This could have been and excellent story, but because of the many spelling and spacing mistakes, it began to frustrate me. But besides that it was very good, I am really enjoying it. Here is my edit, please make use of it, so that the story can become excellent.
line 6 spaced to far the word "after"
line 7 spaced to far the word "would"
2nd paragraph line #2 spaced to far "with"
3rd paragraph requires spacing between it an 2nd paragraph
3rd paragraph 1st line would should be "ulterior" not "alterior"
3rd paragraph line 1 spaced to far "prove"
" " 3 " "any more"
" 4 " "completely"
" " 6 " "left"
4th paragraph opening "three years earlier" should have space after it.
5 paragraph from "Damnit Darren! should have space between it and 4th paragraph
6th paragraph "No, I got the message needs to be spaced from 5th.
7th also requires spacing from "Pam shot him"
7th paragraph line 1 change "glair" to "glare"
8th paragraph needs space from 7th, from "This was Pam's"
9th paragraph needs spacing from "Pam then headed to the auditorium"
space the sentence under 9th paragraph, starting " Just then she heard someone coming"
space paragraph 12 from 'Oh my god, Pam what"
space paragraph 13 from "You heard that whole thing Hun"
space paragraph 14 from "If you want more respect Pam Cakes"
From this point all paragraphs need to be checked over and spaced
For this paragraph: "You know that's not true, and that’s all that matters, what you know and believe. Don't listen to people, people are stupid. We dated a long time before anyone found out, and back then we were fine.." you need to take away one of the full stops.
"So let me get this straight, your saying that I look like crap?" She glared at him," "your" should be "you're"
For this part "You don't remember? It's probably best that way, Staci didn't catch you when you were coming down from being thrown. I heard from Stephan who heard from Flo who said he heard from the cheer-coach, that If they can prove she did it on purpose then she will be kicked out of the team and her ASU scholarship will be null and void!" The "If" should be common "if"
For this part "I don't know? Do I look like his keeper?" Snapped Darren bitterly, then realized that this might not be the time to be vendictful towards her looser boyfriend- after all, Flo did set up that date with the producers for him. "Actually I think he might be coming later, he said something about finishing some business he had started or something." the word should be "vindictive" not "vendictful"
"You will be just fine, we believe it's a concussion that should heal on its own, just to be sure we're going to run a few tests at around five pm. After that you most likely we be allowed to go home. Do you have someone to watch you at home, like a parent?" The nurse looked at Pam, who paused and then answered
The above part with "we be" should be "will be"
The word below should be "travelling"
Then during her fifth year of her early life, without warning, her father moved out of town and decided to travel the world in a cheep used RV that smelled of cigarettes, beer and cheep wine that he had bought at an auction. With his trashy RV he planned to roam the country and live the life of a nomad. This was the last time she saw her father, and because he was always traveling, he lost all contact with Pam and left Pam's poor mother to support her daughter all by herself.
"Pam, can I ask you a question?" said Darren nervacly. the word should be "nervously"
Girls should be "girl's" for the below
"Darren!" Pam began laughing, her face reddened, "Why would you want take a girl to prom? You're silly! You’ve never even had a girlfriend, why would you want to start out with prom? That's a girls most fantastic night, she wouldn't want to go with you, she would want to go with an experienced dater! How about you come with Flo and I, you don't need some girl to keep you company!" Pam smiled; Darren sank, he was afraid that was the answer he was going to get.
the word is "you're for the below
Angry, Darren got up off his bed and unlocked the door, "There, are you happy?! You want to look at me and see my pain? Fine! Look, here I am! Look at my pain!!"
His mom turned around and began to walk downstairs, "Oh, so dramatic! Just remember to keep your door open when you are freaking out! I know you'll tell me your problems when your ready."
Hard to understand what you are saying here with "wasn't want to be" try to make clearer. below paragraph
Even thought the "pimp pad", Flo wasn't want to be "gangster-like", and he had good taste in clothing. Flo dressed in mostly black, usually long sleeve black designer dress shirts, and expensive slacks and shoes. He wore top of the line watches, and he"
"Days" not "day's" below
Darren was actually extremely afraid of Flo. He wasn't scared of him because he was strong and he worked out, or that Flo knew people that would be willing to hurt Darren badly if he willed it to be done. Or that Flo abused drugs and would sometimes blank out day's at a time. Or even that Flo was some how receiving great sums of money, and that with using the money, he could completely derail Darren's life. That was all frightening, but that wasn't what scared Darren the most.
"you're" not "your", "anyway" not "anyways" below
"My god Pam your not a saint, I just thought it was a normal question to ask you. Staci is the one who is gunna get in trouble anyways, your off the hook! You have get intoxicated free pass right now and you should take this opportunity to use it.
"arms" not "arm's" below
Flo wrapped his arm's around his Pam and they left together. Maybe Flo was right, she did have a hard day. Pam hated it that Flo could some how seem so persuasive. She hated that she hung on every word he muttered, and did everything he said. Whether it was who to talk to, what to wear, or when or when-not to stay out of trouble, Flo always seemed to have an answer for her.
"have" not "has" below
Pam paused, why didn't she stick to her gut? Why couldn't she had just said no to Flo? If she refused the test now, she would guilty for sure.
"days" not "day's" below
Well," Said the principle, "I think that if you can go down sometime within the next few days’ and get some results from a lab sent to us, we would be satisfied."
Pam went back to class, her face felt so warm, she could tell she was shaking. She had to find Flo and talk with him as soon as possible, he always seemed to have an answer, even if it meant making things worse before they got better. She didn't want to let down her coach either. At least she had a few day's to fix this mess she had made.
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