I really like the intense emotion put into this. It is very well written but there are a few things, the inconsistency in the length and lines in the stanzas threw me off a little bit, but at the same time gives it an almost rant like quality, a firebrand if you will. I very much enjoyed this piece, keep on writing in a free.
That is a phenominal piece! The flow is nice and I especially like the added lines in the "chourus" like stanzas. This was well written and very clearly puts across an image that is both haunting and sadly all too common. By your intro I can see that this is from something else you've written, can't wait to see it! Keep on writing in a free world!
Wow, I've read and reread this a dozen times trying to decipher a meaning. I will have to read the other three perhaps. Good stuff though, flows very nicely though the rhyming scheme confuses me a bit. Still, I can't wait to read more of your stuff! Keep on writing in a free world!
I am impressed. The rhyming structure seems a bit off in places, but the overall flow of the poem was good and I enjoyed reading it. It gives me the feeling of a tortured relationship, maybe addiction or mental health issues? I have been through this kind of relationship before except she didn't worry about any of the crimson lines she left lol. I like this a lot. Keep writing!
Printed from https://shop.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/iwilltrytotry
All Writing.Com images are copyrighted and may not be copied / modified in any way. All other brand names & trademarks are owned by their respective companies.
Generated in 0.09 seconds at 3:56pm on Nov 24, 2024 via server WEBX1.
View Portfolio
Visit Notebook
Send Gift Points
Awards
Badges
Send Email
Community Newsfeed
General Discussion
Sponsored Items
Book of Trinkets
Static Items
Books
Groups
Interactive Stories
Audio
Campfire Creatives
Community Notes
Crossword Puzzles
Documents
Folders
Images
In & Outs
Madlibs
Photo Albums
Polls
Product Reviews
Quizzes
Survey Forms
Web Pages
Word Searches
