved, in the same fashion, as a live conversation with a 16 would (I have a 16 neice; she sounds the same!).
The story is cute, succinct and a light-hearted easy read.
I thought technically it was sound. Good punctuation and grammer; I liked where you breaked and created new paragraphs.
This is great!
Lovely imagery.
I like the way the poem is structured visually too.. it caught my attention immediately.
Thank you for posting this.
~Katrine
I really love what you have to say! Beautiful sentiments.
I'm wondering though, if the structure could be altered with punctuation and line breaks so we can feel the flow of your thoughts easier and clearer?
Thank you for an inspirational read!
~Katrine
This was a great read. .. really tight writing!
Everything flowed nicely and it was extremely entertaining. I kept going waiting for this poor guy to get a break! Grammer and punctuation was so neat and tidy; made it easy to read and follow.
You really had me until the end...
I think I felt disappointed to discover it was a dream. I wanted it to be true...
I loved that you used a hippocampus in this piece!
Thank you for an entertaining read!
~Katrine
Thank you StoryMistress for the info! I'm slowly but surely getting through all the emails regarding the vast details of who, what, where, when, why in this virtual landscape WDC!
This was important to read because I understood about rewarding people for reviews and how the auto points work; but I didn't realize you need points to buy merit badges and awardicons.
I truly loved the message and power of this piece! It has a lot of grace. I found the use of many hyphens just a bit distracting... made me lose the flow a few times during my first read through. I went back and re-read the piece again so I could fully appreciate your
Rhyme.
It was a very positive note to end my day on; thank you!
This is just wonderful!
The rhyme makes it easy to read and flows gently. I mention this because I am not a fan of rhyme in poetry unless it's a limerick or about something funny. You have captured a very sweet and touching story without making it feel corny. I live on top a mountain surrounded by trees and birds are a huge part of my daily living: wrens, chickadees, ravens, osprey, red-tailed hawks, and even turkey vultures have become companions of sorts to me.
Thank you for the opportunity to know your work through reviewing mine. I will be reviewing more of your pieces soon (I am a dance teacher and love kids).
Thank you StoryMistress!
Once again you have answered all my questions. I wasn't sure if I had enough points; and I wasn't sure if it was "ethical" to entice Reviewers to with points. You've helped clarify both points ad I am feel confident I'm doing the right thing now!
~ Katrine.
I have only been on WDC for 2 days. I have posted 2 poems and the reviews I have received have prompted me to change my poems and make them noticibly better! I take the reviews very seriously and am grateful for them. I now want to help others by becoming a GREAT reviewer.
This article is clear, open hearted, rational and logical; easy to follow. It answered EVERY question I had. I'm SO glad I read this and will refer back to it often.
Thank you most Sicerely!
~ Katrine.
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