Thoughts: Your poem reminds me of something I would hear an older sibling say to their younger brother or sister on Halloween. Or possibly a stranger who wishes to be frightening. It isn't frightening, but I don't think you meant it to come off that way. The poem was dry, but it can be improved. I liked the cadence of it, and it was nice to read.
Errors: Grammatical error in the 4th stanza, 3rd line. And you find that your(you're) home now.
Suggestions: Why not make it frightening? It could give it some spunk, or emotion.
Note: Keep in mind that these are just my thoughts and suggestions. You can ignore them if you wish.
Keep writing because all you've got to look forward to is improvement.
Thanks for reading.
Printed from https://shop.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/lighthning
All Writing.Com images are copyrighted and may not be copied / modified in any way. All other brand names & trademarks are owned by their respective companies.
Generated in 0.07 seconds at 5:08pm on Oct 25, 2025 via server WEBX1.
View Portfolio
Visit Notebook
Send Gift Points
Awards
Badges
Send Email
Community Newsfeed
General Discussion
Sponsored Items
Book of Trinkets
Static Items
Books
Groups
Interactive Stories
Audio
Campfire Creatives
Community Notes
Crossword Puzzles
Documents
Folders
Images
In & Outs
Madlibs
Photo Albums
Polls
Product Reviews
Quizzes
Survey Forms
Web Pages
Word Searches
