I think this brief story successfully conveys a strong emotional impact with well chosen words that also manage to, sentence by sentence, lift the veil on what is taking place. I like it, because despite the personal tragedy, the final message is heart-warming. My only reservation is about the omission of some of the articles, such as "bouncing off hood" instead of "bouncing off the hood", or "Smile lit" rather than "A smile lit". I wasn't sure if those omissions were due to trying to get your story within the word limit or rather part of your literary technique to make each sentence strike to the very essence of the message. Nevertheless, if that detracts from the story, it is only in a very minor way.
Printed from https://shop.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/jalan
All Writing.Com images are copyrighted and may not be copied / modified in any way. All other brand names & trademarks are owned by their respective companies.
Generated in 0.06 seconds at 7:25am on Nov 05, 2024 via server WEBX1.