Hi yellow- I guess this not really a review of the visual of your chosen handle as it is my observastion. The yellow rose is beautiful. It's most common symbolism today is its accociation with joy and friendship- hints of the older symbolism, jealousy and fading love, brought here from Europe, still remain attached in the right context- if you are from Texas the song "The Yellow Rose of Texas" brings to mind both historical and legendary accounts of the Texas War of Independence.
The title of the your rose is "Love if forever" , I cannot help but wonder why you chose Yellow Rose as a handle- you do not have a bio posted so we really no nothing about you to make a connection to the flower- BUT- the picture is not crisp- the rose is faded in contract to the picture's title, I find myself wondering if this is intentional, and if so, I ponder the meaning because there could be many or perhaps you simply luike yellow roses. A writer cloaked in mystery- nice job.
Hello , I'm jimmyfin and I'm here to review your work. What I see may differ from your intent, don't ever change what your vision says should remain.
"GIVE HER BACK TO ME!" is contained by its four five-lines stanzas; the last line of each is a refrain. The rhyme scheme throughout is aabbc. The poem is about a daughter that gets attacked by her car and almost meets her end but for a passerby. The poem has great flow and the rhyme is unforced as line transition is great. There are no errors- good job!!
Please continue to write from you heart, that's our art. Thank you for letting me sneak a peek at the words you've put in ink. If a piece is modified, and I am notified, I make every effort to do a new review and adjust my rate accordingly. jimmyfin.
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Hello , I'm jimmyfin and I'm here to review your work. What I see may differ from your intent, don't ever change what your vision says should remain.
"A WRITER'S IMAGINATION" is a structured free verse contained by its three tercets in which each opens with "A writer’s imagination ...". The poem is about writing creativity and connects the mind to pen and paper. The piece has great flow and some good imagery, "The words spew forth to be jotted upon paper" creates a visual flow from the mind through the pen and onto the sheet. The are no errors - good job!
Please continue to write from you heart, that's our art. Thank you for letting me sneak a peek at the words you've put in ink. If a piece is modified, and I am notified, I make every effort to do a new review and adjust my rate accordingly. jimmyfin.
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Hello , I'm jimmyfin and I'm here to review your work. What I see may differ from your intent, don't ever change what your vision says should remain.
"I'M ONLY A BIRD" is this poems centerpiece used a refrain to end the last line and close each of the poem's four quatrains. The story told is seen through the eyes of an eagle; but of course eagles do not write poetry, they inspire it, so the thoughts are the authors. The eagle in the poem's body is called a bird but knowing the bird is an eagle adds a spiritual undertone to the words. OK - the hard part- I think out loud as I type. The poem is usual, here is why: The rhyme is the first three quatrains is abcc- no rhyme in the last. There are some lines that are 50% longer than others in the same quatrains. These two things add a certain amount of review risk but the risk is being taken by an experienced poet; my job is to find the reasons. The first two lines of the first stanza are long- long lines play more to emotion than action. The eagle is silent but soars- the long lines paint a picture of bird gliding and observing- we are lifted into the current of soft tones by the smooth flow of the flight. The next two lines are much shorter and bring the action of the cries below alive but does so with the same smooth flow of the flight- the shorter lines add an urgency. The second quatrain speeds things up with short lines as the bird runs quickly through the thoughts and feeling of what is observed below and cannot be voiced. The poems longest line opens the third quatrain- it serves as reminder that we are in flight- we are still soaring and looking. The shorter lines contain some of the birds frustrations as we continue to think as we glide. The unrhymed last quatrain contains the poem's epiphany- the lack of rhyme is a device just as the long lines are. This is where the message resides- I am the same as you created by God, but I am different than you and glad for it. The lack of rhyme is metaphor for this difference. The flow, long lines and all is excellent- the piece has a wonderful tone throughout. The rhyme is great- even when not there!! The refrain, "I’m only a bird" reinforces the tone leading into each quatrain and helps us to stay in flight. The entire four quatrains contain a single period- (more risk)- it comes here: "Created by God to wander this Earth." A very appropriate place for the poem's period. Except for some commas all end-stops are open- the flight goes on - what the bird sees will continue to go on until God places the period. There are no errors- Great Poem!!
