Interesting thoughts, though I found this part "because its moving massive distances, just so it can reach us" to be a confusing way of saying that Andromedea and the Milky Way are on a collision course and a long time from now will merge.
Don't say it like I wrote it either, but I think if you play with the phrasing, you'll get something a bit more clear yet just as poetic as "just so it can reach us"
As this is a short piece, you might play with framing it like a poem, or introducing a paragraph or two. It will be more easily read and spread it out some visually. As a single paragraph, it felt a bit dense (not as in dumb) to read.
I tried to give you a neutral scoring as this is my first review. Apologies if it skews your rating. If I can, I'll be happy to re-review it if you make any changes.
Printed from https://shop.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/kenf
All Writing.Com images are copyrighted and may not be copied / modified in any way. All other brand names & trademarks are owned by their respective companies.
Generated in 0.06 seconds at 2:47am on Nov 27, 2024 via server WEBX1.
View Portfolio
Visit Notebook
Send Gift Points
Awards
Badges
Send Email
Community Newsfeed
General Discussion
Sponsored Items
Book of Trinkets
Static Items
Books
Groups
Interactive Stories
Audio
Campfire Creatives
Community Notes
Crossword Puzzles
Documents
Folders
Images
In & Outs
Madlibs
Photo Albums
Polls
Product Reviews
Quizzes
Survey Forms
Web Pages
Word Searches
