I liked it. The flow was good with moving through the beginning of a long story. There were a few grammatical errors but that is nothing another read through wouldn't catch. One thing that caught me by surprise was the description of Yoda reposing as he looked out over Coruscant. It isn't a problem or anything. I just never imagined Yoda lounging as he looked out a window. It was a good beginning and I hope that you bring more of the story to bear.
I found this argument to be insightful. When reading essays of a philosophical nature the advice of George Orwell comes to mind. He says in "1984" that a good book does not introduce something completely new but something that you already know. This is what your essay did for me. If I had to criticize anything it would be the list of your friends arguement. The purpose of this is that you described the same thing a few paragraphs previous. I heard of a pin once that had a phrase on it that you may like. The pin said "God is dead -Nietszche". Then on the underside it read "Nietszche is dead -God".
Good luck, and do not stop pondering strange thought.
There is very well done person to person narration. It keeps you, or rather me, interested on a level of a action thriller. I am not sure if that is a compliment or not. Let us see, from what I remember the story was pretty much all action with a bit of intrigue into Aquena's past and that is a good basis for a book. However, if you do plan on taking this further then i would imagine that you will need a bit more than just a girls demons to keep a sustainable plot in motion.
Personally I found this story to be extremely in depth into a soul of another person. If I could wish for anything it would be that my writings had half the soul of this beloved writer's
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