Please continue to write from you heart, that's our art. Thank you for letting me sneak a peek at the words you've put in ink. If a piece is modified, and I am notified, I make every effort to do a new review and adjust my rate accordingly. jimmyfin.
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Hello , I'm jimmyfin and I'm here to review your work. What I see may differ from your intent, don't ever change what your vision says should remain.
"A FREE SPIRIT" is an acrostic from. The beginning letters for the first two stanzas when read down spell Free Spirit. The poem offers a brief self-description of the authors personality. The acrostic is executed perfectly. The piece has excellent flow through its short lines. Well chosen end stop words reveal the poem's nature without reading the preceding words adding extra punch to the lines; the Open end-stops add to the FREE SPIRIT theme. There are no errors. Great Job!!
Please continue to write from you heart, that's our art. Thank you for letting me sneak a peek at the words you've put in ink. If a piece is modified, and I am notified, I make every effort to do a new review and adjust my rate accordingly. jimmyfin.
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Hello , I'm jimmyfin and I'm here to review your work. What I see may differ from your intent, don't ever change what your vision says should remain.
"IT LURKS" is contained by its two quatrains. The poem has a rhyme scheme of abab. The piece is of the Horror/Scary genre but for me, I find a spiritual undertone. The lines are nice and tight and with good word selection give the poem great flow. The rhyme works well: I like lurks with smirks and unsheathed with beast the best but all the end words are well chosen to give each line of thought some extra impact. For example: smirks to me implies more than a natural impulse from the beast- it implies thought with premeditated intent. I do not see any errors- Good Job!
Please continue to write from you heart, that's our art. Thank you for letting me sneak a peek at the words you've put in ink. If a piece is modified, and I am notified, I make every effort to do a new review and adjust my rate accordingly. jimmyfin.
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What I see may differ from your intent, don't ever change what your vision says should remain.
"Life Goes On" is a free verse contained by its two quatrains and a sandwiched tercet. The poem is about, "The reflection upon the death of the family breadwinner." The first stanza introduces the cause of the loss, the second stanza deals with the feeling involved and the third stanza is the realization on life changing impact. The piece is good flow through its sad lines of loss. The last line has an open end-stop that holds the reader in thought- some will call this errors- it worked for me. No errors- Good Job!!
Please continue to write from you heart, that's our art. Thank you for letting me sneak a peek at the words you've put in ink. If a piece is modified, and I am notified, I make every effort to do a new review and adjust my rate accordingly. jimmyfin.
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What I see may differ from your intent, don't ever change what your vision says should remain.
"Stuffed Cow" is contained by its five stanzas of free verse. The poem is about, "This is a tribute to my stuffed cow, Bob, and to children that never die." The poem has good flow through childhood memories of Bob, the stuffed cow. The essence of the poem is that pieces of our childhood will always stay with us. Bob is an excellent way to make that point. Mine was an elephant named Fluffy! There are no errors- Good Job!
Please continue to write from you heart, that's our art. Thank you for letting me sneak a peek at the words you've put in ink. If a piece is modified, and I am notified, I make every effort to do a new review and adjust my rate accordingly. jimmyfin.
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What I see may differ from your intent, don't ever change what your vision says should remain.
"As the Storm Passes" is contained by its single stanza with open end-stops. The piece is listed as prose but the end-stops and layout make it poetry- it is a free verse poem. It opens in a setting on a hill with a storm approaching so we are given a visual location and hear the roar of the storm- excellent opening! The event takes the author and reader to a time when man was one with nature using images of hunters. In a turn the storm becomes the hunter and the author its prey. The hunt is not to cause harm- it is to make the author one with herself through nature. There are no errors - Great Job!!
Please continue to write from you heart, that's our art. Thank you for letting me sneak a peek at the words you've put in ink. If a piece is modified, and I am notified, I make every effort to do a new review and adjust my rate accordingly. jimmyfin.
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What I see may differ from your intent, don't ever change what your vision says should remain.
"The Circle" is a script for a comedy play about, "An absurdist play in which two guys find themselves in a hole—literally." The play opens with the men in the pit and in conversation. I see some spelling errors:
Nevermind - Never mind
Descarte - Descartes’
Til - 'Til
figeting - fidgeting
aetheists - atheists
Good Job!
Please continue to write from you heart, that's our art. Thank you for letting me sneak a peek at the words you've put in ink. If a piece is modified, and I am notified, I make every effort to do a new review and adjust my rate accordingly. jimmyfin.
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What I see may differ from your intent, don't ever change what your vision says should remain.
"Peace Be With You" is a one stanza free verse about, "... leaving the ones you love". The poem is an Absent Love entry with good flow. It is a simple and to the point offering of a wounded heart told in straight forward language. I do not see any errors. Some imagery would boost the piece- Nice job!
Please continue to write from you heart, that's our art. Thank you for letting me sneak a peek at the words you've put in ink. If a piece is modified, and I am notified, I make every effort to do a new review and adjust my rate accordingly. jimmyfin.
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What I see may differ from your intent, don't ever change what your vision says should remain.
"Not So Eternal Flame" is an Absent Love poem contained by its single free verse stanza. The poem opens with a broken hearted setting of lies. The good flow takes us to some memories of what was good and then turns back to the issue causing the pain. It seems that there is another hand now receiving the missing pink Valentines. I see one tiny errors: What did I to deserve this pain? The word 'do' seems to be missing. Nice Job!
Please continue to write from you heart, that's our art. Thank you for letting me sneak a peek at the words you've put in ink. If a piece is modified, and I am notified, I make every effort to do a new review and adjust my rate accordingly. jimmyfin.
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What I see may differ from your intent, don't ever change what your vision says should remain.
"In Between Storms" is a free verse contained by its four quatrains. The poem is about, "... facing the storms in life together with someone special...", it is a love poem. The poem has good flow through life's storms that form and strengthen the epiphany's coupling. I do not see any errors- I have a small suggestion- Like is repeated in the first two short lines, I wonder how you would feel about replacing life at the end of the 2nd line with another word. Good Job!
Please continue to write from you heart, that's our art. Thank you for letting me sneak a peek at the words you've put in ink. If a piece is modified, and I am notified, I make every effort to do a new review and adjust my rate accordingly. jimmyfin.
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Author Appreciation Activity: "Ink Blot Hall of Fame" You have a fan and have been gifted the "EBB LOVE PACKAGE".
What I see may differ from your intent, don't ever change what your vision says should remain.
"A Mother" is a Happy Mother's Day tribute to a mom that is loved. The poem is contained by its five quatrains of varied rhyme pattern- Stanza one: abac, Stanza two: abab, Stanza three: abcb, Stanza four: abab and Stanza five: abab - perhaps rhyme variation is a metaphor for the different qualities of a mother. The poem has good flow and some image with nice poetic words. The rhyme is natural and the variety is not distracting and adds motherly qualities to the write. I do not see any errors- Nice Job!
Please continue to write from you heart, that's our art. Thank you for letting me sneak a peek at the words you've put in ink. If a piece is modified, and I am notified, I make every effort to do a new review and adjust my rate accordingly. jimmyfin.
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Author Appreciation Activity: "Ink Blot Hall of Fame" You have a fan and have been gifted the "EBB LOVE PACKAGE".
What I see may differ from your intent, don't ever change what your vision says should remain.
"Soliloquy" is contained by its four quatrains and follows self-imposed rules in construction; the rhyme pattern is abcb. The piece is "a poem about the inevitable that everyone fears...". The poem deals with death chasing life with good flow and a natural rhyme that works very well. I do not see any errors - Good Job!
Please continue to write from you heart, that's our art. Thank you for letting me sneak a peek at the words you've put in ink. If a piece is modified, and I am notified, I make every effort to do a new review and adjust my rate accordingly. jimmyfin.
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Author Appreciation Activity: "Ink Blot Hall of Fame" You have a fan and have been gifted the "EBB LOVE PACKAGE".
What I see may differ from your intent, don't ever change what your vision says should remain.
"Black And White" is "a free verse poem ... about sad things and exams..." contained by its three quatrains. The piece is an Absent Love Poem with a setting of a "wooden table". The piece has nice flow and some good imagery. It also contains a turn that leads to the epiphany. There is a nice contrast comparing a color photo seen in black and white by the heart's eyes. There are no errors that I see - Nice Job!
Please continue to write from you heart, that's our art. Thank you for letting me sneak a peek at the words you've put in ink. If a piece is modified, and I am notified, I make every effort to do a new review and adjust my rate accordingly. jimmyfin.
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Hello , I'm jimmyfin and I'm here to review your work for the Novice Writer's Guild. What I see may differ from your intent, don't ever change what your vision says should remain.
"The Letter {A Terzanelle}" The poem is in Terzanelle form and is about, "... a helpless condition about a woman ..." The poem has nice flow and a very good tone containing the woman's sadness. The rhyme is correct and good except in the second tercet where the rhyme repeats the identical word rather than a rhyme. The refrains are well chosen and repeat correctly. The only problem with the form is the meter- in a Terzanelle,which is a combination of the villanelle and the terza rima forms, each line of the poem should be the same metrical length. My only other suggestion is not to double space. Nice Job!
Please continue to write from you heart, that's our art. Thank you for letting me sneak a peek at the words you've put in ink. If a piece is modified, and I am notified, I make every effort to do a new review and adjust my rate accordingly. jimmyfin.
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Hello , I'm jimmyfin and I'm here to review your work for the Novice Writer's Guild. What I see may differ from your intent, don't ever change what your vision says should remain.
"Will You Ever Answer Me?" The piece is contained by its four quatrains and closing sexian. The rhyme in the quatrains is abcbd and in the sexian, abcabc. The rhyme works nicely and the poem has good flow- the quatrains are a prayer and the sexian contains the epiphany. There is an error: in the thirdstanza- your = you're. Good Job!
Please continue to write from you heart, that's our art. Thank you for letting me sneak a peek at the words you've put in ink. If a piece is modified, and I am notified, I make every effort to do a new review and adjust my rate accordingly. jimmyfin.
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Hello , I'm jimmyfin and I'm here to review your work for the Novice Writer's Guild. What I see may differ from your intent, don't ever change what your vision says should remain.
"Memories" is a free verse contained by its three double spaced quatrains. The poem about, "... dark memories that continue to torment me." has good flow through tight lines. The piece opens with darkness of mind and moves on to the heart and into an epiphany. The piece is light on image but depression often is stark. I do not see any errors- Nice Job!
Please continue to write from you heart, that's our art. Thank you for letting me sneak a peek at the words you've put in ink. If a piece is modified, and I am notified, I make every effort to do a new review and adjust my rate accordingly. jimmyfin.
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Hello , I'm jimmyfin and I'm here to review your work for the Novice Writer's Guild. What I see may differ from your intent, don't ever change what your vision says should remain.
"The Beacon" is a free verse contained its five double spaced quatrains that have a single end rhyme in the second stanza. The piece is about, "This is an inspirational poem about a beacon signifying love." The poem opens with the clay potter image. Stanza two through four contain request of what not to shape out of the clay. The fifth stanza contains the desired result and saves the first stanza from cliche. The poem is a simple prayer, in essence, and like prayer's often do, uses a biblical metaphor in its asking- the potter and clay. Some imagery would boost the piece- I would suggest single space- I do not see any errors- Nice Job!
Please continue to write from you heart, that's our art. Thank you for letting me sneak a peek at the words you've put in ink. If a piece is modified, and I am notified, I make every effort to do a new review and adjust my rate accordingly. jimmyfin.
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Hello , I'm jimmyfin and I'm here to review your work. What I see may differ from your intent, don't ever change what your vision says should remain.
"An Ode to a Woman's Chest Pain " is a free verse, contained by its ten quatrains, about, "Women's intuition is felt in more places than you can imagine." The poem has good flow through what seems to be realization of a broken or loss dream, perhaps Absent Love based on the ending's epiphany of cure. The poem does not creat imagery but rather lists things that the pain is like and medical help would not solve the problem. The poet suggests trying to escape it tongue in cheek-knowing that there's no escape from the feelings of love. I do not see any errors. Image would boost the write. Nice Job!
Please continue to write from you heart, that's our art. Thank you for letting me sneak a peek at the words you've put in ink. If a piece is modified, and I am notified, I make every effort to do a new review and adjust my rate accordingly. jimmyfin.
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Hello , I'm jimmyfin and I'm here to review your work. What I see may differ from your intent, don't ever change what your vision says should remain.
"A Band of Brothers" is a contained by its five quatrains of aabb rhyme. The poem is about the feeling associated with, "Walking out to the crowd, before the game". The piece has good flow with tight lines and the rhyme is good although not perfect- what game is is metaphor. All end-stops are open but transition is natural- there is no confusion caused by lack of punctuation. The event is not stated so we are left without that image- there are sixty players, so I am not sure what the game is. The images we are given have to do with feeling of what it is like to take the field- I assume a field but can't tell if in or outdoors. There are no errors- my only suggestion would be to develop an image to bring readers into the event, so they can relate. Nice Job!
Please continue to write from you heart, that's our art. Thank you for letting me sneak a peek at the words you've put in ink. If a piece is modified, and I am notified, I make every effort to do a new review and adjust my rate accordingly. jimmyfin.
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Hello , I'm jimmyfin and I'm here to review your work. What I see may differ from your intent, don't ever change what your vision says should remain.
"My Grandfather's Funeral" is a poem contained by its two stanzas. The poem opens in a setting of a shelter dug by grandfather in a hillside behind a trailer in Mississippi, two children play there in the damp and dark with good images of their activities and results. The second stanza brings us to grandfather's wake and funeral. The unspoken images from above linger with contrast. I am not sure of the whys of the ending but in epiphany, I see parental attempt at protection not being able to shield us from life as much as it try. The poem has great flow in this error free telling. Great job!!
Please continue to write from you heart, that's our art. Thank you for letting me sneak a peek at the words you've put in ink. If a piece is modified, and I am notified, I make every effort to do a new review and adjust my rate accordingly. jimmyfin.
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Hello , I'm jimmyfin and I'm here to review your work for the Novice Writer's Guild. What I see may differ from your intent, don't ever change what your vision says should remain.
"The battle of cannea" is a poem contained by it single stanza in abcb rhyme. The piece is about, "the events of the battle of cannea between rome and hannibal." The poems nice flow and rhyme through "The Battle of Cannea". The piece open with soldiers and invaders on the march and ominous crows overhead. The story is told with nice detail and in the last three lines the crows return with reason. There are no errors in the body of the poem. The title has errors in two place: The battle of cannea and The battle of Cannea should be The Battle of Cannea. The poem description has three proper nouns in lowercase - cannea, rome and hannibal should all be uppercase- discriptions do not count in my review rate- titles do. Nice Job!
Please continue to write from you heart, that's our art. Thank you for letting me sneak a peek at the words you've put in ink. If a piece is modified, and I am notified, I make every effort to do a new review and adjust my rate accordingly. jimmyfin.
